My mother refuses to social distance. I am in the Chicago area. Over the last month she was preparing to move, selling her home and selling things online. She had a parade of people through her house to sell things putting her at risk. Going up and talking to any neighbor she can find. Her senior home help person has been coming. The helper doesn't have a car so she brings her husband who works at a grocery store (yes a grocery store). She finally moved into an apartment a couple days ago. I thought it was all over and she would social distance. She tells me she needs the home helper and her husband to help her set up her place. She is now in a different county and she is going to pay the home helper and husband directly to help her. I have told her over and over again what is going on and that she needs to social distance and not allow anyone into her home. She is putting my wife and kids in jeopardy for needlessly exposing herself to a grocery store worker. How to I explain I can't continue to try to help her if she continues this and will not come to her house and expose myself to her and people she keeps coming in contact with. She also says outlandish things like she is going to get her nails done when she knows full well they are closed. It is like she is just trying to ignore everything that is happening and enjoys get me riled up about it.
I'm not being flippant - I genuinely can't see what else you can do. I also can't see what your mother needs you to be there for, seeing as she has all the little helpers she seems to want.
Besides. Unless you have a really, really good reason to be in somebody's house, you shouldn't be entering it anyway.
It is extremely frustrating for you. I get that but you shouldn’t go see her. You know this. You acknowledge this. You don’t have any problem understanding the situation yourself. She is the one with the problem. Leave it there. Let it go. Don’t make it your problem any longer. You are wasting your breath and upsetting yourself.
Can you think of anyone else that could speak to her that she may possibly listen to? Can you type up a letter with a warning that looks official and would scare her? Or would she ignore that too?
Do you have the phone number of the helper? If so, I would call her and tell her she needs to take every precaution she needs to to keep Mom safe. Thats washing her hands when she comes into Moms house. Keeping her coat and items away from Moms. Wearing a mask. And allowing No One into the apt and that means her husband. Because he is still working, he is a risk to your mother. If this helper is from an agency, call them and tell them Mom is being put at risk because of the husband. To please have helper stop allowing husband in and she is to be abiding by all precautions.
Now for you and family. You should not be entering Moms apt. You all should be staying at home. Only going out when in need of food or excercize. If Mom needs anything, you leave it outside her apt door.
Not sure why people don't understand what "stay in place" means. Can't do much about Mom. But u can protect your family.
Review Officer went to see her next day with a view to ending service. Problem: client insists she needs one call a day. As she herself told me yesterday: our visits make her feel safe. In vain did I explain to her that, on the contrary, we are putting her at risk. "Just knowing you're coming" she said, gives her peace of mind. I suggested a phone call instead. Her family already does that.
She has anxiety. She has angina. Angina causes anxiety, anxiety causes angina. If ending service stresses her out so badly that when the paramedics are called her bp is up around 190 systolic (today) ...
What the heck are we to do?
Quarantining works, for sure. In fact it's a no-brainer - as long as *all* you have to consider is disrupting the spread of this virus. Not every exceptional case is as extreme as this one, either. Before long we will have to consider the unintended consequences of quarantining in more depth.
Do you think she understands the severity of the situation? Is that the problem?
My folks still have carers making house calls (needed) & were still shopping too. We've had a few chats about minimising all the risks they can. Setting up deliveries where possible etc.
I get you would be worried for your Mother's safety, but am not clear why it endangers you, your wife or kids? You don't visit her. She doesn't visit you right? If so, stop now. Doesn't have to be a threat like 'stop this Mother or I won't see you'. Just "we are not visiting for a while. It's safer for ALL of us".
I would not endanger myself by going to see her.