How to explain a death in the family or having to put down a pet?

...so, you find my strongly suggesting that the poster make up their mind and quickly, and to make the decision in the benefit of the animal who is in pain ( admitted by the poster) ... So you find my strongly suggesting they do something quickly offensive? yet you dont find "buy a wheel chair for the dog" or "extend its life for the grandmother" or "put diapers on it" .. oddly offensive? ...Listen, when you have someone admitting to pondering the need to put a dog down, a dog, an animal, thats been in pain for no less than 6 months to a year (posters own words) you find my strong suggestions to do something, as criticizing?...but yet you find no other commenters disturbing, then, I would say that your comment to me needs to be put in the place of an individual who has a questionable judgment.

...and if all this "ageing Care.com is about "fluff and prayers" then its not a place for anyone whos really seeking "real help" to go to ... because all these problems that "Real" and "active full time caregivers".. those issues are real and "fluff and prayers" wont do squatt to help them. If theres someone "like this person posting this, whos obviously having a problem making a rash decision, does person need fluff or some straight forward talk ... well, you go ahead and feed the fluff.

... Poster, listen .. (and you posted this question over a week ago, perhaps youve already done something) .. anyway, my mom, has dementia and short term memory issues. She had a cat "missy" .. this cat was only receiving love and affection if the cat would jump on my mothers lap for a petting. Other than that i was the only one feeding her, playing with her, checking her health, etc. My mother would say "i love missy with all my heart" or " missy is my girl, etc etc etc" ..yet truth of the matter is "missy is an intelligent affectionate animal who deserved more than an occasional lap petting. She deserved more than to just exist for my mothers state of mind. She needed to be fed, well cared for and respected for the living being she is. ........... I found a new home for her, one full of life and affection and actual physical care. My mother to this day will go 6 days a week never remembering her, then one day she'll start to cry and say "I miss my cat" ...I then sit next to her and explain "mom, missy is fantastic, shes so happy right now,shes not lonely .. you know we talked about her needing to be with a family that played with her, and that could treat her well, and we'll go check up on her some day" ....My mother is satisfied for another week. (So you know, we will not be going to "check up on her, the family is treating missy well, and does not need myself nor mother disturbing their life) ... My point is, and perhaps Ive been rough (to certain people) in previous comments about your situation, but I dont believe I have been, not when a decision clearly needs to be made, and by your not making it is causing the on-going suffering or latent care of your grandmothers pet, the dog. I believe in never allowing the suffering or lack of care of anyone or any-thing, human or animal simply because of a human may think differently, or feel temporarily saddened, ie; my mother, or your grandmother.

I think I would tell your grandmother that her sweet dog needs to see the doctor as the dog doesn't seem well. Then, I would take the dog to the Vet and have the doctor evaluate the dog. If the doctor feels it is time for the dog to be put down, do it for the dog's sake but tell grandma that her dog must stay at the vet until it is well. If she asks after the dog, perhaps you can tell her that you called and checked and that the dog must stay a while longer but is doing better. I would keep making reassurances when questioned but I think the questions will eventually stop. My grandmother had dementia. When we took her to live in a care facility, she had to leave the dog she loved very much behind. We found her beloved Carrie another home but we told grandma, when she asked, that Carrie was fine and out in the yard. Grandma only asked for a brief time and then forgot. I also think that giving your grandmother a realistic but stuffed companion is a great idea.

I agree, don't tell her. Likely she has gotten emotionally attached to her dog and it would hurt her to know that. Besides, she most probably can not make rational decisions at this point.She will forget eventually.

....to.."gardensrtist.... I received an email from someone calling themselves an "admin from this site, saying someone turned my comments in as "personal attacks"... if this was you, might I suggest you learn to read more correctly... for instance "ferrisone" is an example of a threat and warning type of a comment by her telling poster that unless she listen to her then the poster will suffer the guilt of making the grandmother suffer" etc etc.. those types of words are full of direct and cruel intent. Where-as mine could be seen as a strong and urgent suggestive need of immediate attention being paid from the poster to the situation regarding a living being suffering from pain.