Emotional harassment and threatening. Advice?

How old is your mother? Does she have a diagnosis of some form of dementia?

My mother about 50 and she said she has bipolar.

Dear someone, you have a lot of issues going on with yourself and mother/family. It sounds as though you and your mother had drug issues? The system isn't perfect, but you need to find different organizations by asking other people, looking in phone book, or social services, for referral to rehabs (if you still need help in that area), counseling, etc. Groups such as AA, NA, AlaNon at good networks to meet people who could direct you to other organizations or people who might be able to help you. You don't mention much of your current situation -- homeless, live with someone, working, etc. The FIRST thing is getting YOURSELF 'right'/independent. If you can't take care of yourself, you are not in position to care for your children. There are programs for women to get on their feet, but you have to look and ask, ask, ask questions!! If at all possible, and you probably have low self-esteem, I can't emphasize getting an education or training. Years ago, community colleges had programs for single women to get education. I overheard conversation while taking typing about Pell Grants. NO one told me...but I thought 'why waste my time when I could put it towards college credits'. I took classes that would help me in getting a job. I had no family support to watch my kids. I didn't go out to date or find a man to rescue me...I put all that on hold. Look at big picture! It was VERY, VERY HARD, but when the kids went to bed, I started my homework. I had very little sleep for long time. I always had my children, so not the same as your situation, but my goal was to be INDEPENDENT. No one was going to help me but me. I envy the kids that had family support to finish school or help with kids. Some colleges or social services have help with daycare. I burned out and never finished college, but got enough credits to get myself a decent job. I hope I've helped in some way. Good luck.

What does this mean: "she was threatening me telling me that she's going to call CPS if I try to go after my son and she always has to hold my kids father." What are you saying about the father of your kids? Does your Mom have any solid evidence against you regarding keeping your children if she goes to the CPS?

I'm trying to determine if her threat to go to the CPS has any real validity to it. What do you think? Are you afraid of what will happen if she complains to them about you or are you confident there is nothing bad that CPS will find if they investigate your Mom's claims?

I'm asking about this because this threat is the real basis of your fears and problems of your Mom's.
Did you violate a court order when you last saw the father of your children and became pregnant with your last child? Or was it okay for you to be seeing him?
This is another critical question that influences your whole situation.

Without these answers it's hard to say much to you about the whole situation. I wish you the very best.

I worked with CASA (Court Appointed Special Advocate) for children. Reading this post reminds me so much of many of the homes the Foster Children came from. There are a lot of stories out there. The ones who suffer and will suffer for their entire life and have many issues due to these ADULTS? are the children. My heart goes out to everyone in this picture. She could call CASA for some advice. CASA is a link between Family Services the Courts, and the parents and Children

Excellent post Oregongirl. Innerchild you are so right. There is A LOT of help out there. Sometimes we are stifled by the big picture and become overwhelmed. I would definitely call a social worker and start there. In our community they have homes for moms that need to get on their feet. I agree that you can't help your kids until you yourself are healthy. Forget your mom and work on what's important.....your kids and yourself. If she REALLY is bipolar, she is either high or at a low and is no good for the kids either unless she is on the right dose of medication which I hope she is. Please seek help fast so that you can get back on track and help your kids have a great and healthy mom. Good luck and God Bless

Thank you Pargrl....I hope she takes our advice. Certain drugs mixed and taken at different times of day have worked with depression. I have seen it work. A person become who they were meant to be and the demons have been overpowered by the medication and the person can begin to heal. To many are "winging it."" They think they can cure the depression on their own. It is a serious illness and needs to be addressed by a professional before the depression causes even more damage. It is an illness and needs an antibiotic (anti depression med) is how I look at depression.

Totally agree with that. So many people think it's a crutch but if you have diabetes you have to take something and the same goes with depression. It's a chemical imbalance so you have to make it balanced. My heart goes out to the kids. I know they need stability. Someone....I know you think WE think it's so easy for us to tell you these things. But it's because we have either been through it or going through difficult things that we are able to offer advice. Please don't think we are lecturing here. No judgement, we just care. You have all of our prayers and support.

Someone: Please add some pauses, such as periods since it's hard to discern what you mean.

Innerchlild5: I don't recommend the worldly addiction programs. Reformers Unanimous is a bible-based support group that works.

Innerchild5-- I DO recommend the "worldly addiction programs". Actually, I recommend whatever program works for you. I am a recovering alcoholic with 18 years continuous sobriety. And I am a Christian with a great relationship with my God. The path to sobriety is different for each person. Why is she refusing to give up your child? Are you still using? Or does she disagree with your choices? No need to answer me, these are questions for yourself. Be sure you are clean and sober, can take care of your children, can support your kids, have a decent place to live, can get them to and from school and feed them. If you are doing all that I don't see how she can refuse but sounds like you will need to go to court. There a lots of free legal aid sources. If you are still using and she's clean/sober then she should keep your child and try to get the rest of them. I know this isn't supportive but it is the reality of the situation you are in. I am saying all this to encourage you to get help in whatever area you need to take care of yourself and your kids. Sobriety is a tough road early on but does get easier the further away from the last drink/drug. Good luck! I wish you well.

This seems to be more a mental health issue. It seems you are saying that your mom has custody of your son, an is being verbally aggressive toward you. If the mother is bipolar, she could be having mood swings, that's effecting your relationship. If you are her biological daughter, you could also be bipolar being it's in the family tree. However, since she has had custody of your child, maybe the family would benefit from counseling. If you don't have money, you can always to the local county mental health department for help.

The first thing you can do for yourself is have your tubes tied so you will not be reproducing children you cannot afford nor take care of. As a former CPS case manager, if your mother got custody and the child is still with her and thriving, why would CPS change that situation. If sounds like you doing risky behaviors yourself and need more education because I could hardly understand your spelling. What kind of example are you setting?