My sister and my aunt's husband are fighting over conservatorship of my aunt. How do I help?

As he is your aunt's husband, he is her legal next of kin and he should be fighting to make decisions on her behalf. He has a right and an obligation to your aunt, one that legally is far beyond that of a niece. That's just the way it is.

What part of that is too difficult to understand? It seems as if how your aunt's finances are being spent is the real concern. Having a prenup doesn't preclude her husband from taking care of and making decisions for his wife about her care and what is best for her. That's just being a loving and responsible husband.

And being executor of a will doesn't mean squat when the person whose will it is is still alive. There's no power in being an executor until she dies. It sounds to me as if there are some on the outside looking in who are just worried about what they'll inherit or not.

I would suggest you get some legal advice and will probably find that getting conservatorship is expensive. Also your aunt has to be ruled incompetent. Is she? Can she decide who she wants at this time to take care of her business? If so, she has the right to do so. And a prenup is for a divorce situation and they can be full of holes too.

As a spouse, he should have some part in her care. If he doesn't, why not? Is he trustworthy? Many questions. If he isn't trust worthy, I know you feel obligated to protect your aunt. You just can't open her wallet to someone who may not have her best interest at heart.

Then there is the issue of him feeling left out. Maybe his feelings are hurt. I know, that is my situation with my Mother. I have always been honest but she doesn't trust my husband (for no good reason), so she keeps secrets from me. It has destroyed our relationship. So maybe he is hurting too and you just don'
t realize it. Maybe a good sit down and talk is in order.

Only you can know the answers to these questions. If this is a situation where you and your sibling(s) have counted on an inheritance from an aunt who married late in life, well, things change. But you know the husband and you know what his intentions could be. My brother in law married at 45, has a CPA firm, a beautiful home, plenty of money. At first there was talk his home would go to the nephews and nieces when he died. I thought, no, it should go to the loving woman who married this eccentric old guy. I hope she gets everything. BUT, if she were a conniving bitch, well..... you get my drift. Good luck to you on finding the right answers to this problem.

Sorry, I just realized your sister is the one who is having the problem. Just forward the advice to her :)

I am very puzzled why the niece thinks she should have conservatorship when there is a living husband. Is he not competent to handle his wife's affairs (assuming his wife is not)? Did she at some point specifically state that she preferred your sister to handle her finances instead of her husband? Many persons would select a younger person as executor of their will, but that doesn't say anything about who manages her money while she is still alive. How do you know that she would want your niece to have power over her finances? Did she give her durable power of attorney? It seems to me a woman who was careful enough to have a prenup drawn up would also have taken that legal step if that is what she wanted.

In any case, Niece is going to have to get a lawyer if she is trying to obtain conservatorship. Husband has hired a lawyer. The lawyers will resolve it. Unfortunately the longer the process drags out, the more of Aunt's funds it will drain.

Is your aunt competent to make decisions? The husband is next of kin & should be in charge of paying her bills, which should be very few at this point. Why does the niece want guardianship?