Have you had to face your own fears about who is going to look after you?

Yes, I am in the same boat as you. I figured I would move to a senior community, maybe find some roommates and live like the Golden Girls. There's no reason that we old girls can't look out for each other.

Yes, I sometimes worry about this as I have no children. I have spoken to my niece and I don't really have confidence that she will be there for me so I have written my will so that my bank will be executor for my estate and that I will live with care givers until I must move to a facility, should I live that long. The fees are stiff to have a non-family executor, but I feel OK that I will be looked after.

My health is so-so, and I think I worry more about not outlasting my Mom.

Macada:
Being a "caregiver" does not necessarily mean that the person has to live under your same roof. I lived 3 states away from my elderly father with dementia and realized it would be less traumatic to put him in assisted living in the region where he grew up, in his own state. However, I had to single-handedly take care of everything - his finances, his medical coordination, his legal papers, his house sale, give away his possessions, etc. Because he already had some dementia when my mother suddenly dropped dead of a heart attack, I also had to take care of all of HER stuff in addition. It was, in some ways, actually MORE work to do all of that than it would have been to just move dad to where I was living. So, I was most certainly a "caregiver" even though dad was not under my roof - and it occupied a lot of my life for the last 3 years of HIS life.

Im going to take a big shot of heroin at the age of 70

Well, I am 54 and have no children,also I am an only child.After reading these comments I think in about 20yrs there is going to be an epidemic of seventy something women committing suicide.

To answer your question is yes I have fears about being cared for in my very elderly years. Yes I faced those fears by planning financially for the future, but living for today. I am not a custodial caregive, but I do help my mother with driving her to where she needs to go and providing meals she would not normally make for herself. I also worry about my three adult children wanting to help take care of me when I do not want that for them. I want my children to enjoy the good in life and not be hindered with responsibilities of caring for me. Who knows, I could die before I would need to be cared for. So, basically I face my fear knowing life is too short and just enjoy each day as it comes.

My siblings all died young. I'm left to take care of my Mother. Yes, I feel it is my responsibility. She took care of her Mother. No one else will. It's hard because I'm out-of-state, disabled, and poor. She doesn't have a lot of money either. I feel we should take care of one another because no stranger in a facility will nor can give the kind of (emotional) care one would need or desire.

I'm going to find Willy Nelson and smoke with him and get me some braids going on, tye dyes and listen to a lot of Grateful Dead.

There is no comparison between caring for children and an elderly parent(s). Having children is a choice, caring for an elderly parent is a duty out of love and respect for the aging process. The care for an elderly person is completely different than caring for children. Elderly people have had a lifetime of independence, caring for themselves physically, emotionally and financially. Then they lose that independence and being the caregiver of someone who is losing the independence that they have always known, is emotionally and physically exhausting and challenging.

I have this problem too. I'm a bit afraid but I think I'll have to have really good friends or just one friend to trust. I won't have enough $$ to go into a "community" and I think that's the only problem. Too bad we don't live in a country that values people all through their lives and helps them live when they get older with pride and comfort. But the whole society would have to be reorganized and today we seem to have so many people (and lawmakers/lawdestroyers) who are extremely selfish despite their professed religiosity and contempt for those who aren't like them. We need stronger government programs not further destruction of our "safety net'.