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I was wondering what other people might do in my situation? I told my story recently under title HORROR STORY RE AGED PARENTS where I told of a massive fallout with my parents aged 92 living in their own home, who, out of the blue, told me they had changed their Wills two years previously and I no longer inherited their house! My father was very abusive to me when I expressed my shock at this development. He also said they had give money to my brother? I have since had a nervous breakdown, and nothing has been resolved. My parents personalities seem to have changed overnight, and they have absolutely no remorse or empathy towards me, and we haven't spoken since May, although they did send me a birthday card and cheque in October which I ignored. I believe they have some level of dementia, but no proof. I have read on an Elder Abuse website that it is a despicable crime when family members exploit old people and manipulate them to change Wills and give them money, in exchange for being able to remain in their own homes. Website suggests that Social Services or Adult Protective Services should be contacted and the matter reported. I wasn't going to do anything as I was too wounded by the loss of my mother, and have protected myself by distancing myself from them and this nightmare, but I keep feeling some anger that I have been treated in this despicable way, and my wound never goes away. I don't know whether I should take some action? My father told me 20 years ago that the house was left to me in their Wills due to the fact that 20 years ago he handed over a limited company of which I was a director, containing assets of £250,000 or thereabouts to my brother without consulting me. Again exploitation by my brother and his wife. I really don't know what to do? Do I forget about them completely and let my parents stab me in the back with impunity, as they appear to have no conscience, or do I take action? My brother is the only Trustee of the Will with the Solicitor, my parents didn't even make me a Trustee as compensation??? Or do I leave them to the mercy of brother and SIL who probably have no idea what is involved in looking after them as they deteriorate further due to possible dementia and escalating frailty? And also I am incensed at the suffering they have caused to my mother, who loved me (her only daughter) and is no doubt still suffering? Please help? Thank you very much.

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You are still paralyzed by depression and cannot bring yourself to do anything. First, cure yourself, get counseling and medication to build your strength. Next, realize that all the money will be eaten up if they go into a nursing home, so it is best forgotten. Do not bring up any money questions when you go to see them, it gives them the impression that is all you care about. This will make them angry and create more distance. When you recover, consider what is important, your health, your parents or a long battle over an inheritance that may evaporate before it comes to pass.
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Your parents have every right to change their wills. You either accept the way you are being treated or you risk your own well-being. That is YOUR choice. Having a "nervous breakdown" can be good. If you were in a hospital, then you were being cared for, and if this was just an expression, most of us being caregivers have at some time lost patience, but we go on. My best suggestion is to let the chips fall where they may, you make your own choices in your life, and don't expect anyone else to give you things. An inheritance is simply a "gift" that the giver gives. What was said twenty years prior is null and void. People change. You either change your perception or you do not. Your choice.
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Talk to a lawyer
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You keep repeating things here in great length, a sign of OCD. Get some therapy and medications, focus on getting well.
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I agree with pstiegman but if you feel your parents health and safety are in jeopardy then I would absolutely contact ASP. Their well being is obviously important to you despite what they have done to you.
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Ferris1, I agree with you completely. I am an only child and should be left my dad's estate. It's possible that my youngest son has persuaded him to sign over his house to him or has given him a lot of money. So be it. I won't worry about what may happen. Like you said, the inheritance is a "gift"..............my life will go on one way or another.
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I believe that the owner of a Ltd company (your father) would know to give you a deed granting him and his wife a life estate and not the promise of a house in his will which he could change. He would have dealt with enough lawyers and deals to know this. He may have known he could change his will later, and granted you the house in the will to make you stop complaining back then. If you complained back then like you are now, I can see how he would do something reversible just to shut you up. My relative did this purposely to one of his children.

On the other hand, if the Golden Child of brother & sis in law did manipulate him to do this, where were you then? It honestly does sound like it is all about the money. No one deserves anything no matter what abuse you have put up with in your life. Yes, that is a hard one to swallow, but it is better than anger and resentment which can eat you from the inside out.

Skip the lawyer, go to a therapist. Mine changed my life.
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Jennymac, when people look forward to an inheritance, I often wonder why. In the past, rich families did depend on inheritances to live the way they were used to, I guess. Nowadays though, care at the end of life costs so much that I wonder if expected inheritances are becoming a thing of the past. Our parents had pensions when they retired, and most of us will never have that either. We adjust. I hope you can feel better about it. I know it is about the money and yet maybe not about the money, because of the statement made by withholding it. I can see where that may hurt even more than the loss of the money itself. I hope that will make you feel better.
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There Is No Try - sometimes the inheritance thing is a carrot that allows parents to exploit their children and of course there are situations where simple fairness does come in. It is essential to avoid the "sunk cost" - that is, getting fooled into putting in effort and being unable to write it off and walk away. With toxic families, you have to be realistic about any promises but it sounds like jenny did trust them, whereas she should have seen 20 years ago that she was dealing with skunks and weaklings and wasted no more time.
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i feel your pain. i'm so sorry you have to experience this betrayal. i can only echo the advice of the others and encourage you to be at peace with yourself, let go of the hurt your family have caused you and go with your heart in the positive direction of what you believe is the best for you and your parents. stay strong (or at least, give it your best shot!)...
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