my MOTHER moved in with me and my husband barely 6 months after we moved out of her home, finally able to purchase our own home, we were pretty excited, HOWEVER, SHE WAS NOT FEELING THE SAME. having kept all we owned in storage for over a year, and paying half my mothers mtg monthly and living so cramped upstairs while my mother stayed in her master bedroom and bath took its toll, anyway, when she moved in, the idea was to move hervinto a vacant trailer rite next door, she cud have her own space and i cud get to her if needed in under a min.
And rent wud have been under 400 a month.vonly catch was it needed workbut the owners didnt have money for it so her buying supplies and us getting it fixed up wud simply be her not paying them rent until money she spent on restoration was matched. Well she went back and forthover andcover til i told her no one cud start work til she purchased supplies.needless to say, sheclost out on the trailer, and everywhere we look, she cant afford, so here we all are, STUCK with each other, and its not working. My mother gripes consistantly, noses into our buisness, snoops, and is always feeling like she needs to see a doctor, she goes thru spells where she thinks we r stealing her money, andvi can barely leave the house without having to face a lecture and attitude from h*ll. This past june, she got mad cuz me and my husband went out to dinner to have alone time and desert. When i talked toj her about it, she was like, u 2 cud have adked me if i wanted to go,
So again we will add more residents to my home. This past oct. My son was in a tertible car accident that almost took his life, but praise God only his leg got crushed bu that meant a long hospital stay, surgery, and lots of doc visits, then therapy. So one day we r at hospital with my only son, we r leaving, his surgery a success, my mother calls, literally yelling at me asking where am i and informs me she has sat there all day, alone, and i needed to get home and when i ask is some wrong, she hangs up on me.
I dont know if im explaining very well, but bottom line is every day, my 1st thought is always wondering how she will be today, i have zero privacy and get no respect regarding anything. She nags at me for everything, my husband, my son, his girlfriend, my sister, neice,neighbor, i'so done, i cannot stand how she has made me feel and act toward her, iv been her advocate for years, no, i just want her out my house. I cud never turn my back on my mothet completely, i am not designed like that, i just want to get my mother in a
nice assisted living facility and help her thrive like she should, not picking me apart to fit what she feels her lifestyle should be at my cost, i have no help, my family disentigrated after my father passed away in 2011. I WILL READ ANYONES INPUT OR ADVICE, my life quality and my mothers is so importantto me, i have got to figure this out...HELP!?
Her response will likely be anger because leaving causes fear of change. She probably also has the belief that you owe her security and happiness, no matter the cost. Many mothers that are our parents' age feel that their children owe them because they gave birth to them. If your mother feels this way, it is going to be up to you to get her out the door. Of course, she won't want to leave. She's got everything she needs right there and she is doing what she can to keep it. She could have moved numerous times if she had wanted to. You'll have to want her to move enough to help her get out that door. The first thing I would do in your shoes is have that talk, then locate an apartment for her.
When you go on a date with your husband, do not answer the phone if it's her. She can call 911 for a true emergency just the same as she can dial your cell phone number. Don't allow this situation to derail your marriage as well. That would be a huge mistake. Your alone time with him isn't optional and quite frankly isn't any of her business. Draw that line with her and stick to it. There will be moments where you'll absolutely need to put your needs before your mothers. Don't be guilted into doing otherwise or your mental health will really suffer.