Finding Joy in the Journey. I'm wondering what you do to stay encouraged while caring for your loved ones?

I try to keep a positive attitude, which is easier when I'm rested. I try to keep balance by continuing my routine activities and maintaining friendships. I can't keep up with things the way I used to, though, and often have to say, "No," to friends and recreation when my parent's needs take precedence over my pleasure. It has been a challenge facing my loved one's Alzheimer's, Cancer, Depression, Personality Disorder, financial crises, and relocation for Mom and Dad. But I've also been encouraged by answered prayer, a wealth of friendships, fellow caregivers on this site, supportive family, and a myriad of resources available. God has blessed along the way, including the encouragement from fellow Caregivers and professionals on this site.

I'm embarrassed reading what I wrote above, and all the repeats and jumbled sentences. It shows my lack of rest lately, and challenges to meet needs (of our loved ones) and red tape requirements. My husband is helping me, at my "request," but there's much to do caring for 3 elderly parents and their estates. The learning curve is great. We are weary, but hate to complain, because some of you have more difficulties still. I have been very encouraged by some of your posts, and learned so much from some of you. I wanted this thread to reflect the joy we find in Caregiving, and the ways we help ourselves and others stay encouraged while handling challenging tasks. I would appreciate your input. And as I read your threads and posts, I am praying that you find "joy in the journey"!

I would try to get in a local support group for caregivers and try to keep up with interest-I am so glad I had my own idenity during all those years I was caregiver or I would be a mess now but because I had outlets-which he hated- I now am doing pretty good most of the time-even if it is just cooking something you do not have or planting one tomato plant and this site saved my sanity and it is open all night abd someone has been through the same as you or ubderstands-one thing I did and still do is crocet lap robes for the senior center to give to hospitals and nursing homes and I saw a pt. using one of mine just before my husband passed away-do not ioslate yourself you never know what God has planned for you tomarrow or ten years ahead and you need to be your own friend and have friends and be a friend to others,

At the outset of my Caregiving days, I read a lot of books on the subject of Alzheimer's; and now I'm reading about Cancer, NPD, Depression, etc. My semi-isolation is only because I'm stuck at my computer doing paperwork for Medicaid, Probate, the Nursing Home, and paying bills. Otherwise I'm attending church, Support Groups (2), and have some wonderful emailing buddies. I'm saving money, though. I used to be out and about almost every day. And now I get to go to Doctors, pharmacies, hospitals, grocery stores, and 2 Nursing Homes; all in the name of Caregiving. I have been richly blessed by the friendships God has given along the way.

This site has been a sanity-saver for me, too. I've learned so much here, reading these threads and posts, and grown to love some of the wonderful people here. My husband gets hungry, so he took over the cooking, LOL. He helps around the house as well. But dealing with the paperwork, and service entities has taken away our personal freedom and time (temporarily). As we meet our parent's needs, things get easier. I look forward to cooking and gardening again. While helping Mom and Dad and FIL, the weeds and laundry piles have grown. I'll catch up, eventually. I try to be gentle with myself, realizing this is just a season. I still enjoy my little boy.

Thanks so much for sharing what works for you. Glad to hear you're doing so well after all you've been through. That is answered prayer. What joy that you were a blessing to others with your crocheted lap robes! I admire your talents and strengths. You have brought many smiles to me along the way reading your posts, and I know you bring joy to other Caregivers here. Thanks, Austin :) and may God continue to bless you!

Hello, I know just how you feel, I spend most of my days the same. I am trying to adjust with Mom here and taking care of all her bills etc.., and all of my Dad's ( he is in al with alzheimers) dealing with all the doctors for both cooking, cleaning, laundry raising kids one ready for college and my I'm trying to help my daughter plan her 16th birthday party!!! I look at the yard and my head spins!!! Thank God for my hubby and kids we worked so hard today to try to get the yard pool and all in shape for a party Imiss those days though, that that was all I had to worry or think about!!! But you know what I say at least I have something to get out of bed for every morning!!! When I read some of the stories here someone always seems to have it worse than me and I am so grateful. I hope you get some relief from this site the people are so amazing. Take care

O sweet Micheleangel, I can relate to that feeling of looking at the yard and feeling overwhelmed. It's hard to find joy while musing what we're missing, isn't it? With a little rest, I try not to think about what I cannot do, but that I've made a choice to be a Caregiver for several others. It does help to connect with people here, and know the feeling is shared by many. You have put the focus back where it belongs: that we can get out of bed and start a brand new morning. (Sounds like you're counting your blessings.) One never knows what a day will bring forth.

Praying your daughter enjoys a very happy 16th birthday party. So nice to hear your kids and hubby were a blessing to you in that way! Thank you for your kind words that helped.

This site is a sanity saver....its funny how many people do not realize until they have a parent to care for....you never know what you can do until you get there....its like we have everything for the journey but some days you wonder. I never knew I could do so much. I always thought hospice was a sunset patting moms hand saying goodbye and i love you and .......instead its patting and patting and patting...lol........its so different when you get there. You dont realize how much is not covered by insurance, and how much your life will be dominated by discussions about poo. And by how much it means to know that there are so many other people out there. And how wonderful 6 hours of sleep can feel. and how good it feels to cry sometimes. I appreciate this safe place. thanks all.

Dear ddarkangel, you said it well. Life becomes intensely consumed with their illness, for a season. Sound like you have a good handle and perspective. Blessings to you on your journey! Take care.

The tasks, chores, and lists are seemingly endless, which is why it is so important to carve out precious seconds, sometimes minutes of respite for ourselves. Sometimes it is a morning walk to buy the day's newspaper, or a morning drive before the world starts to stir, to buy, or make a cup of hot tea, or coffee. Sometimes sitting outdoors, watching the world go by helps to keep me grounded in Spirit. Prayer, fellowship and devotion time are always on-time and enjoyed at least twice daily. There are so many little things I do to keep my Spirit in balance. I can't imagine being a caregiver to anyone in my world without achieving daily balance and moments of enduring serenity. SecretSister and ddarkangel, you are worth it. It hink it is primarily how we look at time. We can wait for the perfect time and the perfect day. Those may never arrive. What always comes, at least to my caregiving heart, are precious seconds that sometimes turn into precious hours. I don't ask for much. I am most grateful for precious minutes that sometimes become precious hours.

A positive attitude and time off for good behavior. Just found my favorite B and B just reopened. Going to make reservations!!!!!!!!! That is what keeps me going!

My days and nights are so filled with taking care of everyone that I really don't do much anymore. When I get some time to take off my Husband and I go for a ride on our Harley, that takes my mind off of anything that is bothering me it's amazing!!! I am still so grateful for all the good that is in my life though, when I look out my window there is a cross in a field with Jesus on it, its life-like, that's all the reminder I need and keeps me so grounded.

Proud of you, lovingdaughter. There is only one you. God bless you and grant you many precious moments of respite.

I so hear you all....you never know where the moments of renewal will come from...i have never been so excited to return to work this week lol......something to start getting life back to normal even tho i know it will never be the same.....its nice sometimes to have a reminder that life will go on and there are reasons to appreciate our lives..some days you get so under it you forget that..i swear i am going to ride space mountain til i drop! ..nite nite all

Sweet dreams, ddarkangel!

You need to keep up some kind of life of your own seperated from caregiving even if it is a few min. a day because there might come a time when your caregiving duties will no longer be and you need to go on it is hard even when you have activities that you enjoy you never know what God has planned for you when you wake up in the morning-I did have a life apart from caregiving and when he died I am still left floundering some days-today was real bad but got to work on laundry and such and started the paperwork and got the social security straignted out so felt better and my sister suggested I go for a walk then made brownies to take to his memorial service and now feel better than I did when I got up this morning but I know there will be bad days it has not been a month yet and most of you know what I went through the last 20 years and I know he is finally at peace and he loved the Lord -last night I saw fireflies for the first time this summer and rememvered how we use to watch them together

Dear Austin, you are a precious one, still doing for your husband, after his passing. I pray your grief is punctuated by fireflies, loving friends and family. Your life is a wonderful testimony to the grace of God, and I pray he lift you up, and give you strength in the moments and days to follow. Praying you are surrounded by angels, as you have been to so many of us. Thank you for all you do, and for your sweet spirit. To God be the glory!

Austin,
You always make me think and reflect on how lucky we all really are. We are the ones who care and have cared for our family for so many years. I think of you often and hope the days are getting lighter and nights are not so long. Peace to you !! Linda

Secret sister-thank you for your kind words-today was hard but did get a lot done and was able to get out for a short walk which helped and finished a book for my book club.

I stay encouraged by reading all of your posts. Even though my dad is in the ALF, I am still battling daily with all of his financial nightmares that have become mine over this past year. I could go in detail, but it would take hours. But you all are a blessing in this journey, thank you all.

Nauseated, the thought of the bureacratic tangle involving SLF financials makes me cringe. Give yourself a pat on the back! Taking on someone else's financials is very burdensome, no matter how one looks at it, in my opinion. Daily assistive physical care is far easier than adding someone else's financial issues to one's life. Feels like a jail sentence, doesn't it?

Dear Naus, still battling the financial nightmares? Will be praying for you.

caregiverslight, it feels like bondage, sometimes. What's SLF?

I'm trying to finish my folk's 1st Accounting, which has been a nightmare, as well. The court says, "Complicated." And it is! My husband and I have been working on it full time for months. I'm so tired sometimes, I hurt. Add to that our parents to care for...wow ~ it's an overwhelming job, at times. But God provides the wisdom and the strength. I thank him for perserverance, and that he helps us find joy in the journey. I'm thinking I'll be more joyful when the paperwork is finished. Our true joy comes from serving God.

SLF is my typo! lol ALF, pardonez moi.

LOL, thought I was missing something. Too funny.

lol

You know i saw that SLF and thought i was really out of the loop....lol...now i dont feel so bad! nite nite you two!

So funny! What are we all doing up so late? I think counting our blessings, and finding joy in the journey. I pray God give you both rivers of joy for all you do!

You know what we are doing....my mom is slipping off to sleep and its my peaceful quiet time......ahhhh i love this time of nite.....no one yelling orders at me......too bad morning comes way too soon! but for now i can be bad! giggle.....nite nite! ^V^

Are you still up? I am a fan of staying up late, for no reason. Sister, what accounting do you have to do? Why is it so complicated? I thought my dads was so complicated, it took me a week to do the initial guardian/conservator financial plan and report. I have to start now in doing next year's report, because you have to type or write out a form, just like a check register. I need to call the probate court and ask if I can just give them a copy of the check register instead of re-writing a year's worth all over again. It doesn't make any sense. Oh well, lets get some much needed sleep. God bless us all for a good nights rest, Amen.

Dear Naus, I had to do an initial accounting, but it took much more than a week. My cousin went into Mom and Dad's before I was appointed Conservatorship, and worked for months (literally) trying to organize their maze of confusion. She was a godsend. It took me 1 1/2 months to do the initial report. Then 2 1/2 months to spend down and qualify for Medicaid for Dad. They had IRA's, Pension, Annuities, etc. But they also had hundreds of thousands of dollars of old debt on credit cards and a mortgage. It is the most complicated thing I've ever done. It was due May 21, and the court called me in (sent a letter of deficiency). All this, and dealing with my parent's illness, and a 200 mile move for Dad. Then a 200 mile change of location for Mom, too. No small task, any of it. I'm so tired, I hurt sometimes. But I'm also gifted with perseverance. God guides my steps. Without him, I'd fail. Thanks for asking.

My hubby had to do some for his Dad, too, but his was much easier.

SecretSister,

Glad you have such a positive outlook. My mom's assets were easy, just her house and a cd and a small bank account. We spent the money on her care, sold the house and put the proceeds into a trust. Now we have 2 more years for the 5 year look back. We use the money from the house for her care, but eventually is will run out. Then we will be left with SS and Veterans benefits. We are going to sell our house and move into a 55 and over to make it easier for us and her. Our best friends just did it and took her 99 year old mom with them. If she did it, so can we. Good luck and get some rest!!!!!!
Linda