Taking 1 step forward and 2 steps backward financially, is there any help out there?
Need to keep this short...busy as always. My husband is wonderful but he has a few health issues so can't work as much. Mom lives with us on a limited income, l usually end up paying for a good deal of her meds. She's getting to the point were she acts like its HER house & we are all her kids. I'm 51 and while out with my hubby have been called & told she thought it was time l was coming home! We also have a special needs daughter with us who the state thinks can make it on $400 a month. I am so exhausted because everyone thinks their needs are priority, but l feel for my husband trying to support everyone & feeling exhausted at times also. l would LOVE to get a job to help financialy & to get out of the house some but that's not going to happen, there's no way l could get away. l think we're both burnt out physically. & financialy. Is there ANY help out there were l could get paid for caring for mom (87) or our daughter (29) ? We are sinking fast! Oh... and yes l have a sister in Pa. and a brother in Ga. who l sometimes think forget we exist, lve had mom for about 12 years now with NO financial help and very little moral support from just my sister. Even if my mom would let me have some time to ourselves, we love to ride our motorcycles but she gets all bent outta shape & gives me the cold shoulder and can be mean for days after, sometimes l give in and don't go others l just have to or go insane! I take care of the whole house, cook, clean, run errands & appts...everything! I have a friend that believes she acts this way because she knows my siblings. aren't gonna be there and she's afraid of loosing me on that "dangerous" motorcycle but its an inexpensive activity that my husband & l love so what can l do?!
4 Answers
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Your daughter, like my sister, should be living in a group home and attending a day program. My sis enjoys her independence and living with peers.
If mom is the widow of a wartime veteran, look into help from the VA such as Aid & Attendance or Widow's pension.
Whenever you go out, tell her what time you will be back, and stick to it.
If your Mom qualifies for Medicaid, the State might allow a trained Caregiver from an Agency to come in to help a couple hours a day. Also check to see if your State is one of those States that has a “Cash and Counseling” program to help you out. Note that each State has their own rules, regulations, and programs. Some have waiting lists.
Plus contact your local agency on aging for local programs that might be available to help you and your parent, such as Case Management, Meals on Wheels, Adult Day Care, housing, care referrals, etc, ... if you live in the States, go to the website link below.... click on your State.... now click on the city/county. https://www.agingcare.com/local/Area-Agency-on-Aging
And please come back to the forums if you have any Caregiving questions, we would be more than happy to share our experiences with you, and give you ideas on what to do.
thank you. l thought for a while there l was being put down for wanting to do something with my husband , we've had the bike since 1989 for Petes sake! We need a life also. Its hard to put the last 12 years in a limited text. This is the first time lve considered trying to get help from anyone. l will check into the info you gave me. Thank you
Mother outlived her. We buried my sister on her 70th birthday. Mother is alive and well at the NH.
What are the plans for your mom, if you die prematurely? (My mom is 96. My mother in law is 92.)