Why does family believe dementia lies?

Yes fligirl58 that is normal in my case. My mother listens in on my phone calls, screens whoever is calling me and is always interrupting conversations with "who is that, what are you talking about ect ect ect...." So frustrating and BORING. At first I was very insulted that she was listening in on my phone calls now I really do not care. Just have to be careful what I say. I have told family members that she does this but they did not believe it until they heard her on the other line breathing. My sis will start to talk about her on the phone and I have told her numerous times that we have a "visitor" but she does not get it so I just let her blab now. Have to grow a really thick skin with dementia. My Mother is not who she used to be and there is so much denial in my family that it makes it very hard on me at times. Good luck, don't take it personally and continue to enjoy the things you like to do.

They might be in denial about the disease - or they know very little about it. Have the Alzheimer's Assoc (http://www.alzheimers.org) send them their informational packet. Gives a good, thorough overview of what the disease does. Are you educated about it? Make sure you know all of the stages, what is going on physically and if you must, simply laugh it off asking, "You don't really believe this, do you?" If they answer 'yes,' then quit. Tell them you'll return when they're ready to admit the truth / or when they really take in the reality of the situation. I was in denial about my mom for a good year before I really understood that she couldn't remember.

Sadly94, I'm thinking about you. Ignorance is bliss. It keeps ignorant people happy to ignore the truth.

My husband has recently diagnosed Lewy Body Dementia and 18 years living with Parkinson's. He has 5 children that have decided they want to remember Dad as he was, not as he is. No visits, few calls. Two weeks ago at first granddaughter's wedding, he was not included in the wedding photos, nor was the other grandfather with lymphoma. Too disturbing to see them like this in the photos that are of such a happy time. What??? The wedding dress was first worn by the bride's grandmother, my husband's first wife. He wasn't photographed with the bride in the dress attached to so many happy memories.
Granddad has a faltering memory but he's still funny and full of life with great treasures and stories to relate. The self centered children are missing out on quality time in these last years. They say it's too painful now and they are keeping a united front.
However, the grandsons make it a priority to come for weekly meals so they can spend time with the fun guy and learn the family history and lore. I'm amazed that of 6 grandchildren, only the boys in their 20's have the interest and set aside the time to visit each week. Grandpa and I are thrilled to see them and share in their lives. A little dementia just makes some of the tales that much more interesting. Thank God for the grandsons!

My mom had paranoia issues all her life. It got worse right after she was diagnosed with dementia, then thankfully, the last 3 years of her life she stopped being paranoid and seemed to enjoy herself more. Her only real issue was money. She would say she was broke, had no money. I would give her several hundred dollars in $20 bills and ask her if that was enough? Well, growing up poor as she did, a couple of hundred dollars was alot. I made sure she had plenty of money for eat outs and yard sales when she was able to go.. (even though she rarely paid for anything, LOL!).. and later on when she couldn't go places, she had pocket money to hold on to so she would never be broke.