My father (84) is talking to women online and tells them he is a widower which he is not.

Lovingdaughter1: I would be very angry with him! DO REMIND HIM THAT HE IS A MARRIED MAN AND HE IS NOT TO TRY TO PICK UP WOMEN! And oh yes, darn straight, there will be that gold digger woman who WILL scam him. You may want to look at bank statements to see if he's already funneled some money out.

We need more info to be more helpful. Your profile states that you are caring for someone with mobility issues. Is that person your father or another family member? Are your parents still married and living in the same household? Is your dad in the beginning stages of dementia? Has he confided in you about his online behavior? Does your mother (or present wife if not your mom) have a clue about any of this and is she taking it seriously?

You are right to be concerned, regardless of the details. Good luck with this sticky situation and let us know how it unfolds.

I would set parental controls and block the websites that can cause these problems.

Knowing if your father is mentally competent or not would help us greatly in answering your question dear.

My FIL is sexually fixated, although fortunately not tech savvy enough to find an online outlet. One of the first signs of his dementia was his inability to navigate around his computer, so my husband hid the browser while giving him desktop icons for his favorite sites, like fantasy sports that he played with family members. The idea to disconnect your dad from wi-fi is good, if that's how he accesses the internet.

Definitely find some way to keep an eye on his finances. Not only is scamming rampant, but many sex or chat sites harbor nasty viruses that may provide access to his financial information if any of it, i.e. credit cards or banking, is on his computer.

For him this may all seem like harmless fun, but if he's not careful he can end up in trouble. If he's talking to women (real or not) of his own age, no harm other than the above, but if he thinks he's talking to hot young girls... not only are they likely not real, they might be law enforcement. That would be really bad. :(

It would be worth the money to speak to an Elder law attorney. If your father has dementia, or needs to be evaluated for mental competence, the attorney will be able to guide through the process. There are legal steps to take to protect their finances, if he is incompetent. You need to protect your mother's financial future.

If your father is in a normal mental state with no diagnoses of Alzheimer's or Dementia, unfortunately, there isnt much you can do. However, at his age, there is a good chance he could be having issues. Without mentioning that you are aware of his online activities, have a discussion with both your parents and ask if they would consider giving you Power of Attorney. You can also offer to help them manage their finances, even so far as helping write checks for bills. Have an honest discussion with both parents and offer your help. Don't mention your father's online shenanigans. Ask to open joint checking account. Put it to the fact that at some point you may be responsible for paying their bills, and you'd feel better knowing everything was In order for them. How did you become aware of this? Does he brag about it or do you have access to his computer? If you have sibs, make sure you are all on the same page with Dad and Mom. You can even start a discussion about the elderly and these scams and tell your parents you're glad they're "too smart" to fall for any of them.

One of my tech friends suggested that turning off his wifi is one way to deal with inappropriate latte night online behaviors.

If he is on Match, you can make a complaint about him, using online name, then Match will turn off his profile.
Do you have online access to his checking account, saving accounts and credit card accounts? Then you can watch for unusual financial transactions. If you are not authorized to speak with bank or credit card issuers, you might want to become one. But it would require his authorization.
He needs to be warned that women online can be men from another country posing as women. This is a one major way that elders are defrauded financially. Can you discus with your father whether any of his online contacts have asked him for a loan or other financial assistance?
I wonder if your father is lonely or socially isolated. Has a friend or family member died recently? Does he go out regularly, such as to church or even grocery shopping?
I see that my very old clients , over 80 years, are often lonely. Thus they try to relieve their loneliness with the means available, such as only dating.
Also has your father been evaluated for Alzheimer's or other type of dementia recently? Urge him to see his physician.
I am glad you wrote about his behavior, it can have serious financial consequences if not caught in time.
Keep us posted about your father as online behaviors or misbehavior safe coo on among those with memory loss.

Hi lovingdaughter1
I don't have an answer for you but just to let you know that you are not alone. I am having the same problems with my 86 year old father as well. He has verbally told a woman who lives in the same elder care home as my parents that this woman is beautiful and that he loves her right in front of my mom. I asked my mom how she felt about this and she just laughed and said it doesn't bother her. But the thing is she doesn't understand he really means it. He has dementia. The strange thing is his brother divorced his wife very late in life for a silly reason which was not true of what he accused her of. And now I am afraid the same thing will happen to my parents as well. Hope someone has an answer for us.