FIL is changing his Depends constantly. He claims he cannot tell if he's wet or not. Any tricks or ideas?

Depending on how much of a need he has for absorption, you might try incontinence underpants. Google "incontinence underpants for men." Check prices. Some are only about $13/pair. We have six pairs for my mother and can wash them. For him, if they are not used when he takes them off, you can just return them to the stack and he can change at will! My mother needs disposable pads inside them as well, but she does not always need to change the pants. She can tell the difference and is not compulsive, but it still saves us lots of money and washing of clothes that would otherwise be wet or dirtied.

First, I would put the supply of depends away where he can't get at them and I would give them to him as they are actually needed. Secondly, I would toilet him on a regular schedule, every 2 hours for example, wether he has to go or not.

Just trying to help, but you know those little things that you stick into a plant to know if it's dry or need to be watered? Maybe they make some thing like that you could apply to the pants and if it's changed color you'd (he) would know to change it or not.Sorry if this sound "stupid", but I always try to think out of the box, so to speak.

Tell him to have you double-check to see if he is wet. You can do it from the back if there are modesty issues. Don't make a big deal about it. If he removes a dry one, just put it back in a plastic zip-lock bag for further use. He hasn't soiled it, so it is reusable. Then he is not looking, put them back in his package.

Loss of sensation is a serious issue and should be discussed with his MD. On the other hand, it could be obsessive behavior than can be treated with meds. Decide which it is and see the MD soon.

The incontenence itself is not the problem. He has one kidney, prostrate cancer and multiple hernias. All his physicians are fully aware of the issues around his urinary incontenence (urologist, geriatric who is his primary, his neurologist and movement disorder doc). I think between the different compulsive behaviors, his misfiring mind and absolute fear of smelling bad he's "elder gone mad" with changing his depends. For a while it was his socks he was changing every couple of hours. This compulsion has more of an impact on our budget, which as you know, is difficult caring for our elders every need. Just looking for suggestions short of going to the potty with him every hour to check on things. It may just be we let it go for now and see if he moves onto something else sooner than later.

Depends can feel "sweaty" even if there is no urine, that sensation could be bothering him/ triggering his need to get into a dry pair.

Dementia is a horrible thing as you are finding out. It will be your biggest challenge in life to date. It makes no sense most of the time. The answers may change daily. So be prepared as best you can. They do sell jump suits for Dementia patients that would prevent them from taking clothes off. That happens too. Good luck with your FIL.

Keep in mind, his prostate cancer might be pressing on him and making him feel like he has to urinate. My dad is always trying to poop because his tumor is large (he is almost 94 and fragile so no treatment)

I emailed Tena (mom liked them best) and Depends to have color change diapers and pads like they do for kids. Please join in and let them know the need.

Maybe there is a way to use strips of tissue to see if the pad is wet or dry (like gift wrapping, cut into strips). I used to get up and feel the diaper to try to convince Dad he needed to change. He uses tena pads inside the depends. Sometimes I have to cut the depends diaper on the side and take them off. His MD told him to let me clean and cream his butt each night. It seems to work, he is cooperating mostly. Also, there are diapers that have tape on the sides, don't fit very well, but will do if person has pants on when you cut off the soiled diaper.
Remember to email.

The adult diapers I used with the Colonel in his final weeks had moisture indicator stripes on them. So some products do. I think the idea of extra pads inside the Depends sounds good.