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Hi, My Mom has had Dementia for 7 -8years. I already been experiencing anticipatory grief for awhile. I feel like I already lost my Mom. My last visit was the worst visit I had. Her condition seems to be exhilarating in the last Month.? She has lost the ability to walk and her appetite has gone downhill. The Hospice nurse in her opinion told us Mom maybe has 2 weeks. The reality of that has hit me hard. It is her opinion but what if she is right in her assessment of my Mom. I didn’t think it could hurt anymore but the thought of Mom passing is different then the other grief I been feeling. I know there is appointment time to die but it’s hard knowing it’s coming to an end. Thoughts and prayers accepted. My Mom is a woman of faiths.Thank you

West, I am so sorry for your situation. It is never easy losing our mom.

May The Lord give you grieving mercies, strength, comfort and peace during this difficult time.

Great big warm hug!
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Westsign Jun 4, 2025
Thank you for your kind words
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We just experienced this in December when my MIL's LTC facility recommended she go on hospice. Within days of transitioning her we were called in because her heart rate dropped a lot. It was a mere 30 minutes after we arrived that she passed. The hospice team knows what they are doing. Trust their assessments. I'm sorry you have to go through this but no one gets to stay here forever. I'm pleased to know she has faith. Praying for her and over her (and for yourself) will help you bear it. May you receive peace in your heart between now and then and after.
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Westsign Jun 4, 2025
Thank you for words. Sorry for your loss.
Its awful to see a loved one decline
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You are correct when you say that anticipatory grief is very different from the actual grief that comes after a loved one dies.
And only God knows that day and time that He will call your mom Home, so even though the hospice nurse said a few weeks, she is not God.
Hospice told me at least 4 different times that my late husband would be dying soon, yet each time he continued to live. That is until he didn't.
And by that time, while I was sad to lose my dear husband, I was also relieved that he didn't have to suffer anymore, and that he was now in heaven with his Lord and Savior.
So while I know you don't want to lose your mom physically, like you said you already have mentally, so don't be surprised that along with the grief of her death will also come relief.
God bless you as you take this final journey with your mom and just make sure that you leave nothing left unsaid with her as hearing is the very last sense to go.
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Westsign Jun 4, 2025
Thank you for your response. Your right there is appointment time. To be absent from the body is to be presence of God
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What a long road your precious mother has had with dementia. She must be so very tired. My mom went three weeks from the time she had no food until she died. It became impossible to predict when she might go. Your mother will leave this earth exactly when she’s meant to, and I’m sure she’ll well know your love and care. Imagine her being welcomed into heaven and being free of life’s troubles and pains, healed and whole. I’m sorry you’re going through this, it’s hard I know. I wish you both rest and peace
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Westsign Jun 4, 2025
Thank you for your kind words
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Westsign, similar situation going on with my Mom. She is 70 years old and is suffering from the nasty Early Onset Alzheimer’s. She had a rapid decline 6 weeks ago and is now in the actively dying phase. Feels like I am losing her twice.

My advice: Trust and accept the estimated time Hospice gave you. Make sure hospice is keeping her as comfortable as possible. Do not be surprised if it gets even harder visiting, especially in the actively dying phase. I am praying for you, all of us, going through what this terrible disease dishes out.
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Westsign Jun 4, 2025
Thank you for your response, Your right you feel like your loosing them twice.
Its awful but don’t want her to suffer anymore
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I'm so very sorry. It is hard to be joyful about a death, but we should try to keep in mind that our loved one may be experiencing joy themselves in an afterlife that we cannot imagine until we ourselves experience it.

When my mom died at 95 after 5 years of dementia, I was sad but also glad that her suffering was over. You may come to view your mom's passing in this way, and I wish you peace.
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Westsign Jun 4, 2025
Thank you for your response.
It is hard but she won’t have to suffer anymore.
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I want to thank everyone who responded. God bless you all and I will follow up with post when my Mom passes away. It’s very sad
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It would not matter if you knew the day, the hour, the minute of her passing. When that moment came it would still be just as painful as if you had no knowledge.
Your mom, you say, is a woman of faith. That should be of comfort to her and to you. Doesn't matter if you or are not a person of faith, just knowing that your mom is at peace with her belief should be of comfort.
For now, when you see mom talk to her, tell her you love her and that she is a good mom. (I can tell this from what you have written)
Tell her that she has prepared you and that you will be alright and that you know she will always be by your side. And she will be, you will hear her, smell her or catch a glimpse of her when you need it or when you least expect it.
🙏
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Westsign Jun 4, 2025
Thank you for your kind words
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HI, my heart goes out to you. Being a woman of Faith in Christ Jesus and firm in the belief that the Holy Scripture is indeed Holy and comes from our Creator with all instruction for this life and eternity and very clearly states that our Lord and Savior Christ Jesus will come to take us to a place He has prepared for us all those who believe in the Son of God. Don't keep looking at your mom in only a physical way, but focus on God's promise of bringing the soul of a believer to an unfathomable place of peace, rest and tranquility. You have been given exceptional grace that your mom declared her True Faith in the True God. What a blessed comfort for your own soul too.
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Westsign Jun 5, 2025
Thank you for your kind and comforting words
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Just wishing you peace as you navigate this difficult time.
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Westsign Jun 5, 2025
Thank you for you response
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(((((((((((((((((((HUG))))))))))))))))))))))

Prayers and Blessings to you both.
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Westsign Jun 19, 2025
Thank you for your reply
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I remember the shock of hearing that my mum was expected to die within weeks. The fact that I had already worked out that Mum wouldn't see another year didn't make it any easier.
Like you, I already felt like I'd lost my mum to dementia, yet it still hurt so much.

I think what helped was realising that my pain and sadness were so acute because the love I had was so strong. If I didn't care, I wouldn't feel so bad.

Also, I was scared. I didn't know if I could cope with watching Mum die. But, I found that I was stronger than I ever realised.

When I visited, I sat by her side and talked to her, sang her favourite hymns to her. I made sure that she was comfortable and liaised with the nurses to make sure she had adequate pain medication, etc.

Knowing that I did what I could to help ease her passing, gave me comfort. I'd sat up all night with Mum when it seemed she was slipping away. I went home in the morning for a rest, when her breathing had got stronger, then my brother phoned me just after lunchtime with the news that Mum had died. I think she was waiting for him.

We all cope in different ways. It's sad and scary, but you will find your own way through this. Be kind to yourself.
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Westsign Jun 19, 2025
Thank you for sharing it is painful.
My Mom passed away on June 8th.
I went to visit her on June 6th I knew it would be the last I would see her. We sang hymns and songs she was medicated. Told her I love her and anything else I could think of.
She is in Paradise
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Westsign, I’m sorry for your loss but I’m glad your last visit was pleasant. I hope it was comforting.
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