MJHowry, this is just such a sad and difficult time watching your father come to the end of his life. If you are taking him home it will be too much for one person to manage alone especially as it really won't be safe to leave him alone. Hospice would be my solution because this is the kind of end stage disease they deal with all the time. If you are not comfortable with hospice make sure you have plenty of help from family, friends and if necessary paid caregivers. With the fluid build up he will also certainly have some in his lungs which will make breathing difficult and frightening for him and those around which is one of the reasons I recommend hospice. Do not be afraid of giving morphine. It is not given to kill someone or shorten their life. It eases the discomfort of not being able to breath. It will probably make him drowsy but that would be a comfort at this time. His time on earth will probably be quite short so try and spend the time just loving him. By all means offer him food and drink but don't try and force anything, just try and keep his mouth moist. He can be in bed or up in a chair whatever is most comfortable for him. A recliner is often the most comfortable place to sit and sleep. Medications are no longer important so again don't worry if he refuses. Keep him safe but respect his wishes it is no longer necessary to do things that are good for him. Let other family members know how sick he is so they may have a chance to visit. It is also OK to have young children visit just for a few minutes if that is what he & they want. If Dad has religious beliefs or even if he doesn't offer to contact a minister to visit. It is so sad and worrying and you feel so helpless so just follow his lead. Blessings for you and Dad.
I'm so sorry to hear about your dad's condition. I know its also hard on you too. You love him so much and want to help him. Its only normal to be nervous and scared at this time.
If the doctor thinks he has less than 6 months, are they able to help coordinate hospice care for him? Or have a nurse check on him at home? They should be helping the family arrange comfort care. I'm so sorry, I know this is hard on you.
I didn't know this, but my dad was also suffering from heart failure. His feet had been swollen since the summer, but I didn't know what was happening. A month and half before his passing, he was in the hospital for a heart attack. They also gave him water pills. But I think it made it worse. Because he was not eating very much. I think his potassium was getting too low. And he had another heart attack a month later. The doctor had also told us he had 6 months to one year, but he died 2 days later.
I'm so sorry. I hope you can surround yourself with loving friends and family. And give your dad all the support you can. Please don't wait like me and tell your dad everything you need to.
I'm very sorry to hear that your father is so seriously ill. Sadly, his multiple health problems seem to have got to the stage where there is nothing more his doctors can do apart from make him comfortable. Don't hesitate to speak up if your father seems to be getting distressed or frightened because there are drugs that will help those symptoms. I hope things go gently for him and your family.
I'm sorry you find yourself in this situation. My father had many of the same chronic illnesses, and we lost him 2 weeks ago. COPD, CHF, Diabetes, and Kidney disease. He was doing "OK" when he fell and it was determined he had a UTI. We rushed to the hospital. He went in on Monday and he was gone Friday. It seemed like everything just started shutting down. Suddenly, he couldn't swallow, and they advised us he had aspiration pneumonia. They then told us his liver was failing, and he had developed sepsis. Dads health directive specified no feeding tubes or heroic measures. I've known him for 61 years and miss him so.
He is being discharged from hospital, but where is he going now, hopefully to a nursing home or a hospice facility? Have you brought in hospice? I definitely feel you need someone supportive there to guide you through this. ((hugs))
MJHowrey, Hang in there! Hospice is wonderful. Your story is so similar to ours. My mother has CHF and kidney failure. She was discharged from the hospital on 5/24/16. We were told she had less than 6 months and they could not do anything for her, so we brought her home with hospice. We have a wonderful nurse who takes such good care of her. She tweaked all her meds, and she has lost 30 lbs all fluid! She is on a gradual decline, but still with us 9 months later. I have worked in the medical field (administrative), for over 20 years, and I hate to say I feel her doctors gave up on her. Between her primary care, cardiologist, nephrologist, and the hospitalist, nobody could agree. Hospice came in, to make her comfortable and was much more aggressive than her medical doctors. My mother is not ready to give up on her fight. She is 92 years old. Every patient is different, but Hospice has been a God send for us. I wish the best for you and your Dad.
MJHowrey (((((((hugs))))) it does sound like there is nothing more they can do except keep him comfortable. Do you have hospice for him? They can help. I am so sorry you are facing this. I hope he is not in much distress. Kepp us updated.
MJHowrey, Hang in there! Hospice is wonderful. Your story is so similar to ours. My mother has CHF and kidney failure. She was discharged from the hospital on 5/24/16. We were told she had less than 6 months and they could not do anything for her, so we brought her home with hospice. We have a wonderful nurse who takes such good care of her. She tweaked all her meds, and she has lost 30 lbs all fluid! She is on a gradual decline, but still with us 9 months later. I have worked in the medical field (administrative), for over 20 years, and I hate to say I feel her doctors gave up on her. Between her primary care, cardiologist, nephrologist, and the hospitalist, nobody could agree. Hospice came in, to make her comfortable and was much more aggressive than her medical doctors. My mother is not ready to give up on her fight. She is 92 years old. Every patient is different, but Hospice has been a God send for us. I wish the best for you and your Dad.
With the fluid build up he will also certainly have some in his lungs which will make breathing difficult and frightening for him and those around which is one of the reasons I recommend hospice. Do not be afraid of giving morphine. It is not given to kill someone or shorten their life. It eases the discomfort of not being able to breath. It will probably make him drowsy but that would be a comfort at this time.
His time on earth will probably be quite short so try and spend the time just loving him. By all means offer him food and drink but don't try and force anything, just try and keep his mouth moist. He can be in bed or up in a chair whatever is most comfortable for him. A recliner is often the most comfortable place to sit and sleep. Medications are no longer important so again don't worry if he refuses. Keep him safe but respect his wishes it is no longer necessary to do things that are good for him. Let other family members know how sick he is so they may have a chance to visit. It is also OK to have young children visit just for a few minutes if that is what he & they want. If Dad has religious beliefs or even if he doesn't offer to contact a minister to visit. It is so sad and worrying and you feel so helpless so just follow his lead. Blessings for you and Dad.
I'm so sorry to hear about your dad's condition. I know its also hard on you too. You love him so much and want to help him. Its only normal to be nervous and scared at this time.
If the doctor thinks he has less than 6 months, are they able to help coordinate hospice care for him? Or have a nurse check on him at home? They should be helping the family arrange comfort care. I'm so sorry, I know this is hard on you.
I didn't know this, but my dad was also suffering from heart failure. His feet had been swollen since the summer, but I didn't know what was happening. A month and half before his passing, he was in the hospital for a heart attack. They also gave him water pills. But I think it made it worse. Because he was not eating very much. I think his potassium was getting too low. And he had another heart attack a month later. The doctor had also told us he had 6 months to one year, but he died 2 days later.
I'm so sorry. I hope you can surround yourself with loving friends and family. And give your dad all the support you can. Please don't wait like me and tell your dad everything you need to.
Thinking of you and sending you hugs.
Hang in there! Hospice is wonderful. Your story is so similar to ours. My mother has CHF and kidney failure. She was discharged from the hospital on 5/24/16. We were told she had less than 6 months and they could not do anything for her, so we brought her home with hospice. We have a wonderful nurse who takes such good care of her. She tweaked all her meds, and she has lost 30 lbs all fluid! She is on a gradual decline, but still with us 9 months later. I have worked in the medical field (administrative), for over 20 years, and I hate to say I feel her doctors gave up on her. Between her primary care, cardiologist, nephrologist, and the hospitalist, nobody could agree. Hospice came in, to make her comfortable and was much more aggressive than her medical doctors. My mother is not ready to give up on her fight. She is 92 years old. Every patient is different, but Hospice has been a God send for us. I wish the best for you and your Dad.
Hang in there! Hospice is wonderful. Your story is so similar to ours. My mother has CHF and kidney failure. She was discharged from the hospital on 5/24/16. We were told she had less than 6 months and they could not do anything for her, so we brought her home with hospice. We have a wonderful nurse who takes such good care of her. She tweaked all her meds, and she has lost 30 lbs all fluid! She is on a gradual decline, but still with us 9 months later. I have worked in the medical field (administrative), for over 20 years, and I hate to say I feel her doctors gave up on her. Between her primary care, cardiologist, nephrologist, and the hospitalist, nobody could agree. Hospice came in, to make her comfortable and was much more aggressive than her medical doctors. My mother is not ready to give up on her fight. She is 92 years old. Every patient is different, but Hospice has been a God send for us. I wish the best for you and your Dad.
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