Follow
Share

I care for an elderly friend 24/7. We recently had a visit from a medical social worker who had questions about her adult children, among other things. My friend proceeded to tell the SW that her daughter had her mortgage her house and does not pay, my friend does. Part of her medical issues is not having enough money to get medical care. When asked about her son, she told the SW he lives downstairs. He does not pay rent or contribute in any way. This too is costing her a lot in utilities, real estate tax (disqualified from tax relief) and groceries and unpaid various loans. Isn't this SW mandated to report this?
Just wondering if she'll get assistance with this problem, or does she have to come out and file a complaint herself? I know she'd never do that but I do feel she told the SW about this for a reason.

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Report what? The lady is not being abused...she doesn't have good boundaries. If something needs to be done she should do it. I don't see anything here which the government should fix. Why was she visited?
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

No abuse or neglect seems to be happening yet. Nothing to report. Inability to pay for care isn't abuse. It's just bad case management and poor financial planning. Sooner or later this will turn into neglect, but there's not much anyone can do until that happens.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

My mother was in her "right" mind and 97. She became unable to make good decisions due to her inability to see the whole picture. I don't know how to explain this. She would ask me the most basic questions about something. It was like she had lost the ability to think things through, or evaluate the ups and downs of a question. Because she was fully aware of this diminishing capacity she would ask for help. She trusted my brother and me and pretty much did what we said. I didn't take advantage, my brother did. It's called undue influence. There's a point in the decline of aging even if dementia is not readily apparent where the capacity to think critically and act in your own interest, in some instances, diminishes. Not to mention the influence exerted if the person is physically dependent. I agree. At the very least there is undue influence. The mortgage issue is a red flag. If the daughter got the money and Mom's paying the bill, that is crystal clear. Even if mother insisted daughter not pay, the daughter is taking advantage. Deadbeats can take advantage of parents, but elderly people are vulnerable and no longer able to discern or choose to tolerate deadbeats.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

If your elderly friend has dementia and one of her children has power of attorney and is misusing her funds, it MIGHT be financial abuse. If your elderly friend is competent and living by herself with your assistance, it is not the responsibility of the social worker to report her children for being deadbeats or your elderly friend for being willing to fund their lifestyles. In fact, if your friend was being evaluated for Medicaid because one of her problems is that she can't pay for medical care, your friend is giving the social worker reasons that your friend *should* have money available for her care that is being diverted to her children and may be disqualified for "gifting" and penalized in Medicaid's look-back period. Unfortunately, state and federal agencies are not responsible for greedy children if their parents are competent to make their own decisions, even if they are poor ones. If the state does step in and determine that the children are taking advantage and your elderly friend cannot manage her own affairs, the state/social workers may begin proceedings for guardianship and that is a whole different set of problems. It is unfortunate that your friend is being taken advantage of by her children, but your friend is the one who has to set boundaries and say no. That is part of her being independent and in charge of her own affairs.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

I agree with others here. It doesn't sound like abuse, it sounds like lack of boundaries between child(ren) and parent, which has probably been ongoing for quite some time, and that's why it's still happening now. If your elderly friend isn't complaining about it, isn't obviously suffering due to lack of food, heat or shelter, then the government isn't going to do anything about it.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Heartless buncha creeps aren't you. She can't manage her affairs because she IS elderly. Thus the very clear financial abuse. If she lived in a Adult Living Facility and they charged everyone else $400 a month and your Mom $850, wouldn't you call that abusive and exploitative?
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

"Heartless buncha creeps..." ? You joined just so you could call us names, Jangel? Well, welcome aboard. I'm sure you'll go far here with that sort of opening salvo.

We are not heartless, but realistic. Many of us have been caregivers for a very long time, and have experienced quite a bit in terms of dealing with the governmental and local agencies for the elderly. None of them will step into this situation until financial abuse is proven. If no one is able to prove it, or the elderly person isn't complaining about it or asking for help, then there's nothing to be investigated. The OP didn't state that the elderly person in question has dementia or Alz., so we are left to assume that she is still of sound mind. Being elderly does NOT mean you are unable to manage your financial affairs in all cases.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Grace, the APS can certainly investigate the finances. It's possible that mortgage is paying your salary. The son may be paying rent to the sister to help cover your salary. It's also possible the report is totally delusional. It's also possible that when you are not in the room, the old lady says you pee on the floor and hit her with the mop. Dementia can be very odd.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Well thanks for a variety of responses. APS is who told me it was financial abuse and that it is things like this that APS looks for first. As far as my salary goes? I am not paid for this. The medical sw is part of the home health team ordered by the hospital upon discharge.
I was just wondering how the process works is all..thanks
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

If your friend doesn't have dementia, she may have what is termed Mild Cognitive Impairment, which causes an inability to think critically and abstractly, and as one poster said, to see the big picture. I'm glad she's getting help.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter