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The past month has been super crazy. I have been wanting a break, from mom's health issues, let alone her dementia, but this is not what I meant. I can accept she is gone and in a better place at peace, but now what?


My mom passed away at about 11:45 pm on Wednesday evening. Thursday was spent taking care of her burial arrangements (which luckily she had already did and paid for, so it was more paperwork they anything). Today husband went back to work and brother flew home to Maryland. He will be back on the 19th for the 20th interment.


I spent the day home, yes there where many phones and text messages. Kept self busy with a month's worth of undone housework. But really now what? I stopped my life for the last year and a half to care for her. I am broke, have lost customers, behind on some bills, but I don't know how to just get back to living.


I know it is too soon, just a few days. I am just not sure where to start, plus I think I am in shock of how quickly this all played out.

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Tattoo, I am sorry for your loss, it is very fresh. My mom passed June 1. I know where you are. I provided four years mom's care until two years ago when I just couldn't/wouldn't do it any longer. Just the start of recovering from the caring for her took me seven months to begin to feel normal.

Tattoo, just take your time, do what you can do, when you want to do it. It definitely takes time, and is different for everyone.

Again, my condolences on the loss of your mom.
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Sorry to hear of your loss and your plight. I would suggest not making any major decisions at the present time for a while. Be kind to yourself.
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Tattoo you are in shock right now. I would just sit with it............don't make any plans.

Show yourself some love................a lot of love. You deserve it.
I'm so sorry for your loss.
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Yes, this is way too soon to figure out how to get back to living your own life. That will come gradually, over the coming months. And it won't be a matter of getting back to normal ... it will be building a new normal.

Be gentle with yourself. Don't expect overnight miracles. Healing takes time.

You did your absolute best to take care of your mother. Now it is time to take care of you.
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People already said what my first thought was. So sorry to hear that this week you had this life event occur. 3 days is not enough, nor is 5 days or 3 weeks. I think you should expect 2 months for all you have likely been through this year just to get your bearings. Set some goals. Build a schedule that works for you this month. Make sure you sleep 7-9 hours daily. Make sure you eat breakfast within 1-2 hours of finally deciding to start your day; rounded breakfast take some daily breaks like 15-30 minutes in the day just to recharge for what needs to get done. Stay focused on what you can get done today, and just one day at a time and sticking to good schedule that is healthy makes a great impact. Take some walks twice a day. Play solitaire. Listen to music. Find peace and stay engaged but do not overdo it. Easily to get pulled into other people's schedule. Define your schedule. Housework, smart move. Focus on things that will improve your day. Many of us have been there. Spend a few hours a day doing things you like to do that can ease your pain or loss. Cooking something you haven't cooked in awhile. Learn a new hobby. But you have a lot going on this month, so get through that first but keep good ideas in mind. Best of luck and sorry for your loss.
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I just lost my mother July 9th. I feel the same as you. After 5 years of caring for her while struggling with dementia, I feel more exhausted now than I did while caring for her. I think it is all of the physical and emotional demands finally catching up to me. Just give it time and take care of yourself. We as caretakers often take care of others better than we do ourselves. Give yourself the same care and respect that you gave your mother. I am sorry for the loss of your mother.
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Tatoochick,
I'm so sorry about the loss of your Mother.You have been through a lot caring for her,I know.Give yourself a break and just go with how you feel for now.It takes awhile for the brain to "gel" all that's happened.Wishing you peace in your days ahead.{{{hugs}},Lu
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I lost my mom about 16 months ago. It's just starting to feel normal.
To some extent you're in shock. Try to be gentle with yourself. Eat healthy food, try to walk some every day, get as much sleep as you can. It will take a while. Stay close to the people who mean the most to you.
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Tattoo
So sorry for the toll the journey has taken but you can rest knowing you were mom's hero and you didn't fail her

God bless
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Seriously. How much I despise my existence sometimes. The total servitude I endure. I'm not sure. If she dies before I do, which sometimes I really doubt. Because she's in la la land and I'm not, providing for la la land and slowly killing my will to be me , long drawn out sentence , but will I miss my beautiful mother bringing cup cakes in to my first grade birth day party. ? Absolutely yes. I think I'll remember the good times. The great times. At least I hope so
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