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She has dementia. We live with my mom who has dementia. She has always been the best mom ever. Unconditional love. Now she doesn't know she is in her own home. Asks me to take her home. Gets frustrated if I go anywhere with out her. Which I very seldom do because I know it makes her unhappy. I always make sure my son or husband stays with her. I work at the school so I am off with her all summer. My sister wathe s her 2 days a week and son in law 2 days which always falls one to figure out when they can't do it. I've even had to take days off work to cover. I know I sound like a selfish person but I'm really not. Mom argues with me alot. Most of the time I can let it go. I went on a 4 day vacation a few weeks ago with my family. I had do much grief from my sister telling me that she was never doing this again and said mom kept trying to call me on store phones. I felt horrible. I would do anything for my mom and I just always feel guilty when she gets upset. Thanks for having you all to talk to.

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Jesa, no need to feel guilty! Caregiving a dementia patient is not a job for one person. It takes three shifts of caregivers to do this, so start out by considering just how much you are trying to handle, essentially on your own.

It sounds like your mom has difficulty with agitation and anxiety. Has she been seen by a geriatric psychiatrist for these behaviors? Meds might make a huge difference.

Have you and your extended family watched any Teepa Snow videos on how to handle dementia patients? This might give sis and bil some techniques to use.
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Dementia is so cruel in how it changes our loved ones. It's not your fault though. I'd try to work past that.

I would be concerned with your son though. Depending on how troubling your mom's behavior is, I would imagine that it would be quite worrisome to a child. I would examine if having your son supervise your mom is prudent. I know how emotionally draining it was to care for my cousin who has dementia in the home. I would not put that on a teen. It sounds like it's too much for your sister and BIL too. I might explore getting outside help with your mom. It's certainly a 24/7 job that can really overload any person. Would that be possible?
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Dementia sux.. I too loved my Mom very much..

I just lost my Mom 3 wks. ago to this cruel disease, she lived with us for 14 yrs.. I took care of her 24/7 for the last 3 yrs..

The best advice I have is please call your local Elder Affairs.. They will let you know what services are available to her. Look up numbers for local Senior Ctr..She needs to get involved with others her own age..

It's great that you have sibling support but try to educate them and yourself about Dementia.. It will only get worse for Mom and your caregiving duties will become over whelming.. You need all the help you can get..

Please make the phone call to Elder Affairs!

Hugs to you, it's a tough road ahead..
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