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Hmmm. Is he a narcissist? Look up NPD. And if he is, get the hell out fast and do not ever return, even if he "seems" nice later.
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Michael,

You are very young to be handling something like this. Your heart is huge but you are lacking in some of the toughening experiences that the rest of us here have had. You need to employ some tough love right now.

You wrote: but I'm afraid the same thing will happen where I'm never home because we have to constantly leave work and home to check on him.

Everyone on this site will tell you the same thing: stop checking on him!!!!!!! He has you in a half-Nelson. He complains, you try to help, he criticizes you. He will NEVER STOP, NEVER BECOME POSITIVE OR GRATEFUL. He is a self-pitying, drug-addicted loser. It is done. It is what it is. The only way to handle people like that is to detach with love. Tell him that you and your fiancee will come by once a week to bring groceries or whatever. AND THAT IS IT. NO MORE.

You have a small child who needs you, your time, your best thinking. Focus on your child and your fiancee, and, of course, your new job. A PERSON YOUR AGE SHOULD NOT/CANNOT FOCUS ON MORE THAN THAT.

Get the job and get out. Good luck and stay in touch. Let us know how it is going.
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As I said, the job was lost about 4 days ago and I already have a start date at a new one; and he knows this. We've tried getting an apartment but for whatever reason can never get approved. We plan to move out with our taxes but I'm afraid the same thing will happen where I'm never home because we have to constantly leave work and home to check on him. My daughter is on ssi, passport healthcare and goes to a specialized daycare paid for by said healthcare.
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Get a job. Get an apartment. MOVE. And PLEASE don't "yes, but". Take advantage of any government assistance your child is entitled to and start building a life for your family. That's what a real man does.
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