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I have been with my husband 21 years and have helped to take care of his father until he passed and for 18 of those years took care of his schizophrenic mother..... who now thinks I am the devil dye to medication changes. My husband had taken over my role watching after her until he had a massive stroke this past November...... his sister had a stroke 3 years prior. They are her POAs. There is a grandson, sisters son who is 30 and has a family but lives near by. It takes everything I have just to take care of my husband and try to keep the house running. My MIL has been untypically decent since his stroke but just had a medical issue and a short stay at the hospital.... we have lived on the edge of our seats for the past few years since the medication change sent her into psychotic episodes. She does still shower herself and gets dressed but she is not well. The nephew thinks that checking on her is enough. I know it is not. I can not deal with her thru another episode. She will refuse to be placed somewhere because she has "lifetime rights" but it is our house, it may have been transferred for a dollar but we have paid for it by paying their loans off and we have paid the taxes for at least 15 years. What do I have to do to have her placed some where? We areally in PA if that helps.

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Do not walk to an elder attorney but run to one! It helps to know how to protect your rights and how to protect your assets from MIL and her needs. You and your hubby shouldn't be on the streets because of placing MIL after one of her episodes. I do think that she should be placed where she can be taken care of and you should have peace of mind.
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Agreed, looking after your hubby and your MIL will drive you to physical and/or emotional collapse. How long ago did you buy the house? You want to avoid the whole gift issue should Medicaid be needed to keep MIL in a facility. Don't depend on your nephew to be any big help - he probably doesn't want to deal with MIL beyond the minimum he's now doing. Yes - an elder care attorney is your best bet. I have to think that MILs need for full-time care would over-ride any "life-time rights" she has to remain in the house.
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Make sure the attorney has a masterful knowledge of how real estate titles, assets, etc. and Medicaid work. There are lookback periods for transfers, asset tracing, etc. The attorney needs to be experienced with this type of law to know what the technicalities are. It varies by state. I can't stress it enough to get this info. It's important to know prior to applying for the Medicaid.
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How old is MIL? Next time she is hospitalized talk to the social worker at the hospital and tell them you can not longer care for her and work with them to find an appropriate placement.
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I would seek a legal opinion from an attorney on the real estate status. If you own, but she has life estate, there could be implications if she applies and receives Medicaid to pay for her long term care. It varies by state, but I'd find out what might happen under those circumstances.
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Thanks for the replies..... the house was transferred in 1998 and we have paid all taxes, repairs etc. Since then. We bought the house back then because they had huge outstanding medical bills from past hospitalizations that his father had took loans out to pay. So we bought the house and paid off those loans. Then the deed was transferred with life tenants clause. My father in law passed away 7 years ago and we have taken care of her and just let her have the whole house as to not rock the boat. For many reasons but most importantly, safety reasons, it is time for us to move up there. I had an appointment with a local ombudsman and today a social worker.... both at a loss for suggestions because the mental health system especially when elderly are involved, is sooo horribly broken in PA. Looks like we will be getting an attorney just to cover our butts.
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I can recall a thread from not that long ago where Medicaid billed the owners of the house after the life time tennent passed. I don't remember the details but somehow Medicaid had put a value on what it was worth monthly if the tennent had lived there - then times it by the number of months the tennent spent in the nursing home. The total bill was sent to the home owner. Soooo - before you do anything, find an elder care attorney who understands your situation.
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