For the past few years my FIL has seemed less and less independent when we visit--and sometimes quirky. Advice?

I am worried about my inlaws. Sometimes it's worse than others, and it seemed to get better for a while, but it's always been there and I think it may progressively be getting worse. It's been subtle things...like my MIL would make his food for him or take water to him. Sometimes he says weird things that are off the wall (like yelling at a party that he doesn't want to watch a hunting video), and often he seems grumpy. My MIL told me recently he had hallucinations after a minor surgery, he took her medication with his, and they spent the night in an ER. Apparently this has happened before. The other day she told me he only eats once a day. That's really weird for him. My FIL is a *foodie* who has always enjoyed his meals (in the plural sense).

I badger my husband to talk to his mom. He claims he does, but while they do *talk* they don't talk about this very much. I opened up to my MIL that we need to sit down at talk about what their needs are as they get older. Both she and my husband thanked me for this (this is something my husband keeps claiming he brings up--but I don't think he really does). It was like they were relieved not to have to bring it up to one another.

So it kind of seems like I need to be the one to bring up these issues going down with my FIL. How do I approach it? I'm so worried about offending or even worse that I may be totally wrong that something is up (or my MIL continues to try to hide it). I'm so very worried about them and also if something big goes down it will impact us directly. My husband is an only and we live out of state.

I'm at my wit's end. My grandmother died of a stroke being a caretaker to my grandfather who had Alzheimers. I don't ever want this to happen to anyone else I love, but being the DIL I'm a little nervous about how to approach this without being invasive. Would truly appreciate input/advice. Thank you!