My disabled mother, fighting cancer for years, had called me crying for help after learning large amounts taken from her bank & credit card by my sister living nearby. This happened several times during her incapacity & illness, 3-4 years, in addition to a more shocking "theft crime" by sister 3 years prior where Mom cried help to me, quote, " Please make it stop. I've only $13 left after discovering thousands taken recently without knowledge".
Below is an even more immoral pattern I wonder if families in this situation experience?
After mom's repeat cries to me about bank/cc/cash theft discoveries, mom would be upset saying now after confronting her daughter about money taken, mom said that daughter and grandkids would then abandon/not visit in response for a while. Mom hated lack of visitors, so would crack after a while, call daughter to return- but based on Daughter's manipulation that Mom cut contact with me, as "I am troublemaker, only likes to fight".
So, Mom cut me off many months, several times, as I live very far, no kids, and sister makes herself more valuable nearby, grandkids etc. Note, Mom had full time paid career staff minus evenings. Meanwhile her daughter rapidly spending moms money needed for future care costs, especially when Mom was not terminal, needing the money. This was a repeat pattern for years. All at sister's frivolous greed and callousness, and I lost months and years of time with Mom due to sister's manipulations against me.
Even though sister, a compulsive liar, tries afterwards to say That Mom forgave me each time afterwards. Is it not still in fact a crime for vulnerable person to say to me below happening to them?
- she won't return bank & cr cards when I ask for them back, excuses given and not returned, happens very often. Tens of thousands taken, statements don't lie.
-says out of $1,000 cash withdrawals weekly, Mom , quote, never sees or gets $700 of it.
-Mom says in fear will be abandoned from visits as was the pattern, if she raises money taken issue to daughter abusing her. She therefore covers up the truth to most everyone, in fear.
With my and my husband's witness to her cries, and my extended family wanting to believe the easier to handle "cover up false story" to benefit my sister, what am I to do? I have no peace of mind. Thank you for any replies.
Visit mom, but don't get drawn into the drama. If she starts in on the "woe is me", offer to call the authorities to help. If she declines, she's making a choice, isn't she?
In which case, you have no authority to act on her behalf. Unless she has dementia or is is some way vulnerable.
Does mom have cognitive issues?