I have been married for 39 years to a narcissistic, controlling man who has been verbally, emotionally and financially abusive. Fast forward to who he has always been and now has brain damage and dementia, making him almost impossible to control. He is being evaluated by a neurologist and having a 2nd Neuro-Psychologist evaluation He didn't agree with the findings from the first Neuro-psychologist and I suggested he get a 2nd opinion just to get him to agree to these new evaluations. I took care of him for 3 1/2 years after the MVA we were in until it was killing me. His son agreed to take him and has had him now for 8 months and says his dad has to find a new place to live. The son has discovered who his dad really is and they have had awful altercations. The son finally told his dad he was never going to be able to drive (True!) and husband went at his son verbally. Son is done with his dad living next door to him in a very nice home and has said his dad has to be placed somewhere else as he cannot continue to take care of him. The professionals have said my husband needs to be placed elsewhere, most likely in a locked facility. I called a lady who helps match patients with the 'right' facility. After answering her questions about my husband's behavior (trying to strangle the caregiver, threatening to harm the caregiver, etc.), she stated she doubted there was any place that would take him and if they did and he acted out, they would give me 3 days to find a new facility! I cannot take him back into the home due to my poor health, the son is saying he has to leave and no facility to take him?I have the DPOA but it seems useless given his ability to change it if he finds out I am trying to place him. I saw a lawyer about getting conservatorship and after that meeting I realized I do not want to be his conservator, he is more than I can handle and will be out of control if I were to try to take away his 'rights' and oh, boy, do the patients have lots of rights which would enable him to cause my health to put me in the grave from the stress of it all. Please does anyone out there have any suggestions on what options I have at this point? I am really desperate, frantic and feeling like I have no rights at this point. I have no idea under which of the topics I should post this but finally selected this one.