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It's unbelievable how my mother's brain continues to torture her. Now after a 3rd? ischemic stroke, (doctor said there were signs of older ones on CT, plus the old unruptured aneurysms we already knew about), she has been diagnosed with aphasia and she is struggling to get her words out. She says 5 or 6 words perfectly, then stumbles to finish the sentence. She is still letting me know how awful it is that I put her in a memory care facility, and that it must mean I don't love her and I just want to have fun at home without her. I'm not having any fun. I've been running to help her, trying to keep a job and a marriage, and having money problems for as long as she's had dementia. If my husband and I had to live in this tiny house with her childish craziness, I don't know what I'd do. Funny how they can imagine we caregivers are off having a party, when all we ever do is work and sleep.
SORRY FOR THE LONG FUSS!My real question is: Has anyone had experience with Eliquis making dementia behaviors worse? I know strokes bring anxiety of their own. She says she doesn't want to die, she just wants to get better. It makes me want to rip a hole in the heavens and scream "WHY??"

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Eloquis reduces clotting strokes but offers no protection for bleeds. Her circumstances will just get worse. Just tell mom that her doctor will decide when it is safe for her to go home. It is your choice to recommend she talk to her doctor. You can sympathize and confirm that her situation socks, but you cannot help her then try to change the subject.
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Reply to MACinCT
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I doubt Eliquis has a role here. Please stop listening to these diatribes from mom, it’s toxic to the soul and serves zero purpose. She’s in memory care to keep her safe and cared for even if she can never see that, you’ve done well by her. Limit your exposure and see if a medication to calm the rants is appropriate. I wish you both peace
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Reply to Daughterof1930
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BlueHeron Aug 16, 2025
Thank you Daughter1930. I will talk to the nurse practitioner on Monday. Mom just rang my phone for the sixth time today! I let it go to voicemail this time. The people who work in her hall love her to pieces, and she's not alone. I'm going to visit her tomorrow, then go get my mammogram on Monday, haha! Fun times!
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No. Mom was on Xarelto for yrs and had bad bruising and then severe nosebleeds. I discontinued the Xarelto and she stopped with the nosebleeds, but her dementia behavior and ugliness didn't change, unfortunately.

See about Ativan or another medication to calm mother down. And stop jumping to her every demand, that's my suggestion. It's not like there's anything you can actually DO for her, and you wind up hurting yourself by the exposure to all the toxic accusations. I know, I lived thru it myself. I kept my visits to once a week and left when the ugliness got very bad. I always brought DH with me too, since her outbursts were more controlled with the "outsider" around.

Dementia is such a no win situation for all concerned. Best of luck, my friend.
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Reply to lealonnie1
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BlueHeron Aug 16, 2025
Thank you lealonnie. It's so easy for me to give words of comfort to other families at mom's facility, but I have a hard time comforting myself! It can really pile up on you! I want to blame someone, but it's just life. Stuff happens that our loved ones don't deserve.
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