My father's wife (my stepmother) died a few months ago and I became his POA and long-distance caregiver overnight, and have spent more than 4 months of the first year of my marriage with my dad and away from my husband to help him out. I just took him for neuropsych testing for his memory and he has dementia and probable Alzheimer's. During the day, my dad sits and stews on bad decisions he made, the past, and other dark thoughts. He makes comments to say he is redundant, should slit his throat, etc. I can't handle it! He needs me to cheer him up constantly and reassure him he is loved and needed but frankly, I am so depressed and overwhelmed myself that I don't have the inner reserves to always be his rock. Meanwhile my life, husband and career are all on hold as I try to help him. I have never been an angry person but have become at times rageful. He and I have always been close but this is too much for me. My husband is pressuring me to put my father in a "home" but I have been trying to keep him in his house by cobbling together a care plan. No matter what I do he does not seem happy. I can't wait to go back home but I have guilt and fear of leaving others to take care of him. Any words of wisdom? I am only 40 as my father was almost 50 when I was born so none of my friends are dealing with something like this.