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I'm not really sure where to begin


Father is elderly, living independently on social security. He rents and has no assets that I know of. I'm concerned that he might have debt he hasn't told me about and I'm not sure what happens with that when he passes.


I am out of state, my income is pretty low so I'm not sure how much I can help financially. He is starting to need help with cleaning, laundry, meals. He may need help getting to some doctor's appointments. I would like to have someone come in once a week to help. Not sure what I'm looking for. He used a service before where they did light cleaning, laundry, and checked in on him. I don't think they did meals. He was able to pay for it, but apparently it was difficult to have people come to where he lives, because it's too far. So maybe there's another organization that can be contacted? He's not willing to divulge.


My concerns are also having legal documents in place. I understand that I need to have a health care proxy form, living will, regular will, funeral arrangements. I'm not sure what else set up. I asked him if he has any of these and he was dismissive.

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Health care proxy and living will are kind of the same thing. A living will has no legal real legal power on its own (for example, a doctor can choose to put you on a ventilator if he thinks you'll recover from what ails you), and the health care POA (proxy) should have Dad's wishes as part of it.

You also need financial POA in order to handle his finances, such as they are. If he has no assets, there's not really much need for a regular will, so I wouldn't worry about that.

It sounds like he's not interested in any pre-planning, so I wouldn't worry either. He'll likely end up the responsibility of the state if he chooses not to make you his representative, and it sounds like he's still of sound mind, so there's really nothing to do at this point unless he asks for help.
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If dad has a sound mind then he needs to be willing to put documents in place, such as a will, advance directive, naming POA for healthcare and financial decisions. If he refuses he needs to understand that these matters will be decided for him, likely in a way that he would not have preferred or chosen. Unless you have signed for any of his debts, no worries, when he dies they will be uncollectable, they die with him. Contact the Area Agency on Aging in his county to inquire for what help may be available to him with household tasks.
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If he has no assets and debt when he dies the debt dies with him. You are not responsible to pay any of his debt. If he has assets or money those debts get settled with his money and his assets.
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