teachergear1 Asked October 2012
Why is mom SO hateful, mean and ALWAYS disrespectful to me?? I'm the ONLY one who has ever cared for her and visit her at the NH.
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hessaw Oct 2012
I agree NO MORE! But it would be nice to find a more caring facility. Wet and poopy does not make happy campers. Try to upgrade to a better nh.
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confused44 Oct 2012
I have been my mother's caregiver forever. I did doctor appts, took her shopping, took her everywhere she wanted to go. Now since I started working she has become very angry and very hateful to me. She has told me that she hates me on several occasions and when I tell her what she had said to me, she does not remember it and calls me a f'n liar and other things. I don't want to argue or fight with her so we don't talk anymore. Her doctor says it is early signs of dementia, but how do I help if she doesn't want anything to do with me.
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teachergear1 Oct 2012
That's the same question I have.
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Silver Oct 2012
Hope you find answers. I'm 65 taking care of my 90 year old mom at home. She won't allow home health and I have NO help. I know it's hard for you to have her in a home, but try to tell the administrator that your attorney will be contacting Medicare (if she is on it) and if that doesn't work threaten them with a local film crew to show how they are leaving your mom wet and poopy. Sometimes it works. I know it's frustrating. My mom is Always constipated......the doctors say no and she gets furious. It's like the become OBSESSED with their bowels. I hope you get answers.
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Bonfire Oct 2012
Seriously, I do think it's time for your mother to be put into a senior facility.
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fordellcastle Oct 2012
Contacting an attorney sound like a great idea. I know finances are a problem, so I found this site: http://www.kansaslegalservices.org/. It does state on the page this link directs you to that they help with senior problems such as abuse. What your Mom is enduring is definitely abuse, and she needs to be removed from that horrible place ASAP. I personally would call an ambulance to transport her to ER next time I visited and she was in such deplorable condition. Take a camera and photograph her, then call the police to come document her condition. They may agree to file charges. Please let us know what is being done for her. Naming the nursing home in an ad in your local newspaper with a request to contact you with other families reports of abuse or neglect at the home would be helpful. It;s not expensive, either. A letter to the editor with details of your efforts with staff and photos would do worlds of good as well asking for same. Give 'em hell!
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teachergear1 Oct 2012
BonnyW----Mom IS in a NH.
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teachergear1 Oct 2012
BonnyW--are you referring to my mom or Silver's mom? The original post is from me and about my mom....and poop digging.
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Bonfire Oct 2012
Sorry teachergear1 - I must've missed that part. But I agree that you should look into getting an attorney and asking the NH why she's allowed to be in her own poop. It may shake them up because let's face it - your mom is doing this for attention but that is not a rational behavior and she may need stricter supervision from the NH. It may also be a sign of severe anger and frustration over her own situation and her state of mind, so she is acting way out. My aunts did stuff like this before they finally died, and all we could do was watch, because they always found a way to do something or other that was so outrageous. The only alternative may to keep her sedated a lot, and I don't know if that's a good idea either. Maybe a total psych evaluation would be the next step - they may have better solutions. I hope so.
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teachergear1 Oct 2012
Gosh, you're right BonnyW in that a psych eval is in order. I shiver at the thought of it tho..she can't answer a question and just makes up a lie on the spot if you ask her a question. I can imagine the poor psych evaluator...he/she'd think everything mom said was true when in fact it is the opposite. I haven't been back to see her now in..gosh..10-11 days. That's the longest I've stayed away. I don't have gas money but DID get approved for disability two days ago. THANK GOD. Soon, I'll have a little money for gas and will go color her hair as it needs it badly. Thanks for the responses!!
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Bonfire Oct 2012
Don't underestimate the psych evaluator - they see this stuff all the time. If I've seen limited amount of stuff and figured it out, I'm sure they can do even more because they see this stuff all the time. So get her evaluated-they may have a good answer.
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teachergear1 Oct 2012
Mom has been on 18 different meds since her early 30's..she was bad wayy back then. I've had her re-evaluated each year by her med doc. He tweaks but she'll always be this way. She was hateful and mean when I was a child too. It's the poop-picking I want to get her help with..it's SO unsanitary and they don't watch or help her in the bathroom..then she EATS!
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