Is there any way to prevent a "family friend" from taking Dad for everything he's got? Since Mom died, he's been spending a lot of time with a former employee of the family business. Unbeknownst to the family, she's been driving him to Dr appts, going into the exam room, presenting herself as his "caregiver", and then telling his doctors that he has dementia. We also found out that she's been accepting unknown amounts of cash in exchange for cleaning his house etc.
This came to light when she took him to the ER for a suspected "stroke" (but managed to stop at the bank on the way so he could make a suspiciously large cash withdrawal.) While in the hospital, he did in fact obtain a formal diagnosis of early stage Alzheimer's, but to our knowledge this diagnosis did not previously exist. Even though we have been noticing symptoms (sleepiness, confusion, easily forgetful) off and on for a while, we believed this was mostly due to the stress of caring for and eventually losing Mom to a prolonged terminal illness.
We believe this "friend" has been using these symptoms in order to gain/maintain control over him. She has been taking it on herself to make medical decisions for him without the family's knowledge, withholding information because "he didn't want anyone to worry", and positioning herself as the person we must go through to access him. In the ER triage, she was talking over both Dad and daughter to answer the nurse's questions herself. Apparently before the family arrived, she told the ER staff that he has Alzheimer's but don't mention it to the family because it upsets us?!
He is in his early 70s and is medically stable, still able to drive and live alone. The dr says that with medication to slow the mental decline, he should be independent for many more years. This is great news, but we are concerned that his ability to retain his independence means he will have many years in which to be scammed before his children have a valid reason to step in.
Obviously he can spend his time and money as he wishes, but we understandably don't want his retirement savings drained by an opportunistic parasite. He has a history of giving large sums of cash to family members, which is fine, but this is unacceptable. There's no reason why this "friend" should be doing these things for him (and getting paid handsomely.) His children and adult grandchildren all live in the same town and we would do these things for him if he asked us.
At this point is there anything we can do? If he would give one of us power of attorney, can they even do that, even though he's still medically able to be independent? We accept that it will be impossible to keep her away from him when he is a willing participant in this "friendship", but we'd like a way to stem the bleeding to a slow trickle at least.