Is paying yourself to take care of your parents considered elder abuse?

Yes. You have to have an income, benefits, healthcare, etc. IF they can't afford help then they can use what funds and supplements, eligibility they do have to seek care or residence elsewhere. This is a business decision not a family abandonment. You can't wake up 10 yrs from now when they pass and realize you've donated your prime working years and potential income with nothing left to support you in your senior years or retirement.
Sorry, it sounds harsh, but these are the very reasons for having a Formal employment contrAct and planB for when things aren't working out or situation changes.

I'm advocating for those who care for elder full time. If someone is expected to travel frequently to help parent because they don't want strangers coming in, or they won't spend money on lawn care, repairs, etc...then yes, there should be compensation for expenses and time especially when other sibs aren't equally pitching in time or expense.
I'm not talking about little favors, family visits, or time one elects to spend with their parent really visiting. But I know many who didn't grow up in a loving giving home and then parents have made no provisions other than to "expect that family should pay them back" for raising them. I wholly disagree on that one.

I am wondering if the $700 a month is an attempt to claim inheritance money that the ALF will take anyway? Medicaid will pay after all her money is used up, It is completely unfair for your brother to drain off money and for you to be getting nothing. I'd ask sil and brother if they are claiming the $700 a month on their taxes or are they counting that money as "gift" money which is tax free up to $14,000 per person a year? If they are claiming it as a gift, then you are really doing yourself a disservice to not demand the same amount for yourself. It sounds like they are trying to beat the system and unless you get this cleared up, I think the bad feelings will escalate, as well they should. Without knowing all the facts, it looks to me like your brother is getting his inheritance while leaving you out in the cold.

Can someone explain to me the anger over Medicaid? I see on here time and again where people appear to be angry that Medicaid does not kick in until parents money is completely depleted. Once Medicaid does kick in, don't they continue paying until the end? Why should taxpayer money be paid before their own money is depleted?
So that there is money left for their kids to inherit?

This is something for which you will have to search your soul. If your parents assets are depleting rapidly and you are relying on them for your income it might be time to discuss some form of assisted living. Don't walk away when they need you most. During this period of finding a new life for your parents and yourself, keep your patience and your relationship with your parents open. Good luck on all your futures.

yahua855, you should find out what effect those "gifts" and "loans" would have if your mom needed to go onto Medicaid.

I think they are depleting her accounts so that there's still money available from the funds gifted to us to help her stay in the facility she's at now. They don't take Medicaid so she'd have to move to a place where they do accept it when she runs out of money -- sadly, a much lower quality facility. Medicaid won't help her unless she's totally broke. Great system, eh?

yahu, gifting about $36,400/per year "so that there's still money available from the funds gifted to us to help her stay in the facility she's at now" - I'm lost. If the concern is keeping her in the same place as long as possible, why not leave the money in her accounts? Sadly, when folks divvy up inheritance before Medicaid, it's the parent who has to deal with the Medicaid penalty.

Everyone in this forum has different situations concerning elder care and whether or not they are compensated for it. Some people accept a nominal fee just for "gas money" etc. Others who, welcome their parents into their homes, figure out how much "rent and utilities" to charge, if any. Basically, it is up to your parents to figure out how much they can afford.
I would not recommend trying to make your parent's contribution your sole source of income. Looks like they don't have it and may need whatever is left for future care. Do they own a home? If so, are you living in their home?
And as stated above, please do not step away from caring for your parents because they can no longer afford to pay you. At the very least, insure that they have care in place, or can go to an ALF where there are many services.
To answer your question: No, it is not elder abuse to be compensated to care for your parents as long as the compensation does not exceed what they would give paid caregivers in your area and you have their written permission. However, leaving your parents high and dry could be.
good luck.

I don't get the logic either. But, it's out of my hands as my brother and his wife hold power of attorney over my mom's medical and financial affairs. Should something happen to them, then POA falls to me since I'm the younger sib..