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How do I go about getting help for my dad who is not eating healthy, not taking care of himself (bathing, taking meds). He has been to an emergency room and they say he needs mental help in a mental hospital.

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Reading what you’ve written in your profile, I respectfully offer the opinion that your father is severely mentally ill, which you already know. Perhaps you are seeking validation that he is not safe living on his own. He is harassing family members and traveling on his own, which he should not be doing. If the staff at the ER (why was he there?) said he needs to be in a mental hospital, why was he not admitted? They obviously thought he was not competent so if he refused admission, his refusal didn’t count. He is what we call a “loose cannon” and as his mental state deteriorates, he may begin attacking more than just his family. People who are bi-polar who are not on their meds have been known to do so.

Since you are the only one who has contact with him, it unfortunately falls to you to get him help and keep him (and others) safe. If he has a regular doctor, start with him/her. Tell them what happened at the ER and ask them for a referral to a mental health facility. Many hospitals have e mental health floors and the ER should have sent Dad right to that floor.

Failing that, call Adult Protective Services and report an adult at risk. Explain Dad has mental issues and cannot take care of himself and you fear for his safety. If he tends to take off without your knowledge, are you certain the next time he leaves on a trip you will know where he went? And, if he is driving, how will you feel if he injures or kills someone on the road?
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Bipolardad741 Mar 2019
There is much more to this incident. Actually the first emergency room DID send him to a mental health facility where they kept him 6 days which is not long enough for meds to really kick in, especially since he is barely eating and drinking. He HAS lost 40 lbs. The mental hospital discharged him and I took him home. Ended up back in the emergency room (the local one) because he couldn’t/wouldn’t eat. They recommended a gastro doctor. And At this point he has had every test gastrointestinal. Nothing is causing him not to be able to eat. The three gastro doctors on his case said it was psychological. If ICU can’t make him eat (that is where he is now), who can? Is he going to die from not eating or will he decide to eat? They are currently have him on a waiting list for mental hospital again. I just don’t know what to do. Where does someone go for this type of behavior? A nursing home? I don’t have POA and I am at my wits end.
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I will assume here that you have no POA to make decisions for Dad. Need to tell the SW or discharge nurse this. It is up to them now. They should not discharge a person who is in danger to themselves or others. Tell the SW that you have no authority to make decisions. They are going to have to maybe get a temporary guardian thru the courts to make decisions for him. Do not take him to your home. This is something professionals need to deal with.
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Ahmijoy Mar 2019
I’m not sure, but I don’t think Dad is currently hospitalized. I think he’s living on his own, not taking care of himself and taking off on interstate wild goose chases to harass his family when the mood hits him.
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Refuse to bring him home if/when he is discharged. You cannot care for him at home and you have no legal rights over his affairs without POA or guardianship. Just tell the hospital you are unable to care for him. They will try every tactic to get you to bring him home. Refuse. You have no power over his affairs. Bringing him to your home, or if he lives on his own, taking him to his home would be disasterous. If you do this, you seriously will have no one to blame for the stress but yourself.
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