She can brush them herself. I have gotten children's toothpaste and brush with her, but she walks around with the brush and tries to get my attention off of it or tries to set it down somewhere. She sometimes gets angry and hands it back to me.
I don't understand why people are mad at Scottdenny? Maybe a comment he made was removed??? I took his comment of March 10, 2015 as a son saying now he has the chance to do some of the things for his mother that she did for him as an infant and young child. It's so true. My siblings and I were given a great gift when my mother, who never wanted any one to take the time to do things for her while she was healthy, let us help her with activities of daily living during the final months of her life. Putting lotion on her was a great way to feel you are doing something to help her feel better and she was so grateful and loved having lotion rubbed on her arms, legs, and back. Giving her a foot massage, helping her take a bath, whatever: it was wonderful to have these special moments with mom accepting our caring love like she did for us. By the way, in addition to the suggestions I previously made regarding toothbrushing, if you loved one is able to chew sugarless gum it can help remove food particles from the teeth, makes you salivate which is also good for your teeth and can freshen ones breath. Another suggestion for those who are resistant is to make a bit of a game of it; if the person is very low functioning they may enjoy brushing a doll or stuffed animals teeth as part of a ritual before brushing their own. Or letting your loved one (with hand over hand assistance for safety if needed) help you brush your teeth (just for a few seconds) to remind them of the feeling in a less threatening manner. Toothbrushing is a very very sensory intensive activity and can be very aversive to people. Take it slow. Starting with a small wash cloth on the outside of the mouth and, over time, wiping the front teeth and eventually the rest of the teeth may be less aversive. Using a toothette (pink sponge on a stick as used in hospitals) as someone mentioned, a vibrating toothbrush (start by having them just enjoy the vibratory sensation on their hands and eventually on face before going into the mouth). There is such a thing as an attachment for a water pik that is a low flow devise so the water is going in much more gently than with the normal pressure of a water pik. The temperature of the water for any kind of teeth cleaning can make a huge difference to some people. Extremely cold water may be painful for someone with sensitive teeth. Having a little basin or cups or whatever to rinse and spit into can make it easier to do (by you or your loved one) while seated. Even right after a meal, right at the table at home could be part of a ritual. Take it slowly, take it gently, keep your sense of humor, put some music on. etc.. These are just some ideas: but my ideas are based on experience with loved ones as well as in my former profession as an occupational therapist. I also want to mention that for SOME, use of antidepressants and/or anti anxiety medications can make such a huge difference in the quality of life of persons who are agitated, angry, confused and/or scared as so many persons with dementia are. The people who care for them MAY also benefit for the sake of their own ability to cope with some of these medications. You may be more contented, patient, etc. if you are feeling loss of control of your life due to the demands of caregiving. Be sure to give yourself a break. I have told my husband that as my disease (frontotemporal dementia) progresses that my family will help and going to a good adult daycare may help him to enjoy life and be more able to guide me as needed. I accept that there is a very good chance I will have to go into a nursing home someday. I just hope for kind, compassionate, patient care. If I am bedridden and minimally aware of my surroundings I hope that my dog (or my future dog) can spend time with me and also that I can have a big teddy bear to hold. These are comforting things, not childish things. Best of luck and love to all. Rosie
Johnjoe of ireland...I know this is not part of this thread...but have you tried 'sTrazadone? It's not a very good anti-depressant but it seems to work really well for those with sleeping problems, Blessings to you, Lindaz
You can find the sponges that are on plastic sticks that you can use to "brush" with if your mom can't or won't take the brush. Sometimes, toothbrushes can be painful and you never really know how hard to press down to brush their teeth and they will fight against brushing. Some of the sponges or foam brushes are filled with a cleaning agent that with gentle use, can clean a person's teeth fairly well. That, and with a dental checkup is about all you can do with a person with dementia or Alzheimer's especially when they are up in their 80's and above. Just be glad they have teeth so they can chew something. Baby food that has been ground up has also been used in place of beef. There are many types of can beef, pork, chicken or ham if you don't like the idea of baby food. At least you're getting food down them and then try to talk them into the foam brushes before ending the "nightly duty of getting them ready for bed". Pargirl, you are exactly right in saying "it is what it is" and you can't do anything about it except try and try again. JohnJoe, you're way across the pond aren't you? people in their 80's really don't need sleeping aids because they fall asleep at the drop of a hat anyway but taking her off those is a first step. Usually, activity makes a person ready for sleep. You say she used to be active once but is not anymore. It sounds like her care is left up to you and you alone so I know it's tiring but you really need to find an activity that you can do together that will tire her out. If she can concentrate on anything, play a board game,, like monopoly; or play a card game, checkers, anything that make her concentrate on something and use her mind. If a short walk is possible, go walking with her up and down the block right before bedtime. Either a soak in the tub with really warm water with bubble bath is also relaxing and make her ready for bed. Keeping her awake during the day will help too. You didn't say what your circumstances are but if you work, who watches her during the day while you're at work? If she doesn't have a pet, maybe a puppy will keep her awake and active. Having an activity like taking it outside will pep her up. If her Alzheimer's is too advanced and she's housebound, maybe she can stay awake with TV or radio. Basically, find some activity to do right before bedtime can help her sleep soundly. good luck in finding what works.
I agree with uncalled for remark. IF your loved one has the money to go into a facility and you are fortunate that it's a good one, that is wonderful. There is NO way my mother would have moved in here with me due to her anxiety.....wouldn't even take the med. we DID give to her for it. Is drugging someone so badly that they are a zombie better than going into a home where they can be taken care of and it doesn't disrupt your own families life? I know my mother would have never ever wanted that. We are jumping on you and I'm sorry about that. Yes, they did take care of us but we grew OUT of the "awkward" and "rebellious" stage. Sadly, they will not. I know I am a great caregiver/taker for my dad 93, my mom dem/alz facility, and NOW my grand kids (just had one for 2 days due to strep and I'm sick too). Anyway, back to the teethbrushing....we tried getting a smaller or child's toothbrush. That seemed to help also. Now, again sadly, it is not happening very often due to her decline. She had the most gorgeous teeth and it saddens me that she can't keep them clean. Just another jpart of this long, evil journey. Good Luck and God Bless. Again, sorry Scottdeny. Keep posting.....
Those who suggested milder toothpaste might be the answer for some people. I have noticed as I get older that the toothpaste I used to use really starts to burn my mouth before the two minute timer on my brush is up. Switched to milder toothpaste and switched the brush from two minutes to one minute and it does help.
I'd highly recommend searching YouTube for videos from an educator named Teepa Snow. I'm not sure in which video (perhaps the one about bathing?), but she talks about a hand-over-hand technique which I found worked really well when I was a professional caregiver. I know for me, if someone came at my mouth with a foreign object, it would freak me out and I'd refuse to participate. However, if the toothbrush was in my hand and someone was guiding it to my mouth, I might have a better chance of my motor memory kicking in and my arm/mouth remembering what to do. I found that if I used hand-over-hand to get the person started, they'd either just go ahead with brushing, or I could then mime brushing my own teeth or provide verbal reminders like, "make sure to get this (pointing to the left) side." Of course, like anything with dementia, no trick works for everyone, which is why forums like this are so important--so you can get some ideas to find out what will work for you and your care receiver. Best of luck to you!
My mom sometimes needs reminding to brush, sometimes even help remembering where the bathroom is. So, if I don't lead her there after a meal and she's goes and sits down - it's all over - no brushing after that meal - she's planted and not going to move.
However, since she hasn't been good about brushing her teeth, she's going to have a lot of teeth pulled (has infections). Her dentist gave her a special prescription toothpaste to use to strengthen her teeth. This doesn't take the place of not brushing but is supposed to help the situation. You might ask your Mom's dentist if this would help. But I'll warn you that it's $10/tube and I don't remember the ounces - it's not a trial-size but it's not huge, either.
Another issue is that many seniors' medication gives them dry mouth. One person here mentioned ACT. Another thing that helps with dry mouth (which promotes tooth decay) is to use something like Biotene. There are generics for Biotene, by the way, because Biotene is more expensive than regular mouthwash and you can save a little with the store brands.
Also, there are now little candies that are specifically meant to help deter dry mouth.
You didn't mention dry mouth, but with it being so common, I thought I'd throw in a few things that would address that, just in case.
Scottdenny was mild to some of the comments I have read. Mother will either not brush her teeth, do a pitiful attempt, or just flat refuse. She also has an issue with food caking up, so we have to brush and floss them for her. Just as a note, she takes Alendronate once a week. If a tooth needs to be pulled, the dentist will not touch it, because she takes that, and refers her to a oral surgeon. BTW this is usually out of pocket. We also have her use a rinse to help reduce cavities. It doesn't but we can hope. She has sensitive teeth so a water pik is out of the question. Good luck everyone.
Hello JohnJoe! My 87 year-old mom also had a bad reaction to some of the sleeping pills she was given and ended up getting very combative. Therefore, we discontinued the sleeping pills as well. However, might I suggest possibly trying some herbal tea with your mum? If you think she might drink it, some very good calming, relaxing herbal teas that may help her sleep include Chamomile, Hops, Lavender and Skullcap. Also, if she becomes anxious you could also try Valerian Root. My mother also hallucinates at times but did not do well with the antipsychotic drug her doctor gave her either. However, another option is possibly asking the doctor if an anti-anxiety medication such as Xanax might help. You could also try giving her some Benadryl before she goes to bed. Best of luck to you!
Sometimes you just keep trying things until you find something that works. Gentle reminders, saying 'you brush your teeth while we talk', try different flavors of toothpaste. It's not always easy but you do what you can. My dad wears dentures so mouth care is easier and I brush his dentures for him but that doesn't work if there are natural teeth. You can also contact your local chapter of the Alzheimer's Association, they should be able to give you tips on how to manage dementia behaviors. good luck.
I love the Spin Brush! Maybe if you brush your teeth with her at the same time might help. Alzheimer's patients have a tendency to try "not" to do what you ask of them. Why? I have no idea, but I think it is just their way of trying to have some control and decision making skills left for themselves.
Unfortunately dementia patients don't even remember what a toothbrush is. My mother LOVED makeup and fixing up. When this first started she would brush every other day. She's in a facility now and they are lucky if they can get her to brush once a week. They are VERY good and I have seen it first hand what they have to deal with. Sometimes she just isn't going to do it. Sad after what she was so proud of but it is what it is. Might be cruel to say but dementia is cruel. You can only do your best. If it's only once a week, then that's what it is. God Bless
The reason I began getting children's toothpaste, is because the adult toothpaste burned her mouth. I put the paste on for her and I brush at the same time, but she still tries to get out of doing it. These are the tricks I have tried. I appreciate the comments to use alternate tools.
Hi all Caregivers. May I ask a different question concerning another problem. Im the full time Carer to My Who's 86 years and had been diagnosed with Alzheimer's two years ago. Mum is not active anymore, as due to a long active and hard Life, She's worn out. Mother is finding it very difficult to sleep at night, as since She spends so much time in bed during the day, Her sleep is all used up. Mother had been taking sleeping tablets, on prescription to aid sleeping, but has had awful dreams, and hallucinations, so the sleeping tablets are NO MORE, NEVER..can You suggest any other safer method of aid sleeping at night for My Mum, please.? Thank You from John Joe, in County Cork, Ireland.
Discussed the lack of oral hygiene with my spouse's doctor. Doc doesn't feel it's a 'big deal.' It seems the lack of tooth brushing and bathing go hand-in-hand. Husband hides tooth brushes, but then he was never much on tooth and gum maintenance. He only has 5 teeth left. Most have decayed and needed pulling. Gum disease is apparent. When I manage to get a toothbrush in his mouth, his gums flow with blood. It's awful. His regular dentist told him not to come back since husband has a negative and surly attitude towards the hygienist. Have taken him to several dentists. The most they do is look in his mouth, pick around at the few teeth remaining, tell him to rinse out with a mouthwash and his check-up is done. Bought electric toothbrushes, pics, floss, every flavor of toothpaste, but nothing changes his poor hygiene. Scotty, I found your comment interesting. Walk in my shoes because no one else would dare and then tell me all about my husband's mother 'being there for her son' because she was not. My husband married me to take the place of his mother and after 49 years of babysitting, if he refuses to 'brush' and fights with every warm body that tries to help him, so be it. If it wasn't for me, my spouse would be dead! And to be frank, his teeth is one of my least concerns!
Drinking water helps when all else fails. Better to get your teeth flushed with water than a sugary drink, etc. I know of one kids song and I am sure there are more about brushing teeth that makes it kind of fun...I think the song is by Raffi, who is enjoyable for both adults and children to listen to. see: metrolyricsbrush-your-teeth-lyrics-raffi.html other fun songs to listen to or caregiver can sing are: littlesmileslv/blog/tooth-themed-songs-to-get-kids-to-brush-with-lyrics/ The auditory nerve goes to so many parts of the brain so rhythmic music is very good for all of us. If your mom has some favorite music maybe you can pick out a two minute version to listen to while brushing teeth. There are probably lots more. I believe in making things fun for all. The vibrating toothbrush is a great idea. Many people love this sensory input. Many kids I worked with (before my diagnosis of FTD) found teeth brushing to be aversive. By playful attitudes and slowly increasing the amount of time one is asked to brush along with vibrating toothbrushes, modeling, and music, many children came to enjoy it. Best of luck! Rosie (former pediatric occupational therapist)
I remind Mom, but don't push her or stand over her if possible. Sometimes it takes putting the toothpaste on the brush for her; sometimes we brush our teeth together; and because Mom has upper dentures, I kid her about how cool it must be to take hers out to brush them and she teases me back by showing me how she pushes them out....then we are half way home. Best in your journey.
I remind Mom, but don't push her or stand over her if possible. Sometimes it takes putting the toothpaste on the brush for her; sometimes we brush our teeth together; and because Mom has upper dentures, I kid her about how cool it must be to take hers out to brush them and she teases me back by showing me how she pushes them out....then we are half way home. Best in your journey.
A little delayed response, but I here's what I do, since my mother can still actually brush her teeth--her problem is forgetting to do it. I just get her electric toothbrush, place a little paste on it, set it near the sink, and then I say, "Oh, I see you put toothpaste on your brush, were you going to brush or just leave it sitting there?" I say this in a nice tone of course. To which she will say, "Oh, yes, I knew I was forgetting something." She then thinks SHE is the one who put the paste on and just forgot to brush. Works better for me making her think I am not the one who is reminding her. Sometimes the lack of short term memory helps out a bit. :)
And to the OP, I have the same issue with my mother, and it's heart-wrenching. As far as getting her to brush her teeth, it's been hit or miss. I find that if I've been with her for several hours, and she's in a good mood, she'll be more apt to brush or allow me to clean her partial denture. Another thing you can try is getting her doctor or dentist to prescribe Peridex. It's an anti-microbial mouth rinse, usually used to prevent infection in people who have had an extraction or other mouth surgery. It will stain her teeth slightly, and I don't know about long-term use, but if her mouth is in really bad shape, for now, it's a lifeline. Good luck!
My husband is more cooperative when he knows he is going to visit someone who he doesn't ordinarily see - like for an older cousin's 90th birthday party. He will extend himself and allow a sponge bath, especially if I have given him an anti-anxiety medication 1/2 hour before (like Xanax or Calm Forte). I don't want to overdo the Xanax - was told to only use it 1-2x a week.
Ferris1 - Stop telling people that one thing or another "doesn't matter" because their loved one has a "terminal illness!!!" I am so tired of reading that comment from you. Everything that concerns a caregiver enough to ask about here, matters. People can live upwards of 20 years with Alzheimer's. Neglecting someone's dental health causes terrible pain and other health issues, which in turn compound the dementia. And even if it didn't, these people are human, remember? A short time ago they were just like you and me. If I were in that position, I certainly wouldn't want my caregiver to let my teeth just rot. That's insane. Anyone who feels such indifference is not cut out to be a caregiver...or maybe they just don't care.
We are all trying to cope with the same difficult task's. My Mom has Alzheimer's since 2013, prior to this She was the cleanest most spotless Person I had ever known. Now My Mom refuses to wash Her teeth, or take a shower. I try to encourage Her, but Mom insists, saying NO. I cannot boss My Mother about, but It worries Me because I feel if Mom had regular showers, it might eliminate the dreaded UTI s, or at least minimise them.
By the way, in addition to the suggestions I previously made regarding toothbrushing, if you loved one is able to chew sugarless gum it can help remove food particles from the teeth, makes you salivate which is also good for your teeth and can freshen ones breath. Another suggestion for those who are resistant is to make a bit of a game of it; if the person is very low functioning they may enjoy brushing a doll or stuffed animals teeth as part of a ritual before brushing their own. Or letting your loved one (with hand over hand assistance for safety if needed) help you brush your teeth (just for a few seconds) to remind them of the feeling in a less threatening manner. Toothbrushing is a very very sensory intensive activity and can be very aversive to people. Take it slow. Starting with a small wash cloth on the outside of the mouth and, over time, wiping the front teeth and eventually the rest of the teeth may be less aversive. Using a toothette (pink sponge on a stick as used in hospitals) as someone mentioned, a vibrating toothbrush (start by having them just enjoy the vibratory sensation on their hands and eventually on face before going into the mouth). There is such a thing as an attachment for a water pik that is a low flow devise so the water is going in much more gently than with the normal pressure of a water pik. The temperature of the water for any kind of teeth cleaning can make a huge difference to some people. Extremely cold water may be painful for someone with sensitive teeth. Having a little basin or cups or whatever to rinse and spit into can make it easier to do (by you or your loved one) while seated. Even right after a meal, right at the table at home could be part of a ritual. Take it slowly, take it gently, keep your sense of humor, put some music on. etc.. These are just some ideas: but my ideas are based on experience with loved ones as well as in my former profession as an occupational therapist.
I also want to mention that for SOME, use of antidepressants and/or anti anxiety medications can make such a huge difference in the quality of life of persons who are agitated, angry, confused and/or scared as so many persons with dementia are. The people who care for them MAY also benefit for the sake of their own ability to cope with some of these medications. You may be more contented, patient, etc. if you are feeling loss of control of your life due to the demands of caregiving. Be sure to give yourself a break. I have told my husband that as my disease (frontotemporal dementia) progresses that my family will help and going to a good adult daycare may help him to enjoy life and be more able to guide me as needed. I accept that there is a very good chance I will have to go into a nursing home someday. I just hope for kind, compassionate, patient care. If I am bedridden and minimally aware of my surroundings I hope that my dog (or my future dog) can spend time with me and also that I can have a big teddy bear to hold. These are comforting things, not childish things. Best of luck and love to all.
Rosie
However, since she hasn't been good about brushing her teeth, she's going to have a lot of teeth pulled (has infections). Her dentist gave her a special prescription toothpaste to use to strengthen her teeth. This doesn't take the place of not brushing but is supposed to help the situation. You might ask your Mom's dentist if this would help. But I'll warn you that it's $10/tube and I don't remember the ounces - it's not a trial-size but it's not huge, either.
Another issue is that many seniors' medication gives them dry mouth. One person here mentioned ACT. Another thing that helps with dry mouth (which promotes tooth decay) is to use something like Biotene. There are generics for Biotene, by the way, because Biotene is more expensive than regular mouthwash and you can save a little with the store brands.
Also, there are now little candies that are specifically meant to help deter dry mouth.
You didn't mention dry mouth, but with it being so common, I thought I'd throw in a few things that would address that, just in case.
Mum, please.? Thank You from John Joe, in County Cork, Ireland.
see:
metrolyricsbrush-your-teeth-lyrics-raffi.html
other fun songs to listen to or caregiver can sing are:
littlesmileslv/blog/tooth-themed-songs-to-get-kids-to-brush-with-lyrics/
The auditory nerve goes to so many parts of the brain so rhythmic music is very good for all of us. If your mom has some favorite music maybe you can pick out a two minute version to listen to while brushing teeth.
There are probably lots more. I believe in making things fun for all. The vibrating toothbrush is a great idea. Many people love this sensory input. Many kids I worked with (before my diagnosis of FTD) found teeth brushing to be aversive. By playful attitudes and slowly increasing the amount of time one is asked to brush along with vibrating toothbrushes, modeling, and music, many children came to enjoy it. Best of luck! Rosie (former pediatric occupational therapist)