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I am also relieved to have my life back. I hadn't seen my friends in months or been able to make any plans because Dad always needed something and refused outside help. My emotional and physical health were suffering. But I feel guilty at being relieved right now. Yes, I miss him of course, but I know he is back with my mom. I have been just relaxing for the past few days and catching up on sleep and me time, something I hadn't done in months. I now understand why people have to go to nursing homes, and have no idea how someone can be a sole caregiver for an elderly parent for years.

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So hard, it's that giant vacuum feeling, The Nothing, the waking up and thinking you have to take care of.... check on.... ask him if....
So I talk to Dad in my head. He always answers and often disagrees. If I screw up, I definitely hear a correction.... LOL.... I'm baking his favorite xmas cookies and I will say "this one's yours!" and pop it in my mouth. :-)
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Sincere condolences for your loss. No reason to feel guilty, you did what you had to do to take care of your Dad and that can be very difficult. It is hard work!

Time to take care of you and regain your life. That is what Dad would want for his loving and caring daughter!
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