Is anyone else feeling sad this Christmas?

Can't seem to shake this bout of Christmas sadness. My Dad with Alz sat in front of the tree waiting, for what I don't know. He didn't say much. But not one of my siblings called him to wish him a Merry Christmas. If my Mom were alive this would not have happened. It seems like they just have washed their hands of him. I know that I have to let my expectations of them go......get on with my life. But for now I feel so sad for him. He does not deserve to be forgotten or ignored just because he has Alzheimers. Thanks for listening and your support. Happy New Year!

Hope everyone's new year is better than the last one. Many siblings ignore parents with advanced dementia, saying they wouldn't remember it anyway. These siblings miss out on a lot of memories.

Brin, I too, have a twisted sister. Hang on things will eventually get better. Please don't do anything rash, like take your own life.

With the help of God and my counselor I have avoided taking my life. But I'm tired and spent emotionally and physically. The site is the best help I find now. Thanks all of you loving caregivers. It is nice to know I'm not alone in my pain.

Brin does your mom's poa permit for payment to you for financial and medical management? My Mom's are written up that way and I wonder how much POA TS has paid herself while I am not paid a dime.

At the very least you should bill her estate for your years of care. And I think you would be able to put a care agreement in place if there were a geriatric evaluation by a care manager then negotiation about being paid. You are so fortunate you have the POA's!

Don't know about the permit for payment, but really don't want or need to be paid. Why anger my sibs even more by taking money from the estate. I did it out of love and by the grace of God don't need payment. Thanks for your comments. Yes I am fortunate to be the POA, but with it comes grief from the anger of my sibs. I have and will continue to forgive them.

Brin, I just want to try to understand why these sorts of things happen. In my situation it is completely and utterly baffling! In the beginning sibs wanted to pay me and we were ready to sit down with my Mom's attorney, that developed her trust. When that attorney talked about a dollar amount ts2 got so angry she terminated the attorney, got another one, represented herself to the new attorney as trustee, which she wasn't since she took Mom to financial institutions to change accounts rather than obtain letters from docs as to Mom's incapacity, and her attorney believed her. And off we go. The only thing I can think of is that maybe she is in some sort of financial trouble. Though she owns her house and has been in it for roughly 20 years, and they own at least four rental properties and she and her hubby make decent money. Do they need the inheritance to pay some things off? So, it is preferable for me to lose everything? End up on the streets, homeless? I am not exaggerating! And the amount of money spent on attorneys, my Mom's money, is preferable to paying me all while reducing the inheritance significantly? Just do not get it at all.

And now with a court order almost two months ago to pay me a specific amount and still not been paid a dime! Just do not get it at all! I would also have your grace if I was set financially for retirement, which is nowhere near where I should or could be.

Or is she so angry at Mom's limited guardian, that makes emergency medical and residential decisions and has determined that Mom is to remain at home as long as I provide her care? Anytime during my first two years here sis could have moved Mom any time she wanted and never did. Free care is better for sissies in the long run.

Gladimhere: Not really hard to understand, GREED. Money is the root of all evil. Yes, I thank God every day for financial situation. God guided me to a good husband and we didn't spend more than we made. Angry sibs always wanted champagne on a beer budget, plus alcohol and "recreational drugs" entered the picture. I am so sorry about your situation, praying that all in financial need can find relief. As far as them paying per the court order, FIGHT!! Get whoever you can to help you get what is rightfully yours. Call social services and tell them you are leaving, have a date and do it. Force her to step up to the plate. You should have prosecuted her and the attorney for stealing from your mother. Don't be the sissie, act now. It is never to late. Get on the phone and start making calls to anyone who will listen.

To SusanEB. Thanks for the hug. Love the picture. Take care of yourself and may your year be filled with many new adventures (hopefully good ones), and many blessings.

Its very sad when your husband ignores you

i'm going to set a reminder on my phone to get on here next year a few days before Xmas. This season was a toughie. Dad was in medical rehab recovering from a fall. Benefits ran out around December 12. Home for a week and a half, then hospitalized again due to fluid retention. Came home around the 22nd. Mom and me did our best but so hard on top of everyday things and xmas prep. Sister and brother came home for holidays. Sister big help. Brother not so much. Brother is only one of us 3 that has a child (toddler) so I am trying to be sympathetic but not doing a good job. Dad has surgery Jan 12 to remove a mass in his stomach. so it was like that was LOOMing over all of us. I feel happy today bec the holidays are over for another year. Yay!