My father has since last two weeks been displaying symptoms of late stage dementia (he talks gibberish, cannot walk without help, and worst he pees everywhere). The last part is the moat stressful. Even with diapers he just keeps peeing. He takes it off, takes all the clothes off and pees. He doesn't listen that he should just pee in the diaper. Sometimes he does but most of the time he tries to go to the loo but pees on the way. He wakes up in the middle of the night several times and thinks it's morning. I spend half an hour in my sleep trying to tell him that it's night still. I have to clean the pee he does in his room and other places every morning. Now all of this has only been going on for two weeks. Doctors have diagnosed him with late stage dementia and of course have said that there is nothing that can be done. Oh and I hired hekp too but still have to get involved since the guy is new and my father is a little overweight so two people have to lift him. It's getting beyond my patience limit. I spent the whole day crying. I'm 23 years old only and the youngest of five. Oh and I already have a brother who suffers from schizophrenia. It's hard to run errands or even have an hour to myself. Please help me. What to do? I almost had a mental breakdown today. I'm so confused too at the same time. I think may be im over reacting. Then I feel bad that by getting agitated may be I'm wronging my own father. However, I've been sweet to him all this while. Like i did not scream or shout at him. Plz guide me. Plz plz I need help. I don't want to live like this. I want my peace of mind back.
If it is dementia, I'd ask the doctor about his expectations. Is Hospice appropriate? Does he need a nursing home? It sounds like the care that he needs is not able to be provided by you in the home.
Good luck, it's so hard!
You're very young. How old is your father?
This has been going on for a fortnight. Well, late-stage dementia does not appear out of the blue. Did your father have any previous health problems at all? Heart disease, prostate trouble, anything? How old is he?
Where are you and your father living? - in his house, your house, have you not left yet the parental home, what's going on?
What doctors gave you this diagnosis, and how did they come to be treating your father? - E.g., did you take him to the ER, did his GP refer him, or what.
If you can tell us more about what's going on we can offer more relevant suggestions. Take heart, hugs to you.
I haven't done this myself, but someone in my caregivers group fastened the disposable underwear with duct tape. Another person used a one-piece garment (jump suit) that fastens up the back. It is VERY hard for any of us to just let-go and pee in our pants. It goes against everything we've known since we were toddlers. Add cognitive decline to that and it is not surprising that your poor dad wants to pull own his pants and pee. Not surprising but very distressing for you! Does he cooperate with wearing the disposables? Do you think you could try fastening them so they are hard to take off? Or having him wear a one-piece outfit? (Look under adaptive clothing to see examples.) This might be so frustrating for him that you'll have to discontinue it, but it could be worth a try -- ??
My mother would wander out in her robe and ask if breakfast was ready or if the paper was here yet. "Mom, it is four o'clock in the morning! See? It's dark outside." And then she'd say, "Well then I'm not getting up!" as if someone expected her to. I bought a clock that projected the time on the ceiling. A few times I had to walk her back to the bedroom and say, "Let't look at the time on the ceiling." After a while she stopped getting up so often. But she was not in the final stage.
If you put a commode right next to his bed, might he be willing to use that? That might help at least when he is in the bedroom.
In the larger picture, late-stage dementia is not a do-it-yourself project! At the very least you MUST have in-home help. I hope the new guy is a huge help. But it still may not be enough. Most people with late-stage (or even moderate stage) dementia are cared for in a nursing home or memory care facility. This has nothing to do with whether the caregiver is "good enough" -- it has to do with the nature of the disease itself.
And you MUST get adequate sleep. This isn't optional. A zombie caring for a demented person is a very scary situation! Can you sleep while the helper is there? Can you hire some one to be there at night, to help father? My husband's sleep issues came very early in his dementia. If the doctors had not been able to help with that I would have not been able to keep him home with me. You NEED sleep. Without it, count on a "breakdown."
Keep us informed on how this is unfolding. And more details might help us be more specific.
The things I would want done as this appears to be a rapid onset dementia which as others have said does not happen. You are so young it is also probable that your father is not very old.
Is there any medical insurance available? Medicare, Medicaid or private insurance? If payment is available in any form a complete medical evaluation is vital to include things like an MRI of the brain and exclude UTIs etc. He could have a brain tumor which could possibly be treated or spread of cancer from somewhere like the prostate.. As Jeannie said we need more information to give you the most helpful information. Come back soon.
Since you mention the hypertension and pulmonary oedema, as well as the diabetes, it sounds as though your father may have had a silent heart attack, and possibly a turn for the worse with vascular dementia. Vascular dementia tends to go in that pattern - no change for quite long periods of time, and then an abrupt deterioration caused by a stroke or strokes which may go completely unnoticed otherwise.
I'm sorry that there is not likely to be any good news, but the psychiatrist doesn't really seem to have been very interested in explaining much and it is best to know where you stand. Where are you, and what kind of health care system are you up against? Do you speak the local language???
How do you find a good nursing home? Start by calling 5 within drivable distance and setting up a tour. You can get a short list by asking if they have a secure (locked) dementia unit. If your dad has dementia and walks, that's what he'll need. Schedule a tour and ask a lot of questions. Pay attention to how the place looks and smells, how the people there are treated and spoken to. Ask about the staff to patient ratio on all 3 shifts. Pay close attention to how the place makes you feel. Then pull the trigger. The admissions person will be able to walk you through the process. If you dad loves it there, they can transition him to long term.
Good luck. You MUST take care of yourself. You have no choice.
I'm located outside US. While we do have insurance from his former employer that covers everything, I just can't throw him in a nursing home. Those are not really good where I live.
Should I take him to a neurologist now? Or the diagnosis done by the psychiatrist is true. They did not perform any big tests like mri though.
Again many thanks for your help.