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My siblings are trying to the only place I've known of as home since 1996 because they are reinterpreting that my parents wanted me to hold onto the property for the 4 of us children. This was well known by all 4 of this but not questioning until after they both were dead. They were particularly concerned about me because "I was not able to create a life of my own" and starting a new career but had to only had a half hearted chance to begin then I had drop those due to my parents needs becoming greater and greater including toileting for my mom who eventually died of dementia. They wanted me to have the property for as long as I needed it provided that if any of my siblings became homeless I was agreeable to let them move back home. I was. Now they are trying leave me homeless by selling it quartering up the money for which I could not possibly replace my home. This is California, Alameda County. Please Help.

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Somebody needs to take a stand against this and I am willing to do it before the cancer takes me hopefully. If there is any way to get word out to anyone who has or who is involved in this situation and is legitimate so CA will re-addresses this heiness issue please advise me of anything you may advise me of or forward this message if you can or post it I do not want anyone to be taken advantage of as I have or as deceived and purposely ignored my parents even more so so that their intention weren't put in writing I would be so grateful to at least start the process. The cancer does make me so tired but this would give me more strength to know I or anyone can get this in motion. So. Ca. Atty is Bader, Donna I haven't contacted her as yet. Thank you for any guidance you can provide. I'm a new-be at this posting stuff but am learning it. ty c
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Claire, so much depends on the will. If the will has in it that all assets are to be shared equally among the children, then it will be most important. Caregivers can't really depend on siblings being fair. Many siblings see the caregiver as a mooch that is living off the parent. They have no idea of the long hours that are spent doing the job. The best way to handle assets going to the caregiver are while the parents are still alive, either through the will or through a caregiver contract. After parents are gone it is much more difficult.

You can try to put a claim against the estate for the house that you earned, but it will be difficult. Quite a few caregivers find themselves in similar positions. They give so much, often without any reward except to know that they did what needed to be done. If you find a way to submit a claim, please let us know how it goes.
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However, I just did get referred to a great atty.
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Also they only have given this much care about our parents postmortem so my parents could not defend their wishes. They all have homes. Spouses with incomes. And no they did not care. They actually more so avoided my parents until both passed away because they knew our parents intentions and didn't want that clarified in writing and knew my parents would not get legal council to create trust and wills. My sister and her husband contacted an attorney 7 days after our dad died in 2008 but waited for me to do all the finishing up of getting bills paid etc. Until 2014 when they decided I was now a renter after paying taxes etc. Due to becoming disabled and now having cancer and 56. What employer would want to hire me? But thanks anyway. c
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I am 56. Am disabled but can't get disability since I am linked to trust so have no income. And was just diagnosed with cancer last year so am very ill.
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This is common. Unfortunately, this is how the lawyers may see it:
#1. You are an adult and it was your choice to care for your parents full time until death. Yes, you sacrificed a career, benefits, 401K opportunity, wealth building - all to care for your loving parents. I'm sure your siblings were grateful that you did this and probably without extra compensation from your parents (for example, redoing their original will in 1996 and adding provisions for compensation or house rights upon their death).
2. As your sibs see it: They are grateful for your help. It saved money for the entire estate because you weren't paying caregivers all that time, parents weren't in expensive AL or memory care residential facility -- also saving considerably on the estate.
3. Sibs think YOU WERE COMPENSATED because all that time you were getting free room and board for your trouble/sacrafice.
4. Now the house is part of the estate, parents are gone; sibs want the house sold and estate split between all sibs according to the existing will.
5. You are not homeless. You can buy the other sibs out by paying fair value for the house and stay in it if you want. They will not turn it over to you for your trouble. You could offer to rent back at a fair value with rent being paid and split among the sibs; and maybe even talk to a lawyer and sibs about possibly a rent to own -- using your proceeds from the will to help you make those payments.
5. Don't know how old you are; but you should go out and find a paying job and restart your life. You have sacrificed greatly, this is a big loss for you but you must find the strength to not let this sibling fight over the house wreck everything or sour you on your family. Embrace the freedom you now have to start anew and with a heart full that you have loved and cared and spent precious time with parents you loved and cherished.
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Sorry, a p.s. there does seem to be an attorney in S.CA sympathetic with Care Givers who really do care. But CA seems to be Guilty until proven Innocent State and that needs to be changed or else you'll just end up with elder abusers who don't mind taking a bad wrap. No-when you love someone its too hard to just say bye bye mom & pop & have a nice day.cs
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Though my body and soul have taken a beating by siblings deceitfulness. And I have been diagnosed with cancer. I'll try and beat that to. smile.cs
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in their hearts. We were blessed with such outstanding parents too. They wanted to be at home"their little piece of heaven". I gave them that wish without letting show much how weary I would get. 5:am start 1load of laundry, noon for lunch 2nd load, home to cook and load 3.then sleep with one ear open always. Wish me luck ok?ty
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Found what I was looking for; it's actually called extraordinary care. Kirch & Rounds, have it on their website-title is Claims Against an Estate for Care Given. I still don't know if it is available in CA. But hopefully can make a difference if it isn't. Nobody should have lived thru what I have in the past several years. Care Givers need family to recognize all they give up to take care of elderly parents. What I went thru after their deaths was much worse than taking care of the folks who took care of all us kids. But even after my mom's GP @ Kaiser actually said to siblings & I could no longer do this by myself.new career.etc. life generally on hold no one could find it in
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I googled "extreme care" and found out that it's the name of a product -- a cream, to be specific. Is that what you, ClaireS, mean?
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I'm not familiar with the term "extreme care".

As to how to reply, reread my first and second post and answer the questions. More information is needed in order for me and/or anyone else to understand your situation better. There are legal issues that can only be surmised now; details will help.
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Is there such thing as Extreme Care in CA?

As is obvious, I am not an attorney and at a loss of what to do now.
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I will answer your ?s as succinctly as I am able. I am also weakened by cancer so it makes it even harder to focus.
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Why did your parents feel you were unable to start a life of your own? If you've been living with them since 1996, has your mother had dementia all that time? Your siblings might be justified in their perception that you aren't entitled to the house and just don't want to establish yourself as an adult, so you'll need to address the underlying legalities of these issues (i.e., will or not, how the deed is titled, etc.) with any attorney you contact.
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Claire, you might not need a probate attorney specifically, depending on facts which need to be addressed in order for posters to give you helpful answers.

Did your parents have separate or joint well? Did they execute a trust? If either, what did these dispositive documents provide for the house?

How was the deed for the house titled? Was your name on it?

An elder law or estate planning attorney could be just as helpful in sorting out this situation, but he/she will absolutely need to know the answers to the questions I've just posed.

If you can answer these questions with specifics, others here can help you with advice on your dilemma.
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