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now i understand why my brother refuse to get outside help to look after dad while he was in fla . i beg him cried to him plz dad wants to stay home , he doesnt want to go to assist living . he says linda ! i dont trust anybody i dont know . i know not to trust anybody but i didnt think about what im hearing here .
im glad he trust his baby sister here . other wise dad would be in nursing home . its me or the nursing home . dad would cry and hollar for me and we were thousand miles away , my brother called and ask me if i would take dad in and zoom i went down there and got him . it will be one year next month since hes been with me.
alwaysmyduty i am so sorry your mother turned agaisnt you . daisy prob has fed your mom some no good ideas . am so sorry you had t o miss christmas without ur mother ,
hope she doesnt go broke and turn around to see daisy walk away from all that .
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I need help on this topic also. Mom and I hired "Daisy" from an agency to help Mom with doctor trips,groceries,etc. Mom lives alone,has many illnesses but no dementia per hr Dr. They hit it off, I thought fine, Mom needs to feel independent. Little did I know that one yr later, Daisy has replaced me as the daughter. Mom is furious at me for not letting her die in the ER several months ago although it was Daisy who followed the ambulance, was there before me as I was at work. Daisy now takes care of Mom as a favor, not thru the agency. Mom has cut off ties with us for the most part. I tried talking to her but says my adult kids and I are hateful to her and Daisy loves her. We don't know how to handle this. For the first time in my life, my Mom refused to have Christmas with us. She spent it with Daisy and the owner of the agency. Like you Pamela, I just have a funny feeling. If I push it, I think Mom would make up something and call the police on me as she has hinted she would. We've never had a good relationship, now we have none.
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Thank you Shawna. I live on my own however my sister, her husband, and their two teenage kids live in my moms house. I am the one who took a family leave to care for my mom though. When I found it to be too much for me I enlisted help. But the girl is a busy body, (really) who talks NON STOP, and butts in with everything concerning our family. Unfortunately she has been present when I didn't have sense enough to ask her to leave and now she just knows too much of our business and is even trying to get the people next door to get her to come in and take care of the elderly lady too. Just too much, way too much and she has made my mom co-dependent on her. I've told my mom but my mom says I don't like anybody. That's not it but I don' t want just anyone there taking care of her.

Does that help any? I'm still looking for advise cause it may be that if my mom likes her, that's all that matters. I just hve a funny feeling about her.
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Would it be possible to have a serious discussion with your mother about your feelings and observations about her caregiver? Maybe if she heard your concerns about how her caregiver is fitting into both your lives she could handle considering someone new. Does your mother live with you? I have found when communicating with elderly folks that taking the approach of being concerned for their safety, care and emotional well being is effective. She may have no idea you are uncomfortable with this person and if you can relay that to her she may be more willing to consider a change. I don't know your situation, but I do understand wanting the best for your parent and having a bad feeling or just feeling uncomfortable with a caregiver is difficult and can cause tension. Listening to your "gut" and being cautious is so important in caring for someone other than ourselves. I wish you luck in getting this resolved.
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