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The doctor released him to go home. And now she won’t let me visit but just twice a week at one hour visits. How do I fight this? My father is so sad because of this situation and can’t come home!!

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Carney, if your Dad is in an Assisted Living/Memory Center, he's there for a very good reason. It now takes a village to take care of him. With Alzheimer's/Dementia, the situation with memory only gets worse, not better.

I am surprised that a Doctor would release your Dad to go home, or is this something your Dad told you? With memory issues, it is common for the patient to make up stories to get attention. Plus when a person says "they want to go home", usually they mean their childhood home, where life was much easier when they were a child.

Now, if your Dad does "go home", will you be his primary caregiver? He will need 24 hour care, thus you would be doing the work of 3 full-time caregivers each and every day. Is your house fixed with grab-bars in the bathroom, and other things that one usually finds in a Memory Care center?  It takes a lot of planning, updating, patience, and energy.
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If he's competent, Dad can change the Power of Attorney to you and you can assist him in the move to his home. Of course, at that point, you will be responsible for all of the matters pertaining to his care and your sister will be off the hook.....
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Most of the Memory Care units that I have seen, require that a doctor confirm that it is needed. The resident may be healed in their body, but, not the mind. And dementia is not really reversible, most of the time. So, I'm not sure how he would qualify for Memory Care and then be mentally sound to leave.

Have you ever provided around the clock care for someone with dementia? It's often quite a bit more involved, than most people think. So, when I hear that someone thinks it's quite simple, I'm concerned. I'd also consider the reality of care as it progresses and mobility is a major issue. I might listen to sister's reasons for her decision. Maybe, she is aware of some things that you are not.
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Freqflyer yes my father was released from his doctor and yes my dear I was at the appointment. My sister has said no, why, she might have to do something. She’s very lazy. She doesn’t have to lift her finger. No he doesn’t really need help with much. He gets up dresses or showers all by himself. He shaves grooms himself without help. He carries an intelligent conversation with me and my husband. Honey I want full responsability for him NO I’m not the only one doing it. Yes I will hire help plus my husband will be there. I will be living with him at his house all rooms on one floor. No stairs I’m not stupid here... this won’t be a piece of cake. I do have common sense to do the right thing. Yes I know it will be work. Yes I’m prepared for it. NO my dad isn’t just saying he can go home. I think I covered all your questions.
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If your father is not legally declared incompetent, then it is he who gets to decide who can visit him, and how often. That is not up to his POA. He can also decide where he wants to live (within his means). The care facility should be aware of that. It might help if his doctor wrote a letter to them declaring that he does not need memory care and that he is not incompetent to make his own decisions. I wonder if it isn't just easier for a facility to say, "Oh she has POA, let her make decisions" than for them to respect the legal limits of POA authority. Unless your father has been declared incompetent by a court, the facility should not be enforcing your sister's decisions.

If Dad is mentally competent to make decisions, he can also decide that he wants you for financial and health care POA.

I know a man with dementia who called his doctor and declared that he did not belong in the memory care unit, and there was no one he could have a decent conversation with. Just the fact that he made it all the way through the lengthy phone menu and made it through to the doctor was pretty impressive in itself. The doctor OK'd him for regular Assisted Living, where he remained the rest of his life. So, yes, sometimes a decision that a patient needs memory care is later reversed by a doctor.

I'm not addressing the issue of what would be best for your father. But in terms of who can make decisions for him, I do not understand why your sister has that authority at this time.
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If the doctor found him competent to make his own decisions then I'm confused as to how she can prevent you from visiting or him from leaving, or did he (doctor) just advise that he is physically fit enough not to need nursing care?
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Carney: I'm curious as to how your dad ended up in AL Memory Care in the first place? He can clean and dress by himself, and carry on a conversation with other people. That's quite impressive. Why was he placed in ALMC?
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OK have you even had full responsibility for him before? There must be a valid reason that he is there or the doctor would have signed release papers, of course with the understanding that he probably needs full time care. Believe me if you have not spent a few days with him where he is now to see how he is all day do not judge. Their moods and needs can change in a heartbeat.
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It sounds like you will have to hire an attorney to fight this out.
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It is sad to see how family members use the person who needs care as pawns in their fights with each other. I have the same problem, but not to the extent of the original poster and her sister. When my husband was still in assisted living for respite care, I told everyone (close and distant relatives) that no one would be barred from writing to him and/or visiting him. The only request I made was that the visit should be coordinated (yes, I used the word "coordinate") with me so that their visit wouldn't be in vain. I often took my husband out for meals and appointments, so it would behoove them to check in with me to see if we already had plans that day. Everyone agreed, except one of his sisters who has never been warm to my long marriage to my husband. Civil is the best word I can describe her treatment of me. Anyway, she showed up once before I got there to take my husband to an appointment. I was surprised and reminded her to coordinate with me. Her reply was that he was her sister and she didn't feel the need to tell me. This is the woman who lives 3 hrs away. I told her that it would be wise to work with me because if I had shown up 1 hr earlier, her visit would have been a waste. Well, she did it again the following week and she called the facility instead of me to find out his schedule. She also wanted to take him out. Fortunately, I didn't put her name on the list of people who could take him out. She was furious. I then told her that if I had known she was coming, I'd put her on the list. She is not talking to me now. Good riddance.

Now that my husband is home, I don't know what I would do if she wanted to come for a visit. She would be on my turf and I probably need to set some ground rules. If she doesn't want to abide by them, she can stand out in the cold all she wants. I cannot stand disrespect.

The point is: Why do family members do this? Instead of anger and hatred, why not direct that energy to loving the one who is ill. I just don't get it.
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