My wife's father has basically checked out of life. My wife's siblings are a mixed bag of people, but one sister is a complete Devil. She has been convicted of stealing money/checks. Married an Aryan Nations gang member in prison, cheats all the social benefits the state has to offer, I could go on and on.

Problem is she has moved in with their father and has turned him against the rest of the family.

At this time she is controlling all his money, and his mind. He is very frail mentally, he does not think for himself so she is able to get everything from him.

We have proof she is trying to get the house in her name and has already got her name on his checking and savings account.

We are not allowed to talk to her father without her being present and if my wife or other siblings call their father she answers the phone and says he doesn't want to talk.

This year for Christmas she said the father did not want to have Christmas with the rest of the family so they stayed at home. One of the other Siblings went over to the house and found that the father had bought all kinds of presents for her, her two grown daughters and her grandson (all of which are living there). The father never even called and said happy holidays to any of the other children, although that is not uncommon, he has never in the 37 years I have been married to my wife called and wished her a happy birthday or even called to see how she was doing. Like I said he has basically checked out.

Basically this sister has broken the family, my wife can't go a day without crying because she feels her father does not love her or want her. All the other siblings feel the same way.

I personally think her father is mentally unstable and needs professional help. We have called in the county several times but they live out in rural MN and I think that the county does not have the education or qualified people to figure out what is going on here.

We just don't know what to do at this point. Do we write my wife's father off? Do we spend a boatload of money on lawyers (most of my wife's siblings do not have money so it would all fall on my wife and one sister)? Can we get someone to intervene from the State level?

Any suggestions or help would be greatly appreciated.



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I would call APS and ask them to investigate elder abuse. If they find Dad capable of making his own decisions my suggestion, is to walk away. You claim this is nothing new so u probably cannot fix it. Let sister "do her thing" and then when she goes thru Dad's money and says he is someone elses problem, tell her nope he is hers. If she walks away, you could find him resources but don't take on his care.

You wife needs some counseling. She needs to know she isn't the problem Dad is.
Helpful Answer (1)

You can call Adult Protective Services in his county and report that you think he is not being cared for properly and that he is possibly being financially exploited.

You can't make him get help he doesn't want.

You can sue for guardianship (and yes, it will cost a boatload of money, but you can be reimbursed by father's funds if you prevail in court).

Be aware that if you have guardianship, you will then be responsible for him, as though he was your child. You will need to arrange for care, medical care, etc. And you will probably end up fighting with the scumbag siblings over every inch of territory, although you will have the power to do what is best for him.

Has your wife sought therapy for her deep sadness over the loss of her father?
Helpful Answer (3)

You can call APS of Minnesota and voice your concerns.

Tell them everything you know about the situation and SIL, hopefully they can do a thorough financial investigation.
Helpful Answer (3)

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