Eating all the wrong food. Any thoughts?

I wish I knew the answer since I’m having a food dilemma as well . I’m fluctuating constantly between policing and giving up . My husband is a type 2 diabetic and before his AD controlled it beautifully on his own . He does take Metformin as well . For awhile , at the beginning we partnered beautifully on his diet . Now ? Forget it . The Dr has said it’s up to me now and believe me I know it but easier said than done . I restrict what I bring in but even whole grain and whole wheat products have carbs and he doesn’t know when to stop . His appetite is nil as well unless he is eating what he now likes which is everything that is not good for him . But, as others have said , he needs to eat .
So as I said before , no answers just a day when I say no battles and we have a good day or a day when I police him and then I feel like I need an ice cream sundae with a big goblet of wine when he goes up to bed .I also find that even his doctors that have known him for years just don’t get this disease and the battles we fight every day.
Thanks tho for your question since this is a rant I’ve needed to do for months .

Stopping the sugar is a big problem. How about fixing him some sugar free desserts sweetened with stevia or coconut sugar or monk fruit. Does he go with you when you buy grocieries? If not, you can control how much sugary items come through your door. Perhaps not buying the sugar laden stuff in the first place.

Jamison, I had the same issue when my father came to live with me. He wanted sweet things & bread. I found out his favorite flavors. His favorites were lime, chocolate, and strawberry. I developed healthy shakes with these flavors. Look at my profile for the other ingredients that I put in the shakes. My father has excellent numbers. Just today, he is on his sixth 8 oz drink. A dessert that I fix for him includes 2 boxes of lime jello, 1 quart of lime sherbet, and a tub of fat free whipped topping. Put in blender, then refrigerator. If there is a concern about sugar, fake sugar, etc. Use plain gelatin with lime juice, stevia, etc. You can still have "sweets", just change a few ingredients. A great afternoon snack is, Ritz crackers with Peanut butter on them.

These are all great ideas on allowing him sweet foods, but making sure they are good sweet foods. I think it's a good idea for all of us to restrict our consumption of refined sugars--but there are so many sweet, delicious whole foods that contain fibers, nutrients, and protein too. Dried mangoes are sweet and tangy. Dried papaya is great for digestion. Dried dates can be topped with peanut butter for a very delicious and protein rich snack. Maybe see how he likes a few of these?

If you have already discussed this with him and his answer was that he had rather have what he wants (sweets) than live a longer life, why not just let him eat what he wants and be happy if he has dementia anyway. My grandmother filled her grocery cart with little cakes and ice cream and candy and she was 83 and had diabetes and got a shot in her leg every day in the 90’s. Mom talked to her doctor and she was also having dementia episodes. Doctor said not to deprive her of any happiness she was getting at her age and health. She died at 87 years old (we should all be that lucky). Same thing with my Dad. He loved his sweets and also a Big Mac. He lived to be 89 and died in 2016. He did not have dementia but had heart issues. We let him eat anything he wanted. Why deprive them in their last years of something so important to them if they have been warned?? They made their choices. Having to sneak to eat what you want and feel like you are being judged is like being in prison and not fair to aging adults. I hope this helps. Let him be happy. It is not easy to be quiet. I know what you are seeing and feeling but it is what it is.

Sugar is the poison here.

even people with non-dementia are addicted to it.

a great many studies have been done of the last 50 years. Brain scans of people eating sugar look exactly like the brain scan of people using heroin.

there is sugar in every prepackaged food you buy, even worse...high fructose. Which is hundreds of times worse. The food manufacturers know all about those studies.....

there is only one way to break an addiction that is triggering the endorphins in the brain...cold turkey. Nothing else works.

i wonder if he or you can withstand the 2 week period to kick this? He doesn’t want to...I am guessing you are not going to force this either.

remember too..he has had 50 or more years to pile damage on damage thru sugar use...you cannot correct it all in a short time. So, is it worth the pain and agony to drag an unwilling man thru withdrawal now?

I have a mother with dementia and a serious sweet tooth, so I know what you're dealing with. 

Part of me wants to suggest that you buy several desserts for him that are "sugar free" and take them out of the packaging so he can't tell and see if he notices.  Jello can be purchased sugar free and then you could put some berries in it ...

The other part of me wants to suggest letting him do what he wants.  With the dementia he has a very limited life and if this brings him pleasure, so be it.  I watched my MIL limit what my FIL ate because she didn't want him to have high cholesterol and I remember thinking...he has dementia and can't do anything..he has zero quality of life.  If he wants a steak, for the love of Christ give him a steak!

I haven't read all of the answers to your questions yet, but can you try things like sugar free jello and sugar free jam? I do understand that his condition isn't going to get better but I would worry about diabetes. Having an another health issue is something that you or him don't need.

I am so sorry to read all these posts from caregivers who know they must limit foods their loved ones want to eat. With me, I am constantly policing the peanuts that my dad wants. He has severe congestive heart failure, so he is supposed to have only a few grams of salt per day. I cleared with his doctor to mix lightly salted peanuts with unsalted, and I keep them labeled in a jar. But he goes through them so quickly! In no time he's asking me to come back and to premix him more.

Is it possible that all these posts we're reading here are food kicks? It seems almost like a toddler who will only eat one thing for weeks at a time.

As I mentioned in my previous post I have such mixed feelings about this . My husband’s issue is not necessarily cravings but I don’t think he’s cognitive any more of how to manage his diabetes . I also know that our taste buds are affected as we age so I’m sure this plays a part as well . Then I remember my dear mother who was on the heavy side but lived to age 95 and was sharp as a tac until the end . She was told for years to watch her sugar and salt but never did . When asked her secret to old age she would answer hot dogs and chocolate . My Dad , on the other hand exercised before the rest of the world did, took the stairs and never an elevator and could eat one peanut then stop . He died at 68 of colon cancer so what to do , what to do . My DH has so little pleasures in life anymore that sometimes I think at 77 stop nagging . When I cook something that takes a lot of skill and has lots of veggies he says he’s not hungry . When I make chicken tenders ( whole wheat panko and olive oil so you see I still try ) and French fries he grins and says best meal ever . Do any of us as caregivers have all the answers ? I know the doctors sure don’t . We plod along doing the best we can and second guess ourselves constantly .

Part of dementia and old age is that sense of taste changes. Sweet flavors tend to be the last to go and are more enjoyable. What abot fresh fruit cut up in the fridge for easy access. If your worried he eats too much bread and jelly in one sitting try breaking the loaf up in quarters, wrap 3 parts up and freeze, leave 1/4 loaf where you normally do, it may help to control part of the problem. They also make low sugar preserves which taste very good. MIL prefers it says it has a better taste. Will he use honey in his tea instead of sugar? Still has sweet flavor but a bit better for him. I don't like using artificial sweeteners but that's a personal choice. I don't cook with margarine either, unsalted butter. Sliced carrots with dip? Carrots have a natural sweet taste to them. I make a chopped cooked apple, cinnamon, honey raisin/craisin mixture for adding to oatmeal. I also found a pancake syrup that has a bit lower sugar content (I need to watch her sodium intake more than her sugar) also only 25 mg of sodium compared to 120 for regular table syrup. Michelle's maple creme I believe it's called. Don't know how it tastes but I have seen sugar free ice cream. Not an easy situation, you want to keep them healthy yet you can't take all the fun stuff away either. Check out KETO dessert recipes, no carbs but still satisfies a sweet tooth. Individual dark chocolate bites? Only put a few out at a time. Be very careful with sugar free candy, it will have a laxative effect if too many are eaten during the day.

He is addicted to sugar and he'll no doubt go to great lengths to get it. So like an alcoholic or a user of nicotine, he'll move the "literal heaven and earth" to get it. It's your job to lock away all these sweets. Prayers to you.

I wonder if there is another angle here. As a reformed sugar hound of many decades, I know that boredom is the next stop away from falling into the candy dish. Your husband has had to give up several meaningful activities like using his power tools, etc. I know that dementia limits what people can do, but is there any activity that your husband might enjoy that would take his mind off of food?

I am really shocked that nobody is worried about his sugar intake. Doesnt he get sugar jitters? It doesnt make him anxious or aggressive? Doesnt the sugar keep him up at night? Doesnt eating just sugar make him feel awful? Isnt this just slow suicide by food?

I have heard of people who were confined to a hospital for mental illness who consumed loads of sugar packets. Desperate people go to great lengths to obtain sugar.

yes, stop buying the unhealthy stuff. Keep it out of the house.