I have a father in law that has a lot of health problems he has smoked himself into. He also has something like moderate dementia but the doctors say he doesnt have dementia. He has been incredibly stubborn about facing his failing health. He has moved in with us because he cant take care of his house anymore. He doesn't comprehend much of what goes on around him ever. But he still refuses to quit driving ( he is technically too blind to drive from macular degeneration but even when they wouldn't give him a license he drove without the id and he couldn't understand that without a valid drivers license that he had no insurance either. He faked his way into getting a license back with a vision test from his doctor but his RX is only correctable to 20/200, way above the 20/30 required here.) He also bounces his checking account every month because he cant figure it out and wont let anyone help him with it. I have been taking him to his doctors and giving him his meds for over a year now and it has been difficult because he is addicted to pain killers and tries to get high on them any chance he can. I have to keep them locked up, etc. He has been acting really wonky for a few weeks now but he has been unable to pay for all his meds because of the money issues and I couldnt get him to get better rx coverage and he is now in the gap so I thought it was that. For the past couple of weeks I have been having trouble with him not taking his meds when I give them to him ( he will swear up and down that he took the pills you are standing there holding even when you ask him how he could have taken them if they are right there.) I went in to take back the pills he hasnt been taking before he decided to down them all at once and discovered that he had a new rx that he was contraindicated for with his current rxs from a doctor that he doesnt go to in his name. So now he is sneaking doctor visits and getting other rxs without my knowledge. He has apparently been overdosing on it too because it was empty and the rx was from the 19th. So he has taken thirty days worth of meds in 15 days. He refuses to go in a home and my husband doesn't want to put him in one either. None of his siblings will be bothered to help with him but will raise a stink if I try to gain custody and " lock him down" so WTF am I supposed to do? I dont have the money to go to court with my relatives over this and the doctors arent any help, they dont even know why he acts so crazy and honestly, he is so sneaky and acts normal when he is there. Suddenly someone who cant answer even simple questions can do math in his head and play the memory games. What would happen if he OD's when Im handling most of his meds and kills himself? Thanks for any advise you can give me. Im so trapped between a rock and hard place.

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Have you thought of taking his car keys away? I know this sounds cruel, but sounds like he's dangerous on the roads if he can't see. He needs a complete physical to start with, then a complete review of all his meds to determine what he really needs to take, and possibly a mental health consult. Has his doctor suggested this? You need a baseline to start with. If his doctor has not done this and if he is unwilling to do this, you will need to find a new doctor. One thing I have learned since my mother has come to live with me is that you have to do what is best for your father-in-law and most especially what is best for you. It is easy for family to complain, but they don't have to take care of this loved one. Good luck to you.
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