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I'm so embarrassed. My 86yo father lives in an ALH & today we got a call about him playing with his private parts. He's already on medication for this matter. Now his ALH wants to move him to another of their ALH homes, which we're alright with, however I'd like to know what others have done in this situation??? The worst part is he does this while sitting in the living room watching TV, where everyone can see!!! I'm beyond mortified. We will speak with his doctor on Monday to see if his meds can be increased. Thanks

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This is typical behavior for an elder suffering from advanced dementia. Our rules of normalcy do not apply to these elders who have lost their filter and inhibitions.

Dad can be dressed in men's anti strip Alzheimer's clothing available on Amazon which will not allow him access to his genitals. I'm surprised the AL did not suggest this to you. Ridiculous what these facilities do NOT know!

https://www.amazon.com/s?k=mens+dementia+anti+strip+clothing&crid=1JDZJAEVHEFG3&sprefix=Mens+anti+strip+%2Caps%2C367&ref=nb_sb_ss_p13n-expert-pd-ops-ranker_3_16

Best of luck to you.
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SuzieW527 Oct 4, 2025
many thanks Lealonnie1. We will definitely look into this.
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How distressing, Suzy. The disease can be so cruel in so many ways. Thinking of you.
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SuzieW527 Oct 6, 2025
tysm snoopylove means a lot to me!!!!
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...boys play with their toys
My Husband did this as well. I called it "repositioning himself".
Now my Husband was at home so no t a big deal. I can see where this might be a problem in a facility.
I always had a lap blanket over my Husband. Not that he exposed himself but just to give him a bit more concealment.
Does your dad have a lap blanket that can be placed on his lap? This might solve some of the problem.
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SuzieW527 Oct 6, 2025
Hi Grandma1954. Sadly he doesn't have a lap blanket & I'm not sure he'd use it. He was horrified when my husband spoke to him about his behavior, yet we all know he won't remember so it's done deal. He's being moved to a new facility run by the same owners (has 2 men & 2 workers whom are also male). Thank you again for your helpful words.
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Agree that anti-strip clothing is the solution, before taking the step to relocate him.

Also, does this perhaps signal that he really needs MC level care now?

And, how does this facility not know about anti-strip clothing? They don't seem to be good problem solvers for their clients... I'd be disappointed and question them on this.
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SuzieW527 Oct 6, 2025
ty Geaton777. They did not mention anti strip clothing to us, so I have no idea if they know about it or not. I will mention it to them later today. Not sure my father would wear anti strip clothing. Also this ALH is filled with all women so it's highly uncomfortable for everyone as he sits in the main living room for all to see. Thank you again for your helpful words.
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Your speaking with his doctor is the correct move. He also now requires an exam to see if he has some sort of irritation such as fungal infection in the area that is causing preoccupation, possibly an itch or irritation.
Clearly the time he can be at Assisted Living is gone; he is unable to understand now the inappropriateness of his behavior and requires either nursing home or memory care.
There is utterly no need for embarrassment here. This is nothing your father is purposely and with malice aforethought doing. He cannot any longer fully control his actions. This is something staff and members of any facility will in no way find shocking.
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SuzieW527 Oct 6, 2025
Ty AlvaDeer. Yes we will speak with his doctor as this type of behavior has happened in the past. Not due to fungal infection. Sadly the ALH has had one worker quit due to his behavior (this is common in CA) so we have no other option but to remove him from this home & relocate to another also manage by same couple. Also his current ALH is filled with all women & the new one has 2 men & 2 workers whom are men as well. So we will see how it goes. Hopefully it goes well as we cannot afford to move him anywhere else. Thank you/ appreciate your help words.
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