I am nearing 62 years old and planning to retire and relocate with my wife in the near future from a highly stressful career.
My elderly parents live independently in their own home fairly close to us. They are very financially secure as far as we are aware. However, our relationship has not been the best over the years. They have been very self-centered, secretive, cheap and refuse to discuss their future health plans with myself or my wife. My Mother has had some mental issues, but has always been very manipulative, selfish and has reacted very badly when we have mentioned our retirement plans and relocation. I have attempted to discuss my parent’s future health plans with my only brother who resides in another state, but he backs away from any productive conversation and involvement.
In recent years, my parents have had several health issues, however they stubbornly will not seek appropriate medical care and treatment. They typically ask me about their health problems seemingly seeking my input, yet will not follow through with my guidance to receive specialized care. One possible reason not outside the realm of possibilities is that they are too cheap to pay the health insurance copayments. My brother exacerbates the situation by ‘self-diagnosing’ my parent’s symptoms over the internet encouraging them to even further delay proper medical attention.
My parents and brother have long histories of being insensible. My wife and I are very frustrated and feel that we waste our efforts and energy trying to engage my parents in any productive conversations. In particular, I often feel guilty, burdened and responsible for my parents well-being. In addition, we are dealing with many of our own health, life and family issues thus feeling extremely overwhelmed. We want to feel at peace with what we are capable and willing to do regarding the future of my parents.
Any insights would be greatly appreciated, thank you.