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I cut him off I posted that before and he didn't call me for 2 weeks
called to check in to make sure he was alive
he asked about Christmas I said no we aren't doing anything, he asked if we could go out to eat I said no
he also said my sister is supposed to get some results from some tests
anyway he accepted my answers whether or not that had to do with my sister I don't care, it was a nice change, I won't contact him again for a few months or ever

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Sounds like progress for you, so congratulations and continue to keep those boundaries clear and strongly defended!
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Reply to Geaton777
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And you are at peace with this, Mary?
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mary543 Dec 15, 2025
i think so Alva not sure but I think so
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Keep it up !! No contact the rest of this year at least . Then you can try to go another month at a time no contact . Maybe thinking of it as one month at a time will help . You do a month great , then tell yourself you can do another .
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Reply to waytomisery
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Well done and good for you standing up for yourself and making some boundaries with your father.
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Reply to BurntCaregiver
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"And you should feel free to tell him when he calls that he requires help he is refusing, and as long as that is the case you won't be involved in his care; then wish him well."

Well put! I will use this ty!

He stopped calling me, I guess he listened when I said don't contact me which is good.
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I am ok ty

Anger is coming up but a lot of it is relief and some sense of peace
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AlvaDeer Dec 15, 2025
Good. The important thing here is that you don't engage when you know there's nothing much that you can really do. You should feel free to have a lunch out, or order in a nice meal for him, and still not at the same time take on responsibility. And you should feel free to tell him when he calls that he requires help he is refusing, and as long as that is the case you won't be involved in his care; then wish him well. There is no need for anger; you aren't there to punish him when he is down. There is only a need to keep yourself from getting sucked down the same old continuous drain that is your Dad. Good luck Mary. It's a fine line!
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