Where to find a probate attorney familiar extreme care I gave my parents but am now faced with losing my home?

Claire, you might not need a probate attorney specifically, depending on facts which need to be addressed in order for posters to give you helpful answers.

Did your parents have separate or joint well? Did they execute a trust? If either, what did these dispositive documents provide for the house?

How was the deed for the house titled? Was your name on it?

An elder law or estate planning attorney could be just as helpful in sorting out this situation, but he/she will absolutely need to know the answers to the questions I've just posed.

If you can answer these questions with specifics, others here can help you with advice on your dilemma.

I googled "extreme care" and found out that it's the name of a product -- a cream, to be specific. Is that what you, ClaireS, mean?

Why did your parents feel you were unable to start a life of your own? If you've been living with them since 1996, has your mother had dementia all that time? Your siblings might be justified in their perception that you aren't entitled to the house and just don't want to establish yourself as an adult, so you'll need to address the underlying legalities of these issues (i.e., will or not, how the deed is titled, etc.) with any attorney you contact.

This is common. Unfortunately, this is how the lawyers may see it:
#1. You are an adult and it was your choice to care for your parents full time until death. Yes, you sacrificed a career, benefits, 401K opportunity, wealth building - all to care for your loving parents. I'm sure your siblings were grateful that you did this and probably without extra compensation from your parents (for example, redoing their original will in 1996 and adding provisions for compensation or house rights upon their death).
2. As your sibs see it: They are grateful for your help. It saved money for the entire estate because you weren't paying caregivers all that time, parents weren't in expensive AL or memory care residential facility -- also saving considerably on the estate.
3. Sibs think YOU WERE COMPENSATED because all that time you were getting free room and board for your trouble/sacrafice.
4. Now the house is part of the estate, parents are gone; sibs want the house sold and estate split between all sibs according to the existing will.
5. You are not homeless. You can buy the other sibs out by paying fair value for the house and stay in it if you want. They will not turn it over to you for your trouble. You could offer to rent back at a fair value with rent being paid and split among the sibs; and maybe even talk to a lawyer and sibs about possibly a rent to own -- using your proceeds from the will to help you make those payments.
5. Don't know how old you are; but you should go out and find a paying job and restart your life. You have sacrificed greatly, this is a big loss for you but you must find the strength to not let this sibling fight over the house wreck everything or sour you on your family. Embrace the freedom you now have to start anew and with a heart full that you have loved and cared and spent precious time with parents you loved and cherished.

Somebody needs to take a stand against this and I am willing to do it before the cancer takes me hopefully. If there is any way to get word out to anyone who has or who is involved in this situation and is legitimate so CA will re-addresses this heiness issue please advise me of anything you may advise me of or forward this message if you can or post it I do not want anyone to be taken advantage of as I have or as deceived and purposely ignored my parents even more so so that their intention weren't put in writing I would be so grateful to at least start the process. The cancer does make me so tired but this would give me more strength to know I or anyone can get this in motion. So. Ca. Atty is Bader, Donna I haven't contacted her as yet. Thank you for any guidance you can provide. I'm a new-be at this posting stuff but am learning it. ty c

I will answer your ?s as succinctly as I am able. I am also weakened by cancer so it makes it even harder to focus.

I am 56. Am disabled but can't get disability since I am linked to trust so have no income. And was just diagnosed with cancer last year so am very ill.

Also they only have given this much care about our parents postmortem so my parents could not defend their wishes. They all have homes. Spouses with incomes. And no they did not care. They actually more so avoided my parents until both passed away because they knew our parents intentions and didn't want that clarified in writing and knew my parents would not get legal council to create trust and wills. My sister and her husband contacted an attorney 7 days after our dad died in 2008 but waited for me to do all the finishing up of getting bills paid etc. Until 2014 when they decided I was now a renter after paying taxes etc. Due to becoming disabled and now having cancer and 56. What employer would want to hire me? But thanks anyway. c

However, I just did get referred to a great atty.

Claire, so much depends on the will. If the will has in it that all assets are to be shared equally among the children, then it will be most important. Caregivers can't really depend on siblings being fair. Many siblings see the caregiver as a mooch that is living off the parent. They have no idea of the long hours that are spent doing the job. The best way to handle assets going to the caregiver are while the parents are still alive, either through the will or through a caregiver contract. After parents are gone it is much more difficult.

You can try to put a claim against the estate for the house that you earned, but it will be difficult. Quite a few caregivers find themselves in similar positions. They give so much, often without any reward except to know that they did what needed to be done. If you find a way to submit a claim, please let us know how it goes.