My younger brother moved in with Mom roughly 12 years ago to "take care of her so she would not have to go to a facility."2 years ago, he lost his job, and I found out Mom was giving him a "nice check" every 2 weeks so that he could pay for "his expenses," which had never consisted of rent or utilities. He would often buy dinner items to cook for them at home. He never cleaned house, never helped with his animals or hers, yard work was bare minimum, and to top that, I found out he had coerced her into getting a home equity loan for a major purchase that she ended up having to pay for several months. He finally found a job and now pays all utilities minus house taxes and insurance. However, he refuses to sign an agreement to continue to live with her. He doesn't clean, mow the grass, help with the litter boxes, or assist her with her laundry. He smokes in the house (I've asked him numerous times to stop) and has recently moved his new girlfriend in (Mom had no idea). He has put cameras all around the house (without permission and not his account) and now I'm not getting any of Mom's mail. When I ask, I'm told by the girlfriend that mom doesn't get any. Mom's memory is bad. She cannot tell you what she ate (an hour ago) and when I ask if she made it to her "Activities" (adult daycare), she doesn't remember that, either. I’m her DPOA and I feel it's time to evict him. On occasion Mom has stated she wish he and "that girl" would leave. When I mention eviction, she gets mad at me and defensive. What should I do?
It is her right to live with whomever she wishes and indeed to give them money if she is competent in making this decision. This has been going on now for 12 years according to you. I can't imagine how you think to step in and change it without a good diagnostic workup and without getting your POA set up and taking charge of finances and so on.
If your mother expresses to you that she would prefer your brother and his family move I think it would be wise to take her to an eviction attorney to discuss.
Perhaps I am missing something; do correct me if I am. But I suggest first stop is full MD workup and discussion with mother about handling her finances so as to protect her money. Do know this is taking on a whole lot of work for at that point you'll be responsible for every penny into and out of mom's accounts.
(Hate to say this but if you are able to and have been mom's POA you should have stepped in at least 2 years ago)..water under the bridge....
Is mom competent? Has she been told by a doctor that she should not be living alone? Are you currently managing her finances because she no longer can?
If mom is in danger financially or physically and you are POA it is your duty, your job to make sure that she is safe.
So if you are legally able to you can begin evicting them. (brother and GF)
If you are not legally able to because your POA is not active at this time your mother would have to be the one to evict them and it does not sound like she would do that based on what you have said.
You could report mom to APS as a "vulnerable senior" and APS would begin an investigation.
Eviction is not fast.
Once you file the paperwork you will get a court date maybe a month or possibly 2 away. Once in Court the Judge will generally give the person between 30 and 60 days to vacate. ( I have to ask will mom be safe during that time? And I hate to brin this up are there valuables in the house he may "liberate"? And is there any possibility that he would try to obtain Guardianship that would supersede your POA?)
What I would do is find Mom a nice Assisted Living residence if she can afford it. Your DPOA should give you the right to sell her house. Then you use the proceeds for Moms care. If Medicaid looks like it may be in her future, the house needs to sell at Market Value.
Before you do this, make sure you get anything of value out of the house. You can evict brother. The house is being sold, he must get out. Once he is out, change the locks.