My mom have been accusing her kids my dad and go as far as to even say there is someone coming in her house taking her things. Which she loves and hide her things thinking someone is stealing them.
I think that will stop only in later stages. It is a real common problem.
"I don't have a memory problem. I would remember something like that!"
She can't find her things. Her memory is going, so she can't remember where she put them. Her visual processing is going, too, so she doesn't notice things that are right in front of her. It isn't her doing, because she would remember where she put the things, right? Her ego, or self-respect, doesn't see her failures, so the only logical explanation is that someone moved or even stole her things. It's super annoying and hurtful to be accused, but remember, she's a wounded animal striking out. It's the pain and fear talking.
She won't stop accusing, but you can improve the situation by taking her side. "Oh no, Mom! What did they take this time? Isn't it annoying? No one should mess with your stuff." "No, I didn't take it, but I'd be glad to see if I can find it. Maybe it fell on the floor."
The more you can agree with her, or not contradict, the easier your life will be. If you can be her friend, not her teacher or critic, the more she will remember to trust you. The accusations won't go away, but they can get milder if she knows you will protect her pride and keep her safe.
The accusations aren't about you. They are about Mom's insecurities. Be on her side. This is extremely common. The paranoid accusatory stage only lasted a few months for my husband (it seemed like years while it was happening.) We can hope that your mom comes to feel more safe and trusting in your care, and soon!
"I don't have a memory problem. I would remember something like that!"
She can't find her things. Her memory is going, so she can't remember where she put them. Her visual processing is going, too, so she doesn't notice things that are right in front of her. It isn't her doing, because she would remember where she put the things, right? Her ego, or self-respect, doesn't see her failures, so the only logical explanation is that someone moved or even stole her things. It's super annoying and hurtful to be accused, but remember, she's a wounded animal striking out. It's the pain and fear talking.
She won't stop accusing, but you can improve the situation by taking her side. "Oh no, Mom! What did they take this time? Isn't it annoying? No one should mess with your stuff." "No, I didn't take it, but I'd be glad to see if I can find it. Maybe it fell on the floor."
The more you can agree with her, or not contradict, the easier your life will be. If you can be her friend, not her teacher or critic, the more she will remember to trust you. The accusations won't go away, but they can get milder if she knows you will protect her pride and keep her safe.
This is such a difficult job, isn't it?
The accusations aren't about you. They are about Mom's insecurities. Be on her side. This is extremely common. The paranoid accusatory stage only lasted a few months for my husband (it seemed like years while it was happening.) We can hope that your mom comes to feel more safe and trusting in your care, and soon!