Some may have seen my previous post where I lamented this corona virus hell. My Dad is in late stage been in an ALF since October, prior to that he was hospitalized for kidney and pneumonia when we made the heartbreaking decision after 9 years of home care to place him as my 76 yr old mother couldn't do it anymore. We went daily. We provided the care as they were understaffed. This past month he declined even further. Became mostly immobile and mostly non verbal. Showed signs of high agitation with constant clapping and slapping his hands. Because of the ban we had to go 15 days without seeing him. I was very concerned with his lack of eating and drinking and the fact we weren't able to see him and help. He lost 10 lbs in 15 days. He landed in the E.R Sunday a.m. after they discovered a massive fever and then ICU for severe dehydration, kidney failure and pneumonia. The heart too was in critical condition they were able last night to stabilize. They told my mother that he is hospice eligible she has chosen to stop all meds and do comfort care..we were told he could pass in days. I'm a wreck. I'm not sure if this is the right course of action? We also still cannot see him yet because of COV 19. My heart is aching over him passing before I can say goodbye. I'm devastated. Has anyone else had to make this choice? Is this the best choice? Feels like giving up Please help.
I have been speaking to my mother at her nursing home by Facetime. One of the staff calls daily at a designated time. It is so comforting just to see her face. I have also visited through the window. Even if your father is unresponsive, he could still listen to your voice and seeing his face would comfort you. I am praying that the Comforter be with you at this time. May God have mercy on your father and you and your mother during this vigil.
I am happy that you were able to speak with him on the phone.
May God grant you your hearts desire to see him and say goodbye in person.
May you be granted grieving mercies and comfort during this difficult, difficult time. Hugs to you and your family.
Your dad is in bad health and the best thing you can do is to let him go. I know it is easier said than done, but it is what is best for him! It really is the best choice!
I am very sorry that you are going through this in this very difficult time.
Sending you hugs!
They will still continue to see him. And it is like another set of eyes and an extra pair of hands. So he will get more attention.
Ask Hospice if they have Tap Cloud or some other App like it as you can keep in contact with the team and they can update you easily.
As your dad declines it might be possible for you to see him, ask. There might be exceptions at EOL (End of Life)
((hugs)) hand in there.
All I can say is that I am truly sorry that you are hurting. 💗 None of this is your fault. Please believe that. You cannot blame yourself.
You made choices that you felt were appropriate. They were appropriate. How could you have known this would happen? You did nothing wrong.
We are here. You have support from this forum.
Take care.