Mom is 88, has mobility issues, and lives with us in our old Victorian- only a very small half bath on the first floor where she stays. The dining room is her bedroom, and she had a bedside commode for nighttime. For the past year or so we’ve had “code browns,” increasing in frequency, to about one a week or so. They always happen in the bathroom, which is TINY, and the e both can’t fit in there. It necessitates cleaning her a bit, getting her to the commode, cleaning her up, then cleaning the bathroom, and usually the carpet between the bathroom and the dining room. I clean her up but it’s really difficult- she’s obese, can’t move much, and is really not pleasant to deal with. Nonetheless, I am happy to do it. However, I work from home 3 days a week, but two days a week I’m in the office, a half hour away. I’m PETRIFIED she’ll have one of these situations when I’m at work, and she’s stuck on the toilet. She’s resistant about speaking with the doctor, but is there anything we can do? She always wears Depends, as she’s also urine incontinent. Is there a medication? What do you do to cope? I’m trapped.
When this started, do you remember there being any changes to her meds or her diet? Meds can sometimes cause diarrhea so I'd check with her doctor about this problem and see if they have any advice. If it's not diarrhea but just not making it to the toilet in time, there may be a med that could help with that too, but I don't know. My mom has developed an intolerance to non-fermented dairy, like ice cream, and will spend HOURS in and out of the bathroom.
Of course you are at the end of your rope. You can't honestly be happy to deal with cleaning up this hazmat situation on a regular basis. It's just too gross on so many levels.
When you're not able to be home, I would definitely hire someone (that she pays for) to stay with her just in case. Plus they can do so many things with her that don't involve dealing with blowouts. The aides I have for my mom are so helpful and get her to do so many things that I have NO luck with. Like exercising which I think your mom could also benefit from. If her mobility improved, it could only improve this situation or her general health, etc.
If you are truly at the end of your rope, I would look into placing her somewhere. This is just too much for one person to deal with. I would also have your mom pay for a weekly cleaning crew to come over and give the house a deep clean and disinfecting treatment. E-coli is nothing to take lightly.
Being 'resistant' to speaking with her doctor is not acceptable; if she wants to continue living with you and having you dealing with such a situation, then it's up to her TO speak to the doctor about getting this matter dealt with. And perhaps losing some weight with a controlled diet which you can enforce by not bringing junk food into the house or serving her high calorie meals. If she loses weight, she'll have an easier time moving around at least, making it easier on you to help her. I don't know that the 'fecal incontinence' issue will resolve, but it might, especially if she's eating less and dealing with less fecal volume may boil down to less blow outs. A simpler, blander diet may also calm her GI tract down leading to less explosive BM incidents, that is what sounds reasonable to me.
If I were you, I'd look into Assisted Living for your mother or at least in home caregivers to look after her while you're at work outside of the home. It's entirely possible she CAN get stuck on the toilet with you gone and then what? If she has no access to a cell phone to call 911, she'd have to wait for you to get home and help her up. I wonder why, however, she'd be stuck on the toilet? Is she unable to get up from it alone, by herself?? All in all, you've got a pretty unmanageable situation going on in your old Victorian home with your mother right now! It's not set up properly and she'd be better off in managed care with a team of people caring for her. You're not really 'trapped'.......there are alternatives you should explore for her care outside of your home. In order to cope with this situation in the meantime, I'd speak to her doctor, get her on a bland, low calorie diet regimen, and look into hiring (on her dime) in home caregivers to stay with her while you're at work. She's probably a fall risk too, I'm sure (if she's unable to get herself up from the toilet), which is another reason why leaving her alone isn't a good idea. As far as 'medication' is concerned, aside from a binding drug like Immodium to stop diarrhea, I don't know what she could be given to stop 'code browns' because I'm not even sure what they are!
Best of luck to you finding a workable solution to this entire situation.
Is your mom "managing" her own medications? We found that my mom was taking both laxatives and immodium and her whole system was terribly messed up. She ended up in the hospital and they got it sorted.
You talk to the doctor if she won't.
I did just that.
I reasoned that if I was involved in clean up, I could bring the topic to the Doctor's attention.
It may be Mom's business - but is now OP's business too!
I've had the small bathroom issue on my last position. The client was incontinent and did not go upstairs anymore. She stayed downstairs and there was a little half-bath. There's no way to clean someone up in an area that small. You cannot clean a person up on a portable bedside commode either when there's a real mess and she had serious mobility and balance issues.
She was incontinent anyway and would just start going. No one was available who would hold her steady on a toilet and hope for the best. I always refused to hold a client upright on the toilet. At that point they need to be diapers.
So, I put my client in diapers. She was against it but it was the only way. There was no choice for her. It was diapers or placement. The clean-up was easy enough because she had a hospital bed in the living room that I could clean her up on.
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They found that getting mom on a daily probiotic cleared the issue up. So that would be my 1st step. They used kombucha drink but, you can use a pill or fermented food.
We eat kimchi, fresh sauerkraut, use apple cider vinegar, fresh refridgerated miso soup and take a daily pill, obviously, not all everyday, just options to keep things interesting for the palate.
I would have her start using the bedside commode for BMs. You can clean that so much easier then a trailing mess.
Keep some water and some of the toilet chemicals used for RV toilets in the commode, this will keep the odor under control. They are expensive but, you only use a tiny bit.
If possible, I would suggest removing the vanity (and replacing with corner sink), replacing the toliet with a higher seat elongated model with a bidet seat with heated water. It may make just enough room to be able to clean your mom easier. You might want to use a narrow bookcase outside the bath to store towels and other supplies.
You may want to keep a food and medication diary to see if any foods and medicines are associated with the problems; sometimes a combination or the timing of when a medicine is taken together with a food consumed just before or after can cause issues.
An ALF is not the only solution.
A shower is needed in bathroom. If not, maybe the bidet would help. Also washable surfaces around bed, placed nearer to bath entry.
Diet research also. Good luck!
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Isn't it time to consider placing her in a facility? Just because you're her only family left doesn't mean you have to give up your life for her.
Good luck old age and the life of one's caretakers is not easy.
For urinary incontinence I found that lining and adult diper with a trimmed down baby diaper (like Pampers, Huggies, etc...) was like a miracle. It stays dry and there is no leaks. Even overnight.
If she's incontinent there's not a whole lot that can be done for that except to try to prevent skin breadown and protect your furniture and rugs.
I was in homecare for a long time. Incontinence is always one of the main reasons why a family places an elder in managed care. It's something to consider.
On amazon............give it a read.
In a facility they have a team of caregivers and equipment to assist in toileting and clean-up.
You need to think of your health also. It is probably not healthy to be exposed to these messes on a continual basis.
Speaking as a person who had to clean up HORRIBLE messes I was not happy to do this.
The Psychiatrist can help you with issues of denial and acceptance of. the cycle of life. Suggest you call the care advisor here or call, "A Place for Mom."
Hiring caregivers to help out on the days you are not home would help you.
Removing carpet where you can. If her room is carpeted remove carpet in her room (aka dining room)
I'm a retired RN and abhor code browns, have dealt with far too many in my time. Your situation sounds awful.
If the loose stool is the result of bowel disease, you may find a specialist who could provide methods or meds to decrease the bowel motility. Perhaps it's IBS and some meds can help. Also might look into possible food allergies as causing this and I think that good probiotics are always an aid.
You may look into the stool consistency and determine if she needs digestive aids, like if she's not digesting fats and this is causing the explosions.
If she's been on antibiotics of late, maybe have her checked for C Diff which causes explosive, foul swelling stools.
Gawd, way too many code browns in my time as an RN!
Ultimately, if you can't get this under control, you'll either have to remodel to accommodate this, have her placed in a facility that is well equipped to handle fecal incontinence, or face having your lower floor utterly destroyed by feces that non one, no matter how careful, can clean thoroughly enough.
I wish you luck!