Estranged MIL suddenly in our care? What do we do first?

Alazrielle, I'm glad you have some peace, even if it is only temporary.

DH needs to call the discharge planning department at the hospital and tell them that MIL will not be allowed back into your home as she is a threat to your child's physical and mental health.

Be prepared for pushback. Do NOT allow them to bully you. Change the locks and do NOT let her back in if they send her home in a cab.

My cabby said the hospitals will put people in his cab, for a $20 ride to where ever that gets the patient to. It's sad.. He says that is more common nowaday..

in regards to the dog.. take it on daily walks with a PINCH COLLAR. These are sold at Petco, and other pet shops.. It is a daily training collar. It works very well. It is designed to keep the dog in check. Look up dog training in your area that will teach you and your dog together. It's the best way for training you to train your dog...They are usually in groups so you and your dog can train together and get used to being around new owners and their pet dogs... From there, you can your pet can go to dog parks or similar places that allow dogs to collide with other dogs.
Your mom can be a part of this too if she wants to. 51 is kinda young.. So take he to the dog training classes too... Perhaps you can find a little about "mom" as well..
A fun excerise for the dog.... Put little dog treats hidden around the house.. Like near the t.v.,,,, closet... a ladder,... someone's shoe.. And keep him away from it until all the treats are hidden... Then give him a little smell and bit of it... ROVER : 3 TREATS.. !!!! GO FIND THEM :) HAPPY VOICE!!! fun at last He will thank you over and rover again.
Do this every night... He will begin to see his new family as a happy and loving and treat giving family... :)

Give DOG A HAPPY HOME !!! He just wants attention. Honestly food is where the heart is... and you can toss toys and play games... It will make things so much better= dog will actually feel he is a part of the family....
Our dog knows so many tricks.. I could have had her in a movie that was being filmed locally ... I didn't even think of it til I left... Walk in the park and she was acting goofy... I said: Where's Lilly? her best friend... She jumped and perked up like : WHERE? The movie set people saw this... laughing... I was just walking my dog...
I just wanted to keep walking, and she was taking her time to smell the park etc.
Train the dog to be nice. Treats are a good first start. If it starts nipping.. In a calm but assertive voice, say... nooooo noooo. Max, nooo, that's not nice..and turn away...
I don't know how old the dog is, or his nature, breed etc... But treats usually work... BE kind to this pet... and he will be kinder to you... TREATS TREATS TREATS... Is a good first start.
To give you an idea, my dog is part german shepard.. she looks it.. I take into places and they greet her... not me.. her,,, When I take her she is not known, she demands the attention, stands near the counter.. (treats are hidden there- she thinks of all places) demands the attention she wants--- TREATS---- When they are not presented.. I make her do a trick, and tell her what a sweetheart she is, and thank everyone who endured, this situation :)
She is not as happy, but everyone tells me what a wonderful and beautiful pup I have... She is so good....Fun and loving....

Potty training.. If you need to deal with this.. 15 MINUTES AFTER YOU FEED DOG... Take him by leash to the area you want him to do his business... TELL DOG: GO DO IT !! Keep dog on leash until he pees. Tell him good job.. !! just like a child.. be happy... but do not think he will do this on his own... He is a newbie... He needs to be taught these new rules...YOUR RULES... and kindly...
So if your dog.. YES,, NOW HE IS YOUR DOG... DO NOT ARGUE THIS ISSUE.. HE IS IN YOUR HOME.. HE NEEDS TO KNOW YOUR RULES... BE KIND.. IT IS THE BEST WAY.
He has not had any training so this may be hard on him.. this is why you need to be kind but assertive.
QUESTION: IS dog small, Chihuahua small, or Shepard large? Small may not do so well in a pinch collar.. shepards can handle pinch collars. They both DO REALLY WELL with KINDNESS & TREATS.. and tricks..

I chose the pet to be the first part of this issue... I feel it's easier in all aspects..You can choose what best suits you.
51 seems young.. I should not judge.. no telling what she has endured, or is suffering from now... Check UTI Urinary tract infections, CAT SCANS ETC.
Does dementia or ALZ run amuck in your family? Cancer? etc? The answer to this with most people would be a resounding: YES.A family member has suffered from or died of something..
This is why I chose a pet to focus on... It is easier to figure in a sense.. Believe me.. You will see a difference if you take out a stale cracker or piece of bread, or a piece of chicken in frig.. whatever is edible and smells, will attract your dog's nose.. You will see a new personality... There are awesome traing treats in the stores. Recentll, I have been making my own pet food...INSTANT POT... Chicken on sale from markets... I find I like boneless n skinless chicken.. last week $1.99 a pound.. ONe small can of cat food.. $1,85... Pure chicken my cat doesn't throw up so much..

HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON.. DOG.. PET... TRAIN YOUR PET!

I don't know how old your child is, but get child involved with a treat/trick with the dog. who knows? the dog may actually be your child's personal pet, or more..
My dog will not allow anyone near me without her guard up.. She needs to see and smell THE HANDSHAKE... If she doesn't see or smell this.. she is on HIGH ALERT... She knows...
TAke advantage of your situation.. GEt this pet on YOUR SIDE NOW... TREAT HIM KINDLY AND WITH STORE BOUGHT TREATS OR YOUR OWN.. LET HIM KNOW HE IS FAMILY.. make sure he all his immunizations are up to date.. Rabies, etc.
Yup, I have a friend who had to take his mom's dog... She hadn't been fixed, etc.. I made them see every time I went to the house poor thing was in "heat"..
I told them with extreme detail what I am seeing.. I would get up and clean up after this poor gal, and clean her up, and clearly say..she was their responsibility... Months later,.. they got that poor gal spayed.
With your new dog... Is he neutered? If not get him neutered.. He will Be a Better Dog.. Make sure he is up to date on vaccines..
Walk the poor guy at least around the block, the dog park. etc. DOGS NEED TO EXCERISE... AND SO DO WE.... Now you and dog can do this together.. tie the bond tighter.

Dog weighs so much... He is a big or fat or both... kinda dog.... Pinch Collar. Take him for walks, daily walks.. 5 minutes.. 10 minutes... to the end of the driveway and back...

PINCH COLLAR... he won't bull doze over anyone...

Mom.. 51.. ALZ is not racist of anything.. age, color, gender, etc... Like most illness to attacks anyone...

My friend was a MASTER DIVER.. SCUBA DIVER.. AWESOME GAL. Never had anyone in my life before or since then like her.. MISS her a lot.. She would call us:
" WE ARE HAVING A BBQ THIS AFTERNOON AT YOUR HOUSE! SEE YOU SOON! :) " I would tell my hubby.. quick, hurry, MARILYN CALLED:: We are having a BBQ today. WE need to clean !!!

She past away 10 years ago.. It seems like yesterday.. God, I miss her..O miss her hubby too..Knew something was wrong.. she divorced him..They wer good together. both sweethearts.. He doesn't come around anymore... :(
I actually don't know why I am posting this on this blog..
Wait.. she died too soon... Brain issues.. EARLY ONSET ALZ? It was not good. When I called her at the facility and they allowed me to talk with her... she couldn't talk due to the disease... she had her jovial laugh when she heard my voice...

Please listen to Barb. MIL isn't going to be in the hospital forever. What are you going to do if she shows up in a taxi from the hospital? Has your H talked to the discharge planners?

Maybe husband should allow the State to take over. It will be easier for the State to find a place for her. Her care will be taken over by a guardian. If they call to tell u to pick her up, tell them sorry you are afraid for you and childs safety. Explain she punched holes into her bedroom wall after she didn't get her way. She is mentally ill and you can not care for her. That DH was estranged from her when he found she was homeless. Him taking her in was not a permanent thing, it was until you could get her help. Well, its now time for the help. She is too volatile to be around your child.

She should have been taken to hospital right away. She could have just about anything from dehydration to urinary tract/bladder infection, to diabetes etc, etc.
The dog was traumatized and uprooted to a brand new situation. That's why it has bad manners. And she isnt with it, so the dogs gonna take over.

Good luck getting her help.

MIL on her way to group home - yeaa! Dog has been rehomed thru a shelter that gave it medical care. Am I right Alazrielle? You DO, however, want to make sure your state doesn't require children to pay for their parents care in a facility... some states do; it isn't always enforced, but you don't want to take a chance. Hugs!

UPDATE: I'm not sure WHAT to do now. She said she wanted to leave and didn't want to live with us anymore. She destroyed our property, scared myself and the children. She was in the hospital for a month and the doctors said she was fine. All of her behaviors she exhibited here, they didn't observe at all. She showed up on the doorstep today and started screaming at me about "knowing what I did". I called the police. The police are saying that she lives here and that I never "evicted" her. She isn't on our lease and I really don't feel safe letting her into our home, with our children. The police didn't care. Now, I don't know what to do...I want to get her back to the shelter where the hospital made arrangements for her, but they are saying she left voluntarily. She won't go back. I don't want to be cruel to her, or mean, but I HAVE to put the safety of the kids first, don't I?

So where is she now, this minute, Alazrielle?

OMG! One of those no good deed goes unpunished. In hindsight, husband should have left her where she was and let them deal with Mom.
Whats husband say.