If a parent has dementia the child taking care of them can sometimes get financial compensation?

I have been in the same situation for a long time. Since 1995 when dad died, I've taken care of all of mom's needs - doctors visits, shopping, bills, taxes, estate management, etc, even though other siblings were supposed to be doing this. I quit my job, sold my home and moved in with mom in 2012 when she started showing signs of dementia. In 2014, my greedy sister tricked mom into signing a POA naming her, voiding the shared POA mom executed earlier. That stopped the verbal compensation agreement I had with mom and I've been paid absolutely nothing since. I also get a "free room", but that's it - no food included, even though I often have to cook mom's meals or buy take out with my own very limited funds. They now want me to give up half that space, too! At age 55, having not worked for 8 years, my finances are depleted and I have no way to move out. Lesson here: If you do not have a written agreement stating what your compensation will be, you can get into a lot of trouble. Get mom to execute her advanced directives and a POA at the same time, so you have the legal right to do the things you need to do and make sure you get compensated. If you don't, you will end up in the same horrible predicament I'm in -- either from greedy uncaring siblings or the court. And I know how hard and valuable the work you are doing every day is!

Go up to the Search Site box and type in "getting paid" or go to the Money and Legal tab and click on Paying for Care. Depends on your state rules.

Majority of grown children do not get paid for caring for their elderly parent, unless the parent is financially able to pay from their own funds. If a parent can afford to pay you, the parent might as well hire a certified trained caregiver… thus allowing you to keep your job, benefits, and build up for your own retirement.

Otherwise, if you rather Mom pay you, you would need to write up an employment agreement, salary, number of hours, what days you would have off, if Mom would pay for vacation and sick days, pay payroll taxes, etc.

Also check with your local Council on Aging to see what is available for Aides to come to the house for a couple of hours to help give you time for yourself. Caregiver burnout comes quickly, in a matter of months for some. Go to the blue bar near the top of this page, click on "Money & Legal", now click on "Paying for Care" for more information.

From what you said about Mom, with her having dementia, it is only going to get worse, much worse. Wouldn't it be better for her to go into a continuing care facility now while she is still able to make new friends, know the staff, and know her way around the facility? I realize she would probably have to sell the house or rent it out to help pay for the facility. You could have a couple of paid roommates to help with the cost. If Mom goes on Medicaid, Medicaid will put a lien on the house as payment for her care.

Bottom line - get your compensation agreement in writing, have it notarized and file a copy with your mom's estate planning attorney. You should send copies of the executed, notarized agreement to your siblings. They won't succeed in challenging it later, if you do that now. You'll be surprised how quickly your uninterested siblings become when the money is close to being inherited. Greed finds strange company from people you'd never expect it from (and that don't deserve any of it, either).

Thanks for all of your replies. To Zookeeper - I'm sorry about your predicament - shouldn't there still be a way for you to be compensated, regardless of whether you otherwise couldn't move out?. You obviously are doing things for her that she'd otherwise have to pay someone else to do. I sure hope that at least the sib who had POA is also helping you with your mom's care.

I do have POA - my other siblings live in other states and really aren't a problem because they just don't care enough to care what I do or don't do.

FreqFlier: I have certainly thought of having her pay a caregiver; however, she is a rather sour person and would surely drive away the poor person. She would insist she needed no such care.

I have thought of maybe instead of going through the hassle (and it would be with her) of having her even agree to pay me and then remember that she agreed and then have sign something stating she agreed, etc. (every step of the way I'd get pushback)... that I'd just have her pay some of my bills instead, paying for all the groceries, etc. But I think I could run into problems later if she ever had to apply for Medicaid. I have to do something, though, to keep from feeling resentment. She was never a wonderful mom to say the least but now with her dementia that will never be resolved.

The idea of finding a memory care home has crossed my mind as well, but she'd fight that tooth and nail as well.
Thanks again to all who answered. :)

Unfortunately, my sib doesn't help at all, delegates all the POA "work" to her very resentful husband. They got POA only so they could control mom's assets, not her care. I have no legal recourse but to leave mom to their devices. It's horrible and not at all what mom would want, if she had any say in it. Her previous POA named us jointly, but she didn't like that I was getting paid by mom, so she found a way to trick the lawyer and mom into changing it. Both regret it now. Lawyer facing malpractice for it, but that doesn't help mom or me.