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He drank hard all his life, now I can't get him out of bed. I cant get him out of the bed as I have a bad back. He was terminated from his long time job for gonig to work drunk. He lost his retirement and insurance. I have to work so I have to leave him by himself. I'm very worried about what is going to happen if I cant figure out how to help him. He doesn't want to go anywhere he wants to die in his home. Can you give me advise on how to keep him home but be able to keep him clean as well?

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Cut off the booze. When he goes into DT's call 911 and let them take him to a hospital, and after that refuse to take him home, tell the Social Worker and the Discharge Coordinator he needs a Nursing Home. Ask about Hospice, too, because he may be a candidate.
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Sorry if some of you disagree. The ugly truth is that alcohol depletes vitamin B1 and the result is Korsakoff syndrome and Wernicke's encephalopathy. Harsh, yes, I agree, but allowing him to continue has worse consequences. Go to alz.org and look it up.
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Yes Pamstegma - that was a bit rough.......and not thought thru..... what's more 'thevirg" did not say that he is still "boozing"... and I happen to think that alcoholism is as much an illness, as cancer...... we just do not know yet how to treat the brain to eliminate addiction-settings in the brain..... we have figured out what chemical in the brain causes Alzheimers ( also in days past one used to think that forgetfulness by the elderly was just bad behaviour)... but we still now think that alcoholism is just bad behavior, when it is really a brain-illness !!!
AND... for 'thevirg" to call 911.... PLEASE understand that since this man has no health-insurance.....calling 911 in our county costs hefty dollars in the neighborhood of $175.-- last time I looked, about 3 years back, just for that transport to the hospital......which has to be paid by the family!!! Then she better call and find out how much it costs to be seen in the ER for someone WITHOUT insurance !!! That will shock her... and possibly throw her into financial difficulties for years....
It might be advisable AND A LOT LESS EXPENSIVE THAN AN ER VISIT to just look online, to find and call SOCIAL SERVICES and keep following their suggestions and see if they can come to the house at a time when she is home..!!!
That visit should be FREE, and will give the Social worker a much better Idea of what needs fixing and suggest or put into action the available services... and again WHAT INSURANCES , LIKE MEDICAID , are available FIRST and BEFORE taking any other actions... !!!
Yet if he is really ill feeling... I am hoping that 'thevirg" can arrange to get some friend or relative to help her get him into the car on a seat covered with depends and some pinned on him, or a Urinal propped in front of him during the trip ...since a Depend can leak, and take him to the ER.. where she can ask for a stretcher or wheelchair...and help ... to get him inside... she should ask the doc or other personnel for a Sodial-worker and request info how to get him on some form of INSURANCE ...or whatever PAYMENT ASSISTANCE format happens to be used in her county?
So the time to take him to the ER should be during business hours, where she can be more assured to have availability to a social worker. ALSO yes she should then indicate that she can no longer care for him... as it is dangerous to just leave him alone....I assume for at least 9=10 hours each working day....!!! .... All bad possibilities have to be considered here !!!
A man in this condition home alone could even accidently start a fire in the kitchen
I do wish 'thevirg" a good and quick and responsible solution that will not end up making her feel like " I wish I had done more and had done it sooner" ... after the worst has happened..!!!!!!
It could also leave her in bankruptcy .... and would NOT get hospice until the house is set up and secure, so no tempting piece of jewelry or little Hummel statue is sitting about to be abducted.... in other words... lock up all valuables securely...
It is not fair to poorly paid aides to have valuables tempting them.... plus at times the patient may break or loose something, for which then the aide gets blamed, as patients are often very forgetful of their actions.
I am wondering how Hospice could be of help anyway... since 'thevirg" is at work all day... I would not hand out keys to the house......They would have to come after she is back home each day..... that would not help during the day.!!!...........
Hospice would be the last agency I would call in this situation.
Well.... lots to consider.!!! I do wish her well !!!
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I agree with Pam. He made his bed so let him lie in it (no pun intended) If he pees in his bed it's his problem. Cut off his booze. If he has no retirement, that means he has no money. My mother in law would drink the rubbing alcohol and my good perfume. Fortunately she wouldn't stay at my home because I deprived her of her booze. She died of an alcohol overdose at age 50 in an apartment that my Ex paid for for her. She used her social security that was paid for her for her minor son to stay liquored up. I cleaned her poop and pee for a short time and I refused to do it anymore. Drying him out is the kindest thing you can do for both of you.
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We solved that problem with my hubby, who has dementia, very nicely. My son-in-law bought him two (and my daughter later another one) Batman, one-piece polyester pajamas. My daughter ran out and bought him a Superman one as well. He cannot possibly reach the zipper down the back in order to pee anywhere but in his well-padded Depends. This is the perfect solution! Ah, life CAN be beautiful!
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Pam-as usual harsh and not thought thru.
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Boy Pam glad you have a thick skin!
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Pam... since this poor soul is bed - or house-bound, how would he get ahold of alcohol ???......
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DHiBe never mind what Pam said and she is one i never care to disagree with. An alcoholic will find a way. As long as he has money and phone acess he may be able to get the liquor store to deliver, seen that done!. Also a favourite grandchild may help grandpa or grandma out, that case it was bottles of milk of Magnesia which for obviouse reasons the daughter confiscated. Where there is a will there is a way.
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sorry...but pamstegma doesn't have the right answers all the time... stats dont deal w/ the real person... call your local ALCOHOLICS ANON. they can lead you in the right direction
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